The Slanch Report

I have zero interest in getting into the whole Tiger Woods story, frankly, who gives a shit whether or not he cheats on his wife; besides her, obviously. It does nothing to my life and doesn’t particularly change my opinion of him which is based around the fact that he is a really amazing golfer. Everything else is irrelevant.

Having said that, here is a hilarious clip from Tuesday’s Daily Show where they just straight up eviscerate the cable news channels’ overbearing coverage of a story for which they had practically no factual information but spent dozens of hours wasting oxygen with scurrilous rumors, speculation and innuendo.

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I simply don’t get why everyone is so obsessed with this story, the constant rubbernecking in these situations just simply disgusts me. Great, he cheated on his wife, I don’t get it, I’m not a cheater, but I know plenty of dudes who are, it’s not that unusual, but his cheating affects 3 people, his wife and his 2 kids, that’s it. Everyone else is irrelevant. The constant breathless updates from the “news” media are skeevy and perverse.

Besides, none of this is news to me, back when I worked at Men’s Fitness magazine in 2007 I was privy to information that the National Enquirer (which is owned by the same parent company and shares offices) had caught Tiger in flagrante delicto. In exchange for burying the story he agreed to do a cover story for the magazine; something it could never have gotten otherwise with its low profile and shitty sales.  I didn’t care then and I don’t care now. What other men do with their penii is irrelevant to me; It’s only mine I’m concerned with.

[The Daily Show]