Posts Tagged ‘Denver Broncos


The Broncos Lose Their Biggest Fan

Every team has that one special fan that stands in for the larger fan-base, people like the Cowbell Man for the Mets or the Jets’ Fireman Ed; Tim McKernan, the self-named “Barrel Man” of the Denver Broncos was just that kind of fan.

The famous rooter made a $10 bet with his brother in 1977 that he could wear a barrel to the game and get on television. He did, and that launched a 22-year-run where McKernan, a former United Airlines mechanic, showed up at every Broncos home game in his ubiquitous orange barrel, orange cowboy hat and boots and little else. From 1967 to 2008, McKernan missed a total of 4 games, in 2007 the Broncos held a special half-time ceremony where they honored him, presented him a game ball and several other team presents.

Early Saturday morning Tim McKernan passed away of lung failure; he was 69.

[Denver Post]


Josh McDaniels Really Wants to Win the Matriach-Fornicating Game

I’m consistently shocked by awfulness of the NFL Network’s game broadcasts, they’re simply incredibly bad, I feel like I’m watching high school football half the time. Unlike MLB network whose game coverage is at least as good as the main networks, it’s as though the NFL has no desire to put any solid efforts into their productions or in making THEIR product look good.

The latest example was in their Thanksgiving Day broadcast of the Broncos/Giants game, theoretically one of the most-watched games of the year on the nascent network, it being a major holiday that for many families is centered AROUND FOOTBALL. After coming back from a commercial break they had a highlight package lined up featuring Broncos head coach Josh McDaniels talking to his offense who had just failed to capitalize on a 1st and goal situation. You’d think, it having been edited and reeled up they would have noticed that in the first THREE SECONDS he drops a “motherfucker.” Of course, they DON’T notice it, and it goes out on the air, they didn’t even ACKNOWLEDGE it until after the NEXT commercial break, several minutes later. That’s some fine TV production there boys.

When he was asked after the game how he felt about his swearing going out on the NFL network, Josh McDaniels, who clearly knows how woeful the NFL network is, looked completely unsurprised and merely said, “It’s the NFL Network, It doesn’t surprise me.


Ty Law’s Throat is Going to Get Sore

p1_tylawFormer All-Pro Ty Law came out of his forced retirement to sign with the Denver Broncos, and is expected to play, sparingly probably, during tonight’s game against Pittsburgh.

It sounds like his teammates are being a bit rough on the potential future Hall of Famer. “They’re trying to get me ready to play this week in a limited fashion,” Law said,  “…But right now they’re just shoving a lot down my throat…”

Yikes. I guess that’s one way to bring a team together, hey, it worked for the Minnesota Vikings



Broncos Back is a Different Kind of Diva

Flipping through the other videos from Topps’ “Rookies Got Talent” event that they held way back in July, I came across Broncos running back Knowshon Moreno showing off his operatic skills.

I had no idea.

I guess it ain’t over now until Knowshon sings…


The NFL is Back and Spectacular!

With a full slate of games on yesterday, the opportunity for some incredible football plays was out there. Miami’s Greg Camarillo and Denver’s Brandon Stokely provided the two best of the day. First there’s Camarillo’s circus catch where he isn’t able to initially corral the ball but stays concentrated and never lets it hit the ground.

Then, Brandon Stokely somehow, someway is in the perfect position to scoop up a tipped pass and take it to the house, scoring the game-winning touchdown for his Broncos. Even better, you get Gus Johnson on the call which means the excitement level automatically gets jacked up about 15 times.


Broncos Lose a Stallion

20090422__thunder1998p1For 10 years, at every home game in Denver there was one constant presence on the sidelines; Thunder Sr. the horse. Alas, the Littleton Large Animal Clinic reported that Thunder took his last gallop on Saturday.

Since he made his debut on Sept 12, 1993, in a Broncos victory over the San Diego Chargers, Thunder was on the field for some of the franchise’s biggest moments over the following 10 seasons; including appearing at both Super Bowl XXXII and XXXIII.

In 2003, Thunder retired from the game, looking to spend some time with the kids and eat some great hay. Although Thunder himself was irreplaceable, the Broncos went on with a new mascot, Thunder II.

Thunder Sr. was 27 years old.

[Denver Post]


Up High in Denver, Broncos Hold Cheerleader Tryouts

Up in the Mile High City, the Denver Broncos held cheerleader tryouts, fortunately, the local CBS affiliate was THERE, making sure no one missed anything important. You too can join in the ogling fun!



Today in 90s Family Television

This weekend’s San Diego Chargers and Denver Broncos game is a battle for supremacy of the AFC West and the bad blood between these teams is spilling over into a war of words. A strange war of words. For instance, take this bit of trash talk from Chargers defensive end Jacques Cesaire:

They have bad teeth. They have bad hair. They don’t know how to cook. What else don’t I like about them? They watch Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. Who does that? Who watches Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman? That’s what I want to know. I heard the Denver Broncos watch it. I’m just sayin’.

I’m not quite sure how that is supposed to scare or intimidate the Broncos, but then again, Cesaire is a 2nd string D-Lineman who isn’t particularly good in the first place. Don’t worry though, he wasn’t done.

For the most part, I have no problem with those guys. Some guys might. I mean, obviously the quarterback (Jay Cutler), from what he’s saying about my quarterback (Philip Rivers), I have a little problem with him. But my biggest complaint with him is that he looks like Ringo Starr, you know? I’m just not feeling his haircut.

Take a look at Cutler sometimes. He has like this shag look going. I don’t even know what it’s called. I was just looking at his press conference the other day after the game. He had on this overgrown suit jacket. It was like ‘Come on, man. Let’s get it together.’

When asked what he might say to Cutler if he were to sack him, Cesaire responded with a one word answer, “supercuts.”

Teammates on the Chargers, like Luis Castillo were not in a rush to get behind Cesaire’s comments, worried that he might have given the Broncos some bulletin board material. However, I feel fairly confident that the Broncos are not going to be extra energized just because some scrub accused them of watching “Dr Quinn,” after all, Jane Seymour is a good looking lady, even still, and besides, that show was pretty good. I’m not ashamed to say that when I recently saw the complete series box set available at Costco I seriously considered getting it. I didn’t but I thought about it.

OK. I’m kinda ashamed about that.
[Sign On San Diego]


Travis Henry Needs a Bailout

Following in the footsteps of former Dallas Cowboys All-Pro Nate Newton, former Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry was arrested for allegedly distributing cocaine. Newton was busted in 2001 with 213 pounds of weed on a highway in Texas one year after his retirement. Unlike Newton who at least waited a year to get in trouble, Henry is precocious and after getting released only in June he managed to get himself into serious trouble.

Henry who signed a $22.5 million 5-year contract only last year was dumped by the Broncos who felt that his effort wasn’t commensurate with what they were paying him. Among the other reasons the Broncos dropped Henry was a reported drug test that Henry failed, testing positive for weed once more, likely resulting in a shiny new 1 year suspension.

While I’m impressed with Henry’s entrepreneurial mindset, does he really need the money that badly? Has he already spent the bonus money and first season salary he received, plus whatever monies he gets from being released? That’s just not fiscally responsible, especially in an economic downturn period. Then again, since he reportedly has fathered 9 children with 9 women, (take THAT Shawn Kemp!) maybe he was just trying to be responsible. Unfortunately for Henry, if he gets convicted he could face life in prison PLUS a $4 million fine. He owes at least that much to all the fantasy football teams he killed last season.

With Leather has a great update on this story and the affadavit on the arrest and it’s full of fun and interesting tidbits, like that Henry was going to sell 1 kilo of real cocaine and 2 kilos of “fake” cocaine, which was actually drywall. So check out their full story here.


I Thought it was Cold in Denver

Day 1 of the Denver Broncos cheerleaders’ bikini calendar is in the books. Now it’s headed to your spank bank.

Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

June 2023