Posts Tagged ‘Boston Celtics

18
Dec
09

Santa Doesn’t Hold No Truck With Scalabrine

Boston’s favorite professional athlete fire-crotch, Brian Scalabrine is a man who lives in the real world. He doesn’t allow imaginary characters to run his, or his families life as this story from fellow bench-warmer Shelden Williams’ Twitter shows.

This is how he explained santa to his lil girls! He took his girls to the tv and said look at dora the explorer now she is not real

Shes a made up character just like santa! I’m not going 2 lie 2 u dora and santa are not real! I was like u didn’t kill ur lil girls dreams

He also said that he told them there is no tooth fairy either!! Kill all their child dreams early scal wow

[Shelden Williams via Red’s Army]

04
Dec
09

Blair Scores Basket for the Celtics, the Only Problem, He’s a Spur

Just because someone is a professional basketball player doesn’t mean that he’s mastered all the ins and outs of the game as yet. Take San Antonio’s DeJuan Blair, he forgets that on defense you’re trying to STOP the other team from scoring and decides to help out the Celtics and tip the ball into the net for them. Isn’t that sweet?!

01
Dec
09

Rondo Vs. the World, Who You Going to Take?

Boston Celtics point guard Rajon Rondo is one of the fastest players in the NBA, able to go coast-to-coast in practically no time. Chris Johnson of the Tennessee Titans has quickly become one of the best running backs in football, running a 4.24 40 time and just blowing past defenders. Never one to avoid a challenge, Rondo let it be known he wants to race Johnson.

According to Johnson’s Twitter feed

America needs to see this race! I hope this happens, we could soon see a whole new era of sports competition with super-athletes matching their physical prowesses against one another.

[Red’s Army]

30
Nov
09

Paul Pierce Gives a Facial and Then Takes Out the Junk

Early in the 4th quarter of Friday’s Celtics/Raptors game Boston captain Paul Pierce drove to the hole and powered a dunk down over All Star Chris Bosh. While going up for the dunk Pierce’s knee was at a weird angle and drove directly into Chris Bosh’s man-parts; score that 2 points for Pierce, 2 pained areas on Bosh’s body.

23
Nov
09

You Wouldn’t Like Eddy Curry When He Gets Angry

I’m not surprised that Eddy Curry got violent during his return to action for the Knicks, I’m just thankful that he didn’t eat Rajon Rondo in addition to punching him in the back of the head. To be fair, clearly Rondo deserved this, I mean, how DARE he try for a rebound. That’s EDDY’S ball.

19
Nov
09

Kevin Garnett Has Some Deep Range

In the waning seconds of the first half in Wednesday’s Celtics/Warriors game Kevin Garnett grabbed a rebound and, after a nifty spin move, launched up a 75-footer. The ball was definitely still in his hands when time expired and the refs rightly waved off the basket, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t totally cool. Because it was. Watch.

04
Nov
09

Rajon Goes Over the Backboard

Fresh off agreeing to a 5-year $55 million contract, Rajon Rondo and the 4-0 Celtics took on the woeful Philadelphia 76’ers last night. The Celtics ran the Sixers all over the floor, the Celts were kicking so much ass that their stars like Garnett barely logged any minutes; there simply was no need. One of the highlights of the game was this circus shot from Rondo over the backboard which reminds me of the old clip of Larry Bird doing the same.

Larry’s shot took place when I was all of 4, but I do remember seeing clips of it run constantly during Celts games and I spent a hell of a long time mastering that shot. For the record I fucking OWN that spot just behind the backboard.

29
Sep
09

Big Baby Knows He Can Dance

BigbabyIt took some time, but finally during the off-season Glen “Big Baby” Davis was resigned by the Celtics and he’s intent on showing off all his skills this season, including his self-professed stellar dancing abilities.

“I am very versatile – ballet, salsa, swing dance. I can do it all,” he told the Boston Herald.

The Celtics may have moves on the court, but according to Davis two of the worst offenders off the court are Ray Allen and Brian Scalabrine.

“Ray Allen is horrible,” he said. “He has no rhythm. But he tries, I gotta give him points for that.”

Scalabrine argues though that his reputation is undeserved: “Look, just because of my appearance and the pigment of my skin doesn’t mean I can’t dance.” Yes it does Scal. Yes it does.

[Boston Herald]

18
May
09

One Shining Moment

I didn’t expect the Celtics to be able to get past the Cavaliers in the conference finals, but I felt pretty sure they’d at least get there. I also wanted to see whether or not Kevin Garnett would actually play in the series, I still say he would have. Out of the miserable loss last night there were few highlights, but I do like this dunk by Rondo, it features everything you could want, a great pass out of trouble, a streaking Rondo and a magnificent finish over Dwight Howard. Solid!

06
May
09

Let’s Go Celtics!

It’s bad enough getting arrested, but having to hear that voice of what, I’m assuming was his girlfriend, is much worse.

Let’s Go CELTICS!

05
May
09

It’s Called a “Free Throw” Because It’s Easy

Rajon Rondo makes tons of plays on the basketball court, but his biggest weakness is putting the ball through the hoop; it’s partly what makes him such a good point guard because it causes him to find his teammates more and get them the ball. However, when you get fouled and have a free throw you need to sink it. Instead, during last night’s clunker against the Orlando Magic Rondo took a different approach.

01
May
09

I Can See Your Kidneys and Other Internal Organs

When the Celtics announced they were adding a dance team I was saddened, the team didn’t need it, Red would NEVER have wanted it and you know, they’re kinda lame. But, then there are moments that it is a good thing the team has these luscious ladies. For instance, say you wanted to go to medical school and weren’t quite sure what the female form looked like, well, Yahoo Sports (who featured this photo in their recap of game 5) and the Celtics Dancers are here to help, serving the community; the NBA where home gynecology happens.

86012980JG021_BULLS_CELTICS

Yikes. And thank you. And yikes again.

This is the lovely Alison of the Boston Celtics Dance Team, a real estate agent and former New England Patriot Cheerleader who has been involved with 2 Super Bowl champions and of course, the Celtics victory last season. She’s our lucky mascot. And possibly a future ex-Mrs. Slanch.

[Blaze of Love]




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

October 2020
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  

Categories