Posts Tagged ‘Cheerleaders

04
Dec
09

Mike Lowell Doppelganger Teaches Cheerleaders the Sound of One Hand Fwapping

In Dover, New Hampshire police recently arrested 47-year-old Roy Chapman Jr, the Mike Lowell doppelganger was spotted by school custodians exposing himself as he sneaked a peek at the high school’s cheerleading tryouts.

After being seen, Chapman booked it, but police, with the help of a police dog, found him in the woods nearby. Police also found a small amount of weed in Chapman’s parked car in the school’s lot.

Fortunately, none of the cheerleaders saw Chapman who is being charged with indecent exposure, lewdness and possession of a controlled drug.

[WVCB via Busted Coverage]

23
Nov
09

Hot Cheerleader Gets Hurt, I’m LIVID!

As the final seconds of double overtime counted down in Saturday’s Oregon/Arizona football game, somewhere out in the crowd a nearly full water bottle came flying onto the field striking Oregon senior cheerleader Katelynn Johnson on the head. She managed to make her way to the sidelines after being hit before she passed out.

A stretcher came out to take her to the hospital where she was kept overnight for observation but she is expected to be fine. When the Oregon Ducks were leaving the field, according to their Athletic Director, they were being pelted with a slew of items, including batteries and bottles.

I for one am HORRIFIED by this incident. If you’re going to hurt someone, hurt one of the UGLY kids, I mean, for god’s sake, this girl is HOT, she doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment. Don’t you know hot people are your betters?

[Oregon Live via Sports By Brooks]

21
Jul
09

Brazilian Cheerleaders Make the World Better

Brazil exports many goods around the world, and it was about time that the US gets our trade deficit more in order by sending them something of great value back, cheerleaders! Do you know what happens when you take the hottest national population and then add cheerleaders into the mix? Well, here’s the answer.

504x_custom_1239119089413_cheerleadersbrasilmonique_543x380_ae

Have I mentioned how much I love Brazil?

[Fleshbot] (link NSFW)

01
Jul
09

Isiah Thomas Forces College Cheerleaders Into Bikini Car Wash

Vodpod videos no longer available.

In April, Florida International University made the questionable choice of hiring Isiah Thomas as their new men’s basketball coach. The hiring was idiotic; he’s never been a good coach, he’s been terrible in management positions and of course, his personal behavior can be a bit, er, erratic shall we say. Throw in that Thomas was given a 5-year $5 million contract, (although he has said he will donate his first year salary BACK to the school) and the decision makes zero sense. Now, thanks to adding in Thomas’ big money deal, the school is forced to make cutbacks elsewhere. First off, and most horribly, the cheerleading team is being scrapped!

In order for the program to be saved, the cheerleaders need to raise $50,000, which they have been attempting to do via bake sale, bikini car wash (yes!) and of course, a calendar. Now, if only the school had some money lying around, hmmm, if only they didn’t wastefully spend it on a basketball coach who will leave the program in tatters and produce zero success. If only!

Of course, if this turns out to be a move solely to prevent Isiah Thomas from being around cute college co-eds, I

wholeheartedly support it and retract all my criticism.

[Online Sports Guys]

21
Apr
09

Up High in Denver, Broncos Hold Cheerleader Tryouts

Up in the Mile High City, the Denver Broncos held cheerleader tryouts, fortunately, the local CBS affiliate was THERE, making sure no one missed anything important. You too can join in the ogling fun!

broncoscheerleader1broncoscheerleaders2

10
Apr
09

Scouting the Competition?

421fe9785d3844c71a27876d6f04c2c0_kim-kardashian-knicks-gameI guess when your entire specious claim to celebrity is based on appearing in a sex video and having a delightful bootylicious behind, it’s important to keep an eye on the assets of other women. So when Kim Kardashian and Britney Gastineau (daughter of former Jets sack-man Mark Gastineau) decide to take in a Knicks game it is little surprise that Kim gets caught ogling the fine backside of one of the Knicks famous dancers. Although, to be fair, watching the dancers is much more enjoyable than trying to pay attention to what the Knicks are doing on the court…

[Sports by Brooks]

01
Apr
09

Coming Soon to an Arena Near You

America exports nearly everything, and sometimes it’s the best we’ve got. For example, the NBA and Chinese beer giant Tsingtao Brewery are joining forces to launch a cheerleading competition to air on the state-run television channel. The winners of the competition will get the opportunity to come to the US and train with a real NBA dance team! Besides the dance competition, according to producer Su Ling, the show will also focus on “NBA culture … Michael Jordan, the Lakers and basketball history.” Sounds exciting!

After the success of the cheerleaders at the Olympics, the “la la dui,” which is the Chinese word(s?) for the dancers have gained much more mainstream acceptance. The NBA-Tsingtao show, called “Qing Wu Men” in Chinese, which translates roughly into the very catchy “Young Dance Stage.”

Look out world, China has too many people to not overwhelm NBA dance teams with floods of young hot dancer girls. Which, now that I think about it isn’t necessarily a bad thing…

[Hollywood Reporter]

19
Mar
09

Now THAT’s Bracketology

As loyal readers know, I hate college sports, I hate March Madness and I will not be participating in any bracket pools whatsoever, besides of course So Good’s Meat Madness. Were I to participate though, it would be in Fan IQ’s much more entertaining and pleasing Cheerleader Madness. Pitting each school’s cheerleaders against one another in the actual brackets is significantly more exciting then being forced to watch bad basketball and crappy players.

I might even pick a major upset, with Tennessee-Chattanooga taking it over #1 seed UConn, or maybe I’m just a sucker for tight pants…

d208305ebe9fa7760b00719d0c83abcbe0dada39429444378fa678d94367f2cf

EAST Bracket

MID-WEST Bracket

SOUTH Bracket

WEST Bracket

[Fan IQ]

16
Jan
09

The Best Cheerleaders in the NFL

I simply can’t compete with the already wonderful gallery that the folks at Fan IQ have already assembled of the Pro Bowl’s most interesting participants, the Pro Bowl Cheerleaders, so I’ll just link to it and show a couple photos here to whet your appetite, or whatever else you want moistened. But definitely make your way over there if you’re so inclined, you’ll be glad you did.

For example, meet the lovely Alyssa, from my own New England Patriots cheerleader squad:

Go Pats!

Or the equally lovely Ashley from the Texans:

I could go on and on and on, but they’ve already done the hard work and assembled a multitude of images for each fine cheerleader, so check them out and then book your ticket for the Pro Bowl, because now it matters!

[Fan IQ]

30
Oct
08

Roethlisberger Hates on Cheerleaders

In this week’s Monday Night Football matchup the Pittsburgh Steelers are set to face off against the Washington Redskins but for players like Ben Roethlisberger this game won’t be a fun one to play. “I’m not a big fan of playing there because it is loud, they’re really good at home…” he told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Seems fair, I can’t imagine it’s a lot of fun having 50,000 people rooting against you and hoping for your failure, but then again, he’s a professional athlete and should be used to it. But wait, there’s more, that wasn’t the end of the quote! He went on to voice his real displeasure with playing the Redskins, “…they try to make their cheerleaders stretch in our tunnel before we come out of the locker room. That’s just not good. The couple of preseason games I’ve played down there, we’ve seen it,” Roethlisberger said, “It can be [a distraction], let’s be truthful. They’ve done it before. I’ve heard a rumor that they’re not allowed to do it anymore.”

It’s true, the league last year instituted a rule colloquially known as the “Redskins Rule” wherein the cheerleaders are not supposed to warm up in front of the visiting team’s locker room entrance. Since there are multiple entrances and such somehow the Redskins’ ladies are able to get around this rule. Meanwhile, for Roethlisberger their T&A is simply too much for he and his teammates to handle. Most players thought this ruling was an overreaction and unnecessary but clearly Roethlisberger disagrees. Hey guys, why not just play the game and THEN worry about banging the cheerleaders? You make millions of dollars, I’m sure you can charm them. So stop whining, take a peek and then go about your job.

22
Oct
08

Cheerleaders? OK!

MSNBC presents a giant slideshow of NFL cheerleaders. That’s MSNBC, hard-hitting news since 1996.

17
Oct
08

The Ladies Love Longoria

Sure, Evan Longoria had an errant throw that directly led to the winning run in last night’s ball game–although I firmly believe that Pena should have received the error there, the ball bounced in front of him enough for him to readjust and catch it, he’s the one who should have gotten the error–but he has plenty of exciting other things going on. For example, he reportedly has a hot girlfriend.

Longoria has been spotted at a University of Southern Florida football game with a quite attractive lass. (Video HERE) Some sleuthing by the gents over at Sports by Brooks and they think they’ve identified the mysterious young lady, she’s Jaime Hanna, by day a a dental hygienist, on the weekends, a 2 year veteran of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers cheerleading squad.

Now, I’m not 100% they are the same lady, but hey, cheerleader photos right…

[Sports by Brooks]




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

July 2020
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Categories