Posts Tagged ‘Hot Women


The Beautiful Surfer Girl Onslaught Continues!

Don’t let the her super-cute looks fool you, 22-year-old Anastasia Ashley is not just another pretty face, she’s one of the world’s top surfers. Starting from age 5, Ashley has been out on the waves and along the way she has won some of the most prestigious awards out there; she won the Rookie of the Year from the ASP and the Pro Surf Tour of America’s women’s tour championship at the ripe ol’ age of 16! She was also recently a finalist for PETA’s Sexiest Vegetarian contest which is almost reason enough for me to pay attention to PETA, almost.

I think I’m going to have to watch a lot more surfing from now on, because, seriously, these women are RIDICULOUS.


Hottie Swimmer is On the Market — Waiting for Me

Back during the Beijing Olympics, I fell for Australian swimming sensation Stephanie Rice, and I know that if she were to meet me she’d feel the same way. She must have sensed that because, since the Olympics and her breakup with a fellow swimmer she has been linked to several men but according to her, none of the rumors are true.

“Everyone’s always ‘Steph, you need a boyfriend’ and I’m like ‘I know, but apparently I have four’. Believe me, one would be just perfect,” she said.

Stephanie also added that while she’s busy with training and being in the public eye, that isn’t stopping her from looking for a gentleman friend. “I can definitely fit it in, that’s not my problem and I’m not making that an excuse,” but it’s not always easy knowing people’s motivation. “It’s hard to tell if people like the idea of (a relationship with Stephanie Rice) or if they really like you,” she said.

Well, Stephanie, despite having never met you, I can say that I’m in it for YOU and not your fame. Sure, you have worldwide fame, gold medals, sponsorship deals and seemingly you have it all, but without the proper life-companion, it’s all useless. Let’s take this journey through life together, let’s meet up, say halfway, how about we meet in LA?

Call me!

Also, can someone buy me a plane ticket to LA?

And the rest of you, stay away!

[Courier Mail]


Pour Some Sugar on Me

I’m really into surfing recently; well, one particular aspect of surfing, the incredibly hot women who do it. We saw young hottie Alana Blanchard in all her glory, but 9-time Panamanian champion Sonia “Pucha (Sugar)” Garcia can give her quite the battle; which is something I’d pay good money to see.

I mean, how can you NOT love a vocation where the women are athletic and hang out in skimpy bikinis all the time, it sounds like heaven to me. The 34-year-old Garcia has captured plenty of titles, and hearts, along her career, although none can be as important as capturing my attention. Let’s go out paddling Sonia!


Alana Blanchard, Too Hot for Words, Pictures Must Suffice

I’m not as up-to-date as I should be with the latest happenings in the surfing world. For instance, I have been INCREDIBLY remiss in not highlighting the talented Alana Blanchard. The 19-year-old from Hawaii has been surfing since she was a child and winning professional competitions since she was 15. In 2003, while surfing with her best friend Bethany Hamilton, a tiger shark swam by and bit off Hamilton’s arm. Along with her father and brother, Alana helped get Bethany to shore and then to the hospital where she was operated on and three weeks later was back to surfing. So, not only is she incredibly hot, but also a good person too! And handy with a tourniquet which is always useful.

Even more useful, how hot surfer girls wear incredibly small bikinis all the time and love to show off their bodies. Thank you surf gods.


I’m Golovin It

When I was in high school I played on the varsity tennis team as one half of the #1 doubles seed; that means that I’m both good at tennis and play well with others. I think Russian-born and French-naturalized tennis star Tatiana Golovin — who we’ve highlighted before — should keep both those points in mind because, after seeing these photos of her, I can’t get her out of my mind-grapes.

Tatiana let’s just get together and hit some balls around, see what happens. Facebook poke me!

Tatiana Golovin 3

[Sports by Brooks]


What a Game!

Last week the Lingerie Football League officially began play with the Miami Caliente taking on the mighty Chicago Bliss in the league’s inaugural game.

So far, the product looks awfully nice…



Those Uniforms Look Stylish!


On Monday, Argentine soccer team Velez Sarsfield held an event to honor their 2009 Clausura championship and to show off their new uniforms. Learning from Linfield FC of Northern Ireland’s example, Velez didn’t use their players to show off the new unis. Instead they got some hotties! Much better choice. Although, I’m still left wondering what the shorts will look like, since these ladies seem to have disdain for them…

[Dirty Tackle]


I Have GOT to Get Rich

article-1203217-05E4694B000005DC-747_224x600article-1203217-05E4693B000005DC-973_224x600Flavio Briator is a 59 year old Italian billionaire who made much of his money from the franchising of Benneton stores spends much of his time these days involved in various sports. He is the managing director of Renault F1 racing and also is part owner of the Queen’s Park Rangers, a London-based soccer team that just missed on promotion to the Premier League last season.

He also looks like this (left). Last year he married 29 year old Elisabetta Gregoraci. She looks like this (right). He must be really funny. Or you know, crazy rich.

Sigh. I bet being a billionaire is pretty fun.

[Daily Mail]


Happy Birthday Gisele

gisele-bundchen-23Today is Gisele Bundchen’s 29th birthday, (we’re so CLOSE to having the same one!) and normally a story about her husband and New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is an excuse for me to post a photo of her. Instead, this time a post about her is an excuse to write a small something about the Pats.

This season, look for the Patriots to go 15-1. You heard it here first. For reals, this is no-homerism, just fact. The only thing that could derail the season is an injury to Brady, Moss or Welker, which, god help me, won’t happen.

[Moon Dog Sports]


Jessiqa Changes the Pace of the Race

As race organizers prepared for an F1 race in Monaco, team representatives requested that they remove an ad that was along the course because it was too distracting for the drivers. The ad, for Martini liquers, features Californian model, 29 year old Jessiqa Pace, and the ad apparently was too steamy for the drivers to handle.

Scottish former driver David Coulthard said: “The drivers have asked for the poster to be taken down because it’s distracting them.”

During trial runs, former champ Lewis Hamilton crashed just yards from the site of the billboard. The hubbub didn’t stop Jessiqa from having a good time though, she spent the weekend partying on a luxury yacht with the various F1 teams.  “All the attention is overwhelming,” she said, “I find it really funny. Obviously it’s very flattering that I’m distracting the drivers so much, but I’d feel terrible if someone got hurt. They’re all very handsome men and are very popular with the girls. There is one driver who I think is a cut above the rest but I’m keeping it secret.”

I can’t imagine what was so distracting…

[Daily Star]


Stephanie Rice Has Poor Taste in Men

I get that elsewhere in the world Big Brother is actually a well-watched and liked show, I don’t understand WHY, but that’s another story. What’s true everywhere though is that the people on the show should never EVER be considered celebrities. Even more true, the people on the show should never be allowed to be mentioned, even in just a rumor, as a possible love connection with Australian swimmer/hottie Stephanie Rice. So it is with much chagrin that I saw the story that Rice and some toolsy Aussie Big Brother guy, named Ed Cherry (fake name right?) have been spotted around town on dates, kissing and cuddling in facebook photos and partying backstage at the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice awards. First off, I didn’t even know you were allowed to party at the Nickelodeon awards shows, let alone that they’d have like copious amounts of liquor, then again, if I had to do such a humiliating type award show I’d probably need to be hammered too. Secondly, stay away reality TV boy, I obviously haven’t seen the show, but you shouldn’t be famous or known, please fade back into obscurity immediately. And leave Stephanie alone. Also, Stephanie, who wants a lame ass fake reality TV guy, even if he is a surfer dude when you can have a sports blogger? I mean right?


Stephanie Rice: Just Like Us

I must be prescient, I post that picture of Stephanie Rice yesterday and then BAM, today, pictures of her partying out come out. The world must love me. It seems that Stephanie and some friends went to Thailand for a weekend of funtimes and after agreeing to let some rando dude take a photograph of her Rice noticed that he kept snapping photographs for the rest of the evening. Understandably she’s upset because she is 20 years old and wants to be able to just go out and enjoy herself like anyone else her age. I agree, she should be just left alone, with me, on a romantic date where she is wooed. But, since the pictures are out there, I’d be remiss to ignore them. The Daily Telegraph, the newspaper that bought the photos fortunately also provides two other galleries with nearly 100 other Rice photos for our visual appreciation, so there’s that too. Since the Olympics ended Rice has been keeping busy, signing an $800,000 contract with Channel 7, and recently filmed her first segment for Better Homes and Gardens. Now, after having not swum since Beijing she’s been getting back into the pool and starting her training once more. “I set goals for myself in Beijing and some (swimming) times I set I didn’t achieve, so I am looking forward to moving forward and that motivates me. But swimming careers don’t really last a long time. I really want to continue doing the TV stuff when I finish my swimming career.” Sounds like a good plan to me.

Anyhoo, the galleries are here, here and here and feature photos like the ones below. The photos from Thailand in the first gallery aren’t particularly interesting but hey, any Stephanie Rice makes me happy.

Sigh. Swoon.

Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

May 2023