Posts Tagged ‘Cricket

30
Nov
09

Ex-Cricketer is Making Art at 100 MPH

Earlier in the decade with some of their matches rained out, British cricketer Ashley Giles took his teammate (and English team captain) Michael Vaughan to some art galleries outside London. Those visits stuck with Vaughan and after he retired in 2005 from the game, he’s taken to the art world.

Combining his two interests, Vaughan creates abstract artistic pieces through a process he calls “artballing” where he bats paint-smeared cricket balls at speeds over 100 mph against a canvas to create his unique works in a very  Maude-Lebowski-esque manner.

Working in a warehouse in Yorkshire, Vaughan said: “It is a very rare thing to be able to follow a career path that you love and the opportunity to combine my two greatest passions – art and cricket – has been a sublime moment in an extraordinary life of highs and low, dreams and sometimes nightmares.

“Artballing captures the drama, speed and excitement of cricket in one precious, dynamic visual moment that…lasts a lifetime.”

[BBC]

20
Nov
09

Cricket Player Opts for Lipo to Get in Shape

They take cricket very seriously in Pakistan and the members of the Pakistan Cricket Board are very unhappy with Shoaib Akhtar, once one of the top players in the country. In recent months Akhtar had become rather rotund, so much so that he opted for liposuction as a means of getting back into slimmer, faster shape.

The cosmetic surgery will keep him sidelined for 5 months though, meaning he’ll miss a number of very important matches for the Pakistani team. The Board are especially pissed because Akhtar never consulted or even told them he was getting the surgery which they say will help his physical appearance but, according to Dr. Waqar Ahmed of the Pakistan Sports Board, “has nothing to do with the fitness of a player.”

”Mostly it is done for improving the figure and other cosmetic reasons whereas the shedding of weight of more than 12 kilograms might help him only when he will improve his muscle strength and stamina. ‘Considering his age, I don’t think he will be able to show any kind of improvement as compared to his last previous performance.”

Earlier this year another health story about Akhtar made the rounds when he threatened to sue the national board after they released that he was unable to play in the World Cup because he had an STD. ”The medical board has reported that Akhtar was suffering from genital viral warts,” the PCB statement at the time read.

Thanks guys!

[Stuff.co.nz]

30
Sep
09

Sex Helps Cricket Players Perform Better

cricket-ballCoaches and managers often ban their players from having the sex before important matches with the worry that players might tire themselves out too much. India’s cricket team coach Gary Kirsten feels the opposite. The training manual he handed out to the team recommends they have sex prior to matches and if they don’t have a special friend that “one option is to go solo whilst imagining you have a partner, or a few partners, who are as beautiful as you wish to imagine. No pillow talk and no hugging required … just roll over and go to sleep..”
“From a psychological perspective, having sex increased testosterone levels, which causes an increase in strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness,” the manual reads.
After word of the manual broke, the entire country has exploded in debate. Despite inventing the Kama Sutra (Thanks!) India is very conservative, even sex education has been banned in schools. For his part, Kirsten claims that he didn’t write the part about sex, blaming it on team trainer Paddy Upton. Classy!
In recent years the Indian cricket team has become much more popular, with its stars gracing commercials and the gossip pages, constantly being linked to various Bollywood actresses, the players have become seen much more as sexual objects. The day before breaking this story, the Hindustan Times’ Sunday magazine cover showed batsman Manish Pandey with his shirt off and the headline: “What do cricket and Bollywood have in common? Young men who would get nowhere without perfect bodies.” Today the men on the Indian team are national idols complete with groupies and it seems possible that this story will help move India away from their conservative past and into a more modern, open society.

Plus, getting some rich cricket dudes laid.
[Global Post]

03
Aug
09

Things You Don’t Hear on US TV

ShaneWarneMTX_468x601Australian cricket legend Shane Warne was broadcasting for Sky Sports during the Edgbaston Ashes Tests when he made a bit of a verbal gaffe. Paceman — whatever the hell that is — Ben Hilfenhaus “let the ball out of his grip as he ran in to bowl,” — whatever the hell THAT is — and the commentators talked about whether the batsman could hit the ball while it lay sitting in the grass. Warne said the ball had to cross the bowling crease, he added: “Then you can step up and twat it!” — whatever THAT means.

Warne’s fellow commentator David Lloyd could be heard muffling his laughter before being professional and regaining his composure.

I looks like Warne took the time to read city council member Bob Piper’s blog about how to sneak alcohol into the stadium…

[Daily Star]

28
Jul
09

Now THIS is My Idea of Good Governing

380_Image_Edgbaston_PavilionIn Birmingham, England, a city councilor is under fire for writing a blog entry advising fans on how best to smuggle alcohol into the Edgbaston cricket arena.

Sandwell Council’s Bob Piper wrote a blog revealing his “foolproof method of smuggling a decent drink” into the grounds. Entitled “Defying the Edgbaston drinks ban”, the blog at bobpiper.co.uk claims alcohol can be taken past security guards using a bizarre method involving a plastic box and tomatoes.

The Labour councillor writes: “If you like a bit of a tipple during the match, Edgbaston can be a bit of a nightmare on test match day, because they search everyone’s bags on the way in and confiscate any alcohol at the gate or refuse you entry.

“It’s not as if alcohol is banned or anything, it is just that Warwickshire County Cricket Club want you to splash out on buying their alcohol, which is OK if you want a bottle of Moet for about 50 notes, or pints of frozen Carling fizzy lager.”

He then advises readers to remove the cardboard case from a three-litre box of wine, before hiding the silver foil container inside in a plastic lunchbox covered with tomato.

He continues: “There you have it, friends. Tuck it in to your rucksack with a packet of crisps and a couple of glasses… and you should have plenty to sustain until at least the lunchtime session. And after that we crack open Chrissie’s tea flask and enjoy a drop of fine Guinness. Works every time for me.”

The Warwickshire County Cricket Club was obviously less then pleased, saying, “Whilst it is disappointing to hear reports of these comments, the ground regulations are quite clear for this match and have been in place for some time and will be applied as normal.” I fucking LOVE England, do you think you’d ever see a press release from an American sports institution that led off with “Whilst”?

Ever the opportunists, a spokesperson for charity Drinkaware said: “What’s the point in buying Ashes tickets if you don’t fully appreciate it because you’re drinking? And what if that crucial wicket that changes the destiny of the series falls while you’re at the bar or in the toilet?”

I can’t begin to count how many crucial wickets I’ve missed because I was at the bar. Thousands probably. What a fool I’ve been.

[24 Dash]

02
Jun
09

England Discovers Sunglasses

British citizens automatically seem to be a little bit classier, a little bit smarter and certainly more cultured, just by nature of their accents than Americans. However, then I see this article, from the science correspondent of the Telegraph, I start to rethink the way I see the Brits.

Here’s the actual headline from the story:

England Cricket Team’s secret weapon – sunglasses

The England cricket team are to use a secret weapon in this summer’s international matches: coloured sunglasses.

PD*18897753

Read the whole article if you’re so inclined, but basically it turns out that dark lenses make it harder for cricket players to see the ball and that with lighter glasses they can see the ball easier. AMAZING!

Michael Vaughan, former England captain and batsman, said he regularly wears black-tinted sunglasses to help him pick out the ball in bright conditions. He said: “I wear black iridium sunglasses.

“I used to wear them when it was windy to help keep the wind out of my eyes. When it was sunny or slightly bright it would help reduce the glare.

“With the amount of time we spend outside, a lot of the players find it helps relax our eyes if we are wearing sunglasses and it can help you pick the ball up quicker.”

The Brits have had scientists and optometrists working on these revelations in secret, in order to maintain their competitive edge over the rest of the cricket world.

Sometimes I wonder how a worldwide empire can collapse, then I read this story…

[Telegraph]

11
May
09

They Always Destroy Those We Love Most

Sad news today; those pictures from the Panamanian cricket game that seemed too good to be true were just that. Careful investigation by The Rap Up has discovered that the initial doubts were justified, these photos were photoshopped. Why must the world conspire to take away the best among us? Here is the ORIGINAL photo prior to being altered; still nice, but not out of this world.

realSigh.

[The Rap Up]




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