Posts Tagged ‘New England Patriots


Pat the Patriot Patriotically Pays for Prostitutes

A month after closing a loophole in the Rhode Island prostitution laws, legislators are already seeing results after the State Police arrested 14 people for prostitution-related crimes. Up until recently, prostitution was legal INDOORS, but the state legislature took care of that fun technicality and made it illegal and all prostitution acts a misdemeanor.

Among the 8 men arrested was 47-year-old Warwick, RI resident Robert Sormanti who is one of several people who perform the duties of Pat the Patriot, the New England football team’s mascot. The team was less than enthused releasing in a statement:

“The Pat Patriot mascot costume is worn by multiple people, each of whom are held responsible and accountable for their actions. The individual in question has been suspended. The mascot responsibilities will continue to be fulfilled by others.”

All the arrests were conducted via sting operations through Craigslist. In the first one, police pretended to be a woman offering sex in exchange for money. The second ad focused on a trooper responding to other ads placed on Craigslist. In a hopeful sign of the economy’s recovery, one of the prostitutes told police that she makes $1,000 a day and business for two of the women appeared very lucrative. One of them arrived at the meeting place in a new Mercedes and the other in a 750-series BMW.

[Turn to 10]


Belichick Kicks 4 Players Out of Practice for Tardiness

Coming off their first 2-loss streak in 57 games, you’d hope that the Patriots were dedicating themselves to rediscover their swagger. Instead, with snow swirling around Boston today 4 players arrived late to an 8 AM meeting and were sent home. It’s not like Wednesday is one of the most important days of practice or anything, so I can see why they didn’t show on time. It’s also not like these are professional athletes with limited responsibilities beyond SHOWING UP TO PRACTICE!

Of the players in question, I’m not astonished that defensive end Derrick Burgess was no-show, after all, that’s exactly what he’s done on the field all season. Has he even been playing, because I feel like I have nearly the exact same stats as him for the season. Among the other players missing was Adalius Thomas, the highest paid defensive player on the team who has never lived up to the contract he signed and the expectations that came with it. He won’t be with the team next season for certain, but at least pretend like you care. Middle linebacker Gary Guyton was another of the tardy players, and from a young player like that, who was an undrafted free agent I expect more. This is a guy who has had to bust his ass to get where he is, don’t get lazy now!

And lastly, the final late player was one Randy Moss. Yes, Randy has been a model citizen in his time with the Patriots, yes the weather IS bad but there is simply no acceptable excuse for him to be late unless he has video footage of him singlehandedly pulling a school bus full of children out of a snowbank. This is the same Randy who put up little effort to prevent an interception in the end zone on Sunday, and who has been dominant for stretches and then non-existent in others. C’MON RANDY, you’re better than that.



Someone Get Joey Porter a Stylist

For Joey Porter it’s a good thing that the Dolphins beat the Patriots yesterday because otherwise he would have looked like an even bigger douche. The first contest between these two teams featured plenty of jawing from Porter before the game, and then little from him DURING it. In fact he finished the day with no tackles, no sacks and nothing on the stat sheet, something the stadium scoreboard operators thought important enough to point out.

Where in the first game he was totally invisible, yesterday he actually contributed, sort of, finishing with 3 tackles and assisting on another one. After yesterday’s surprise win over the Patriots, Porter held court in the locker room with reporters and this time he was highly visible, if incredibly poorly dressed.

Hey Joey, guess what, you’re a well-paid professional football player, NOT a soldier. You want to be a soldier? Great, go sign up like Pat Tillman did. Otherwise, buy some normal clothes that help you not look like quite as much of an enormous douchenozzle. Also, last I checked, there’s not a whole lot of forests in the Miami area, so, what exactly are you trying to camouflage yourself from, I mean, I can still see you for the tool you are.

[Boston Globe]


Belichick Wears a Mic

I love insider-y stuff, getting the chance to listen to Bill Belichick on the sidelines during a game is exactly the type of thing I’m interested in.Now, obviously the audio gets edited by the NFL before they release it, but it still is a totally cool way to see/hear/understand the game, particularly from a football genius like Belichick. I’d love someday to be the guy in the truck who gets to hear the whole, unadulterated version because I bet THAT is super-interesting. Oh well.



The Patriots Stars Travel in Style

While everyone else on the Patriots showed up for their trans-Atlantic flight in casual comfortable clothes, Tom Brady, the 2007 Esquire Best Dressed Man rolled up in a super stylin’ grey suit looking dapper as ever. Look at that pocket square, PERFECTLY folded, seriously, this man knows how to dress to impress. Brady StylinTom wasn’t the only star Patriots player to be in top form, Randy Moss apparently was running late, but managed to get his lunch and still make the flight, even if it was touch and go for a bit.

Randy MossThose fries look tasty.

[Boston Globe]


The Patriots Take London by Storm

The New England Patriots are in London preparing for their eventual dismantling of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Sunday. While the team has a strictly-business approach, team owner Bob Kraft, the cheerleaders and the mascot are gallivanting around town doing sight-seeing and promotional work for the game and the league. The Patriots Twitter feed released some photos of the team at practice at the Brit Oval Cricket Grounds, a bizarre photo of Junior Seau on the plane and even a great shot of Kraft and Commissioner Goodell in the British Cabinet room where clearly Kraft is sizing up his chair as Chancellor of the Exchequer. My personal favorite though is this shot of the mascot and some cheerleaders taking in the view from atop the London Eye.

Patriots Cheerleaders at the Eye



Patriots GM’s Wife Blasts Titans Organization

Floyd ReeseThe Patriots organization is notorious for their silence on most media issues, they don’t give out information unless forced to and take pride in their secrecy. So it was a bit surprising to see Senior Football Advisor Floyd Reese’s wife Sally making some emotional statements on a Tennessee radio station regarding her husband’s departure from the organization and his relationship with head coach Jeff Fisher.

I was here in Nashville, and I was listening…and I just had to kind of set the record straight, because my husband won’t. There was no fighting between Jeff and Floyd. I will say this, if pressed, that different people called us for months before and said they were picking sides…

So bottom line is my husband just went along and did his job and everything was just fine and one day he went to work and said, ‘Gee after 21 years we’re going in a different direction.’ Floyd still kind of didn’t get that. It was like, ‘What, what’ Now what I read and I hear all that stuff. My husband was totally oblivious. All he did was his job.

While Floyd was enroute to London with the rest of the Patriots he was apparently unaware that his wife was making the call.

He won’t like it. My son just called me a little while ago, and had I told him, he would have gotten through to Floyd on the plane. So I didn’t tell him either. But it’s all good. Oh, and the last thing when the statement was issued, when Floyd issued a statement. Floyd didn’t issue a statement. Underwood made it up. That’s another thing. I don’t know if that’s a lawsuit, but being a vindictive wife, I would have done a lawsuit.

He kept Jeff from getting fired two times. So if he’d let him get fired, he’d still be there. Hello? That’s hindsight. But you know paybacks — can I say bitch? — payback’s a bitch. Sunday I was hoping they’d run it to 100. And I love Tennessee. All you Tennessee people, my dad’s from Tennessee, but when you get sucker punched, you want to sucker punch back. My husband said it would be very uncool. He said, ‘We have to play them again.’ I said I only hope.

Reese spent 21 years in the Oilers/Titans organization prior to his resignation, which Sally claims wasn’t even written by her husband. I wouldn’t expect a comment coming from him (or Sally) anytime soon.

[Nashville City Paper]


They Know My Name!

Last night’s Patriots game didn’t go the way I expected it, but hey, who cares, a win is a win. Besides the most imp0rtant thing was the return of Tom Brady who, while shaky, did what he does best and told his teammates with 5 minutes left in the game exactly what he was going to do to get them their two scores. Then he did it!

Anyhoo, the Patriots’ friends at Gillete made this video to celebrate the 50th year of team. As someone who love LOVES Cheers there’s no way I could pass this one up.

My favorite part is the John Ratzenberger moment with the catatonic woman sitting next to him; could she possibly be more lifeless?

As someone who recently rewatched all of Cheers in order, if you haven’t watched much of the show you should get off your ass and do so beause it’s hilarious and holds up EXTREMELY well.



They’re Friendster Friends Too

The friendship between Bill Belichick and Jon Bon Jovi was on display at yesterday’s Patriots training camp and it always makes me laugh. Can you imagine two more disparate people?

What do they talk about? Can I hang out too?



Happy Birthday Gisele

gisele-bundchen-23Today is Gisele Bundchen’s 29th birthday, (we’re so CLOSE to having the same one!) and normally a story about her husband and New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is an excuse for me to post a photo of her. Instead, this time a post about her is an excuse to write a small something about the Pats.

This season, look for the Patriots to go 15-1. You heard it here first. For reals, this is no-homerism, just fact. The only thing that could derail the season is an injury to Brady, Moss or Welker, which, god help me, won’t happen.

[Moon Dog Sports]


Patriots Rookies Win Trivia Night!

TKT trivia 2of4.jpgAt the NFL’s Rookie Symposium the New England Patriots rookies, for the second year in a row, won the Ultimate Rookie Challenge. The symposium, mandatory for all NFL rookies, is intended to help prepare the rookies for the difficulties in adjusting to the professional game.

Throughout the three-and-a-half day symposium, which started Sunday evening and ended today, rookies were asked a series of questions based on symposium presentations and basic NFL trivia.

The combined individual scores of the Patriots rookies were the best of any NFL team at the symposium, which was held in Palm Beach Gardens, Fla.

As a reward for having the highest scores, the Patriots rookies each won a free 32″ flat-screen TV.

[Boston Globe]


Patriots Draft New Player With Direct Line to the Ever-After


Over the weekend Gillette Stadium, normally home to the New England Patriots held a different kind of visitor, the Dalai Lama who was in town to speak about Tibetan Buddhism, peace and happiness. A rapt crowd of nearly 16,000 enthusiastically greeted the exiled Buddhist leader although the loudest cheers were reserved for when he put on his brand-new red Patriots hat, a gift from Patriots owner Bob Kraft.

No word how the 74 year old fares in a three-point stance but he looks to me like a strong outside rusher.

[Boston Globe]

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June 2023