Archive for the 'Awesome' Category

04
Jan
10

So Long WordPress, It’s Been Real!

So this is it! Starting today (hopefully) our new site is LIVE! Our move to the Bloguin family of blogs has been finalized and alas, our days on WordPress are over. I’ve enjoyed my time here, but there comes a point where all boys have to become men, and today is the Slanch Report’s bar mitzvah.

Don’t shed any tears though, our new site has an incredibly sick new design, plenty of fun exciting features and is going to revolutionize the way we blog, and the way everyone else does too.

Please check your bookmarks and update them if need be, the site’s address will remain Slanchreport.com, and these archives will remain, in perpetuity for your perusal, they are also available through the new site as well, so check it out.

A lot of exciting changes are going to be happening for the Slanch Report starting now, so jump on board as we take this little blog and turn it into domination. Viva the Slanch Report!

31
Dec
09

Johnny-5 is Alive (and Can’t Stick the Landing)

I don’t have a lot of an idea about why this video was made, but anytime we can celebrate the athletic achievements of our future robot overlords I’m game.

I’d just like to remind our future masters that bloggers can be very helpful in spreading the robot message and so I should be spared in the first wave.

[Gizmodo]

31
Dec
09

John Wall Shows Off His Inner Freestyle Walker

John Wall is the likely #1 pick in this year’s NBA draft, but for the meantime he is forced to ply his trade for the pittance that the boosters at Kentucky secretly pay him.

Despite all that, on the court, Wall is all business, and boy, does he have some skills. For example, while playing the Hartford Hawks on Tuesday Wall makes a hell of a steal and then goes for an inverse stall on the press table into a 180 jump back onto the court. Sign this man up for the X Games!

30
Dec
09

Green Man is EVERYWHERE!

The gang over at It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia have themselves a kickass television show and have launched a cultural phenomenon with Charlie’s Green Man character. Green Man has been popping up at sports events all across the country, they even have their own Facebook group; they’re the newest and best trend in stadium fandom in years.

Take for instance, a recent Canucks/Predators game where some Canucks fans took to heckling the Predators players when they entered the penalty box. I don’t think the Preds appreciated the moment.

30
Dec
09

Your New Year’s Resolutions are Lame Next to This Guy’s

With New Year’s fast approaching, people are making resolutions left and right, take Martin Parnell, a semi-retired Calgary mining engineer has made quite a unique one.

Starting 9 am, January 1st, Parnell will be out on the road and starting his first marathon of the year — the first of 250 that he intends to run in 2010.

5 days a week Parnell will be on the roads, taking off only Fridays and Saturdays for rest. This wasn’t Parnell’s first plan though, initially he intended to run 365 marathons but after seeing his doctor — a mountaineer who has climbed Everest — the 54-year-old was told he should cut his plans back a bit, thus settling on the mere 250 marathons instead.

His goal is to raise $250,000 for a charity called Right to Play, “an international humanitarian organization that uses sports and play programs to improve health, develop life skills and foster peace for children in developing countries. It also has programs in 4,500 schools in Canada.”

Parnell only took up running seven years ago after his older brother challenged him to a marathon, within 6 months he was qualifying for the Toronto Marathon and then the Boston Marathon, which he ran for the first time in 2004.

“Obviously, I liked it and I just kept going,” he said.

Twelve of the 250 marathons will be official races, in places like Calgary, Boston and Vancouver, but the rest will be on the certified marathon course near his home. Parnell will be sending real-time data tracking his location, speed and heart rate to his website, marathonquest250.com along his nearly 7,000 mile journey.

“I kind of like challenges where I don’t know if I can do this,” Parnell said, “I think it can be done. And I like that.”

[Calgary Herald]

30
Dec
09

The Whale Returns to Connecticut!

Over the last 6 years there have been four different attempts to get a minor league hockey franchise established in Danbury, Connecticut, the latest venture though looks to be the most secure; Tuesday the nascent Federal Hockey League unveiled one of the new franchises, the Danbury Whalers. The Whale is BACK!

While the other attempts at hockey failed in Danbury, the Whalers intend to stick around, showing confidence in their venture by signing a 10-year lease with the Danbury Arena. The previous team, the Danbury Mad Hatters signed a mere 5-year lease a year ago in what turned out to be the one and only season.

“I know you guys have seen a couple teams come in and out of here, a couple teams come and go. Our goal is not to have that happen. Our goal is that will not happen,” said Rich Lisk, the FHL’s executive vice president in charge of marketing business development. “We will be here for the next 20 or 30 years.”

The new-look Whalers will be awfully familiar to the fans of the original NHL franchise which bolted for greener pastures in 1997 to Charlotte. The team’s colors will be green and blue, the logo is a near-ringer for he old one and team officials announced that “Brass Bonanza”  the Whalers theme song will be played at all games.

While 4 teams have failed in recent years, one thing has remained, the passion of the Danbury hockey fans. Ira Schwartz, a local hockey fan who was in attendance at the opening press conference proudly proclaimed: “This is going to be the worst place for a visiting team to play again. Hell is back.”

[News Times]

30
Dec
09

The Cavs Fly High Over the Hawks

Whenever LeBron is playing there’s always a strong chance of seeing something incredible; last night’s Hawks/Cavs game featured two such plays! First comes his Highness himself, LeBron taking one hard to the hoop and slamming one down right before the buzzer for the half.

Then late in the 4th quarter noted handgun owner Delonte West drives over the outstretched arms of Josh Smith to score 2 points the fun way. Fortunately, this explosion from Delonte doesn’t require police involvement.

24
Dec
09

Deron Williams is Really Good at Basketball

Chris Paul, Steve Nash and even Rajon Rondo seem to garner more headlines than Utah’s Deron Williams, but that’s OK, he continues to be one of the best point guards in the league, quietly going about his business up in Salt Lake City. Take for instance, this kickass crossover he lays on Dwyane Wade before he just SLAMS one down over the Heat defense. That’s the play of a superstar.

What is less than inspiring is how Wade just completely gives up on the play almost instantly. That’s some fine hustle there Dwyane.

22
Dec
09

The Beautiful Surfer Girl Onslaught Continues!

Don’t let the her super-cute looks fool you, 22-year-old Anastasia Ashley is not just another pretty face, she’s one of the world’s top surfers. Starting from age 5, Ashley has been out on the waves and along the way she has won some of the most prestigious awards out there; she won the Rookie of the Year from the ASP and the Pro Surf Tour of America’s women’s tour championship at the ripe ol’ age of 16! She was also recently a finalist for PETA’s Sexiest Vegetarian contest which is almost reason enough for me to pay attention to PETA, almost.

I think I’m going to have to watch a lot more surfing from now on, because, seriously, these women are RIDICULOUS.

22
Dec
09

The Suns Want to Do it All Night Long

For a shaggy-haired Canadian, Steve Nash seems like a pretty fun guy, whether he’s tandem biking, shooting movie trailers with Shaq or helping out Letterman, he always seems to be having a good time. The other night on the team bus, Leandro Barbosa, with Steve Nash on the camera gets the whole Phoenix Suns team to band together to sing Lionel Ritchie’s classic, All Night Long,” how fraternal!

22
Dec
09

Step 1: Buy Ferrari, Step 2: Pay Yearly Insurance Rate Equal to Cost of Car

Andy Murray is a 22-year-old Scottish tennis star who living a pretty standard early 20s existence. For instance, his super-cute now ex-girlfriend Kim Sears broke up with Murray in November because she was tired of him playing video games 7 hours a day.

Now, a mere 5 months after passing his driver’s test Murray, the world’s #4 ranked player, decided he wanted to buy himself a used car — partly to get over his recent breakup. Like most of us buying our first cars, he wanted to get a good deal, and so, obviously, he bought a Ferrari. He DID get a good deal on the car, paying nearly £50,000 less than the cost of a new supercar, but is probably in line for a big shock when he gets his first insurance bill.

That’s because, being a new driver, under 25-years-old, newly qualified to drive a high-performance auto and a celebrity means that his costs for insuring the car are likely to be astronomical. Murray paid £100,000 for the car and according to a survey of insurers, is likely to pay right around that sum A YEAR in order to get the appropriate insurance. Yikes!

Considering he’s already banked over £10M in endorsement contracts alone in his nascent career this purchase, and its subsequent costs, shouldn’t bankrupt the young star but it still is mighty exorbitant. But hey, he’s freaking 22-years-old, if you gave me that much money at that age I’d equally blow it in similarly fun fashion, so, more power to him. Enjoy it Andy!

[Daily Mail]

22
Dec
09

Johnny Damon Viciously Makes Out With 86-Year-Old

Hosting the WWE’s Monday Night Raw, Johnny Damon found himself  the center of some unwanted touches when he was amorously attacked by octogenarian wrestling legend Mae Young. He can deny it all he wants, but he wanted it; why else would he have dressed that way?




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