Posts Tagged ‘Boxing


You Don’t Need Much to Make it Big in America

Michael BufferMichael Buffer has been the ring announcer for some of the most famous boxing matches in recent history, he has played such diverse roles as “Ring Announcer,” “Boxing Announcer,” and “Announcer” in over 24 movies and television shows, and — here’s the thing that will really burn your ass — he’s made millions of millions of dollars off of a mere 5 words.
Now 65-years-old, Buffer has been THE go-go-guy for booming voices in a boxing arena. His catchphrase “Let’s Get Ready to Rumble” has been trademarked and made him insanely successful and wealthy. Since trademarking it, Buffer has generated over $400 MILLION in revenue, ranging from video games, merchandise, music and television. In addition, he makes some lucrative coin doing personal appearances — although you have to be a special caliber of sucker to pay money to meet the guy who announces the fight. In fact, Buffer actually makes more from his trademark than he does from actually announcing fights.
$400 MILLION!???!!
I will now proceed to light myself on fire.

Canseco Soon to Be Beaten By Wing Champion

203Because he always needs money and desperately needs attention, Jose Canseco has agreed to enter the boxing ring once more, this time against competitive eating champion Bill “El Wingador” Simmons (left). Canseco in three previous fighting matches has been knocked out by a former Philadelphia Eagle, fought to a draw against DANNY BONADUCE, and was pummeled by 7’2″ Korean kickboxer Hong Man Choi, so I’m sure Simmons is VERY intimidated by Canseco’s prowess.

The fight will be on July 24th although the venue is yet to be announced; I’m sure ticket prices will be low and there will be plenty of empty seats.

Simmons — who has won the illustrious Philadelphia Wing Bowl a record 5 times — came out of retirement in 2008 to compete once more, finishing in third with a personal record 205 wings eaten in 2 minutes. I imagine his farts alone can knock out Jose.

[Celebrity Boxing]


That Man Was Punching My Boy

In Helsinki, Finland on Saturday night, EU light weltweight champion Giuseppe Lauri fought Juho Tolppola; losing the match Tolppola tried in the 10th round to get a late punch in at the back of Lauri’s head. Considering he’d already been penalized for a headbutt, the ref signaled he was stopping the fight.

The local Finns didn’t love that and in particular, Tolppola’s dad took offense, charging at the ref before eventually being tackled by different ref.

Now that’s good parenting. I’m always a fan of when the family decides to come after the refs.

[Sports Rubbish]


I Promise to Never Become a Pro Boxer


That’s Manny Pacquiao landing the knockout punch against Ricky Hatton this weekend. I think it hurt a lot. Also, dude in the background, get off the phone!



He Fought Like a Large Mountain Cat, A Puma Perhaps?

sm_hud0322zJohn Mellencamp ruined sports for much of America with his “This is our country” travesty that was featured in EVERY commercial break of every sporting event for several months. That song was and is the worst.

However, let’s move past that to where the now former-Cougar Mellencamp is a proud papa cat of one Hud Mellencamp who, Thursday night, took home a division title in the Indiana Golden Gloves boxing tournament. The 14 year-old won a 4-1 victory in the 132-pound senior-division.

Thanks to his victory, Mellencamp will represent Indiana in the national Golden Gloves tournament May 4-10 in Salt Lake City.

After his victory Mellencamp was given a trophy and a big hug from his dad; truly he’s just an American kid, growing up in the heartland, doing the best he can.



Stop Hitting Yourself

Mike Tyson was one of the most ferocious boxers ever, he would deliver his fury upon opponents without stopping until they were knocked out cold. Tyson Fury, a British born boxer doesn’t quite have the same killer instinct, despite having a perfect boxing name. Fury in fact comes from a long-line of boxers and bare-knuckle brawlers, you’d think with such a family history that he’d be familiar with how to throw a punch. Unfortunately on March 14, in a fight against Lee Swaby, Fury threw a punch that missed his opponent but managed to hit Fury straight on in the face. Now that’s TALENT!

And join us after the jump for another angle of this epic pugilistic moment.

[Champions 365]

Continue reading ‘Stop Hitting Yourself’


Fake Boobs Could Ruin Boxing

Sarah Blewden is a 25 year old Briton who, after taking up boxing as an activity to keep her fit, discovered that she had a talent for the sweet science. Unfortunately for her, the Amateur Boxing Association of England won’t let her try her hands out in the ring because she has breast implants.

“International rules forbid anyone with breast implants continuing to box because of risk of damage to the breast tissue,” said Tony Attwood, chairman of the ABAE. “The natural breast tissue is pushed forward in front of the implant and it is this that is more at risk.”

Blewden of course, dismisses that as hogwash, also adding that she’d have no issue paying to repair any damage that might be caused to her delightful 32C speedbags. I hope this issue gets settled, although I also hope Blewden doesn’t take any blows to the face, it’d be a shame to see someone so pretty get marred. Besides, I’m sure the fans of boxing wouldn’t mind seeing an athlete whose enhancement isn’t performance enhancing…



Only 10 Days Left!


What an epic fight schedule! My only question, why do Canseco and Danny Bonaduce look like they are about to viciously make out in the photo. That’s not intimidation, that’s love!


Tough Tony Doesn’t Like to Feel Out

Tony Danza wasn’t always Angela’s housekeeper or the host of a crappy daytime talk show, before all that he was a boxer, and it seems, a halfway decent one. He finished his pugilistic career with a robust 9-3 record, having all of his victories coming via knockouts. Not too shabby. So here is a video of Danza taking it to some other schlub, in front of Muhammad Ali no less. Hold me close Tony Danza.


Boxing Looks Painful

Here’s a great image from the Ricky Hatton/Paulie Maglignaggi bout over the weekend, remind me to never be a professional boxer.


My Face Hurts

Vitali Klitschko is the new WBC heavyweight champion of the world, but no one really cares because it isn’t the 1960s and boxing no longer matters. On Saturday Klitschko fought Samuel Peter of Nigeria for the title, winning on a TKO in the 9th round. Klitschko may think he’s tough, but he should remember that a fat white guy taught me karate at the YMCA, so he better recognize.

Anyways, if you ever wanted to know what it is like to get punched in the face by a WBC champion, it looks like this:



He Was Just Being Friendly

I guess trying to be playful and get in the head of your opponent isn’t always the best tactic. Take for example this boxer who I think immediately regrets kissing his foe.

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June 2023