Archive for December 10th, 2009


Dance With the Bloopers Who Brung Ya

Winner of a Congressional Water Safety Award in 1978, Bill Dance is a legend in the bass fishing world who has had a fishing show since the 1960s, his most recent version (Bill Dance Outdoors) airs on the Versus network in between hockey and the constant showings of Bloodsport. The long-time fisherman has had a number of bloopers during his day, and this 3 minute clip captures some truly hilarious ones.

Say what you want about the inanity of fishing — I agree — but these bloopers are absolutely amazing, I’m almost tempted to buy one of his DVDs to see more. I won’t but I’m tempted.

The camera guy falling off the clip completely slays me, that shit is PRICELESS.


Surfing on Waves Higher Than an Apartment Building

With waves as high as 50 feet, the Quicksilver in memory of Eddie Aikau was held on Tuesday on the North Shore of Oahu. Greg Long of California ended up the winner of the day, taking home a $55,000 prize while riding 40-50 foot high waves in each of his runs.

“I’m so happy just to be here, invited into the biggest event of big waves in the world with all my heroes, I’m so excited,” said Long.

In second place was surfing legend and one-time Baywatch cast member Kelly Slater.

[Quicksilver in Memory of Eddie Aikau]


Devin Harris is the Only Net Worth Watching

There has been almost nothing worthwhile to cheer for with the New Jersey Nets this season — something they anticipated when they offered ticket packages that gave away the OPPOSING team’s jerseys — but during last night’s Nets/Warriors game Devin Harris came through with one big highlight. Harris, one of the fastest players in the NBA saw CJ Watson going in for an easy lay-up so Harris decided to make it a bit more uncomfortable.

Wow. Too bad he’s languishing on such a miserably awful team.


Panthers Defenseman Knocks Out His Own Teammate

On Monday when the Edmonton Oilers took on the Florida Panthers, late in the second period, Oilers center Robert Nilsson glided up the ice, the only problem was that the Panthers’ Bryan Allen had him dead-to-rights in his sights.

Allen came flying in to check Nilsson somewhere into the next decade except, with a nifty spin-move Nilsson avoided the hit. All that energy had to go somewhere though and unable to stop himself in time, Allen instead slammed into his own teammate, Gregory Campbell, knocking Campbell out cold. Oops!

I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to take your teammates out of the game. I mean, I’m only a novice at hockey, but that seems counterproductive…

[Low on Oil]


The Winter Classic Looks Magical

When you think of fine wine probably the FIRST thing you think of is the NHL. Or at least I do, but then I’m a classy kind of guy.

For those of you unaware, the NHL has an official special event wine maker, Joseph George, who makes special wines and bottles for “the All-Star Games and milestone player accomplishment bottles as well as the new Winter Classic bottles.”

Awesome! Now when you think varietals, you too should think of the NHL.

Me, I’m too busy scheming of a way to get tickets to the Winter Classic at Fenway. Sure, it’s going to be balls-ass cold, but think about how incredibly amazing it will be to watch a hockey game out at the ol’ ballpark!

One artist has an idea what it will be like, pretty dope if you ask me.  It’d definitely be kick-ass if it snows during the game, but Al Gore believes that won’t happen. I’d also imagine there will be a hell of a lot more NBC signage up, but otherwise, this looks pretty magical.

So, if you have a spare ticket lying around, why not take your friendly neighborhood sports blogger. After all, I already bring so much happiness into your life, isn’t it time you repay the favor?

[Puck Daddy]


Banging Stephen Dorff is More Memorable Than Tiger

Somehow this slipped past all the blogs out there — which is especially amazing considering the amount of pornography that sports bloggers look at — but last May, while taping something for the Naughty America website, porn star Holly Sampson admitted that she had sex with Tiger Woods. It went unnoticed though, until all the current hoopla exploded on everyone’s face.

Of course, Tiger only gets third billing, after Kevin “huge cock” Costner and Stephen Dorff; that’s gotta sting.

Video is SFW but has some NSFW language.


Good News for Your Eyesight

After a grand total of 1 game, the Seattle Seahawks are retiring their hideous puke-green uniforms because, as head coach Jim Mora Jr. says, “we didn’t win in them.”

Fans without taste will be devastated.


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Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

December 2009