Archive for December 3rd, 2009


Chris Kamen Gets Posterized by Trevor Ariza

I wish I had the ups necessary to posterize someone with a dunk. I don’t. Trevor Ariza of the Houston Rockets though, does and so utilizes them to come down hard on Clippers center Chris Kamen.



Win a FREE Copy of Tekken 6!

Through the magnificent largesse of the folks over at Namco/Bandai, we have FREE copies of Tekken 6 for the Xbox 360 and the PS3 to give away to two of you lucky readers. Because we’re just that generous, we are also going to toss in a free faceplate or skin for your respective system and maybe a couple other goodies if you act all proper like. The runner-up will ALSO receive a FREE faceplate or skin!


WE HAVE OUR WINNERS! Thanks to everyone who participated, but as in all contests, ultimately we have to choose a winner and here are those whose efforts were just a little bit better.

Our 2 GRAND PRIZE – FIRST PLACE WINNERS who will each win a BRAND NEW copy of Tekken 6, faceplates or skins and some other assorted goodies are:

Mark: A) Phil? Phil? Don’t you recognize me, it’s Ned… Ryerson. “Needlenose Ned”? “Ned the Head”? C’mon, buddy. Case Western High. I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn’t graduate? I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple times until you told me not to anymore? Well?

RowdyRoddyPaulper: A) I’ve got a message for Steve Phillips’ wife…I’m not just some random girl he had sex with in parking lots.

and our RUNNER UP who will receive a faceplate or skin plus a few other assorted goodies:


I have sent emails out to each of our winners, but if for some reason you haven’t seen it yet, send ME an email by going to the CONTACT ME button up top.

And thank you again to Namco Bandai for the games and to all of you for your wonderful contributions! We will have another awesome contest coming up next week that all you NBA fans won’t want to miss!

Continue reading ‘Win a FREE Copy of Tekken 6!’


South Africa Looks to Consecrate Their World Cup Stadiums

2010 is shaping up to be a pretty awesome year, the Winter Olympics start in mid-February, the World Cup begins in mid-June and nearly every major holiday falls on either a Friday or a Monday meaning lots of 3-day weekends for the working men and women.

In order for the World Cup to go off smoothly, the Makhonya Royal Trust asked to bless each of the stadiums that will be used. The blessing requires slaughtering a cow inside each one and has come under attack, of course, from the NSPCA.

The Trust insist that this is the “the true way to bless the tournament.”

Zolani Mkiva, Makhonya Royal Trust chairman, said: “We must have a cultural ceremony of some sort, where we are going to slaughter a beast. We sacrifice the cow for this great achievement and we call on our ancestors to bless, to grace, to ensure that all goes well.”

The NSPCA have not totally opposed the ceremony, wanting to make sure that it is done in the most “humane” manner.

[World Cup Blog]


LeBron Can Do Anything

LeBron James is an athletic freak, we can all agree on this; he still insists that he could play NFL football now, much to the chagrin of Saints tight end Jeremy Shockey. During a recent Cavs practice the team lightened things up a bit by playing some casual football on the court. Afterwards, just goofing around LeBron launches the football from the baseline and goes nothing but net. Is there ANYTHING he can’t do on a basketball court?


The Milwaukee Wave Need You to Make a New Mascot

The Milwaukee Wave are the oldest continually soccer franchise in North America; the indoor soccer team has been in existence since 1984 (what a tradition!) and despite their geographically inappropriate name they have 4 championships in their glorious history. The team’s mascot, Brad Beach (left) has proven to be unpopular with the fans, and fraught with problems,  for instance, the current mascot cannot see particularly well out of the headpiece and children find him (understandably) terrifying.

So the Wave are holding a design contest for either a newer, less awful version of Brad or a completely new character. The winner will receive  a $500 prize and will be feted as the team’s VIP for a day.

I expect all my artistic and/or autistic readers out there to participate in this. Just remember, a Slanch mascot would ALWAYS be a hit with the fans.

[Milwaukee Wave]


Nice Hands Coach!

I have zero idea of the context of this video, all I know is that when a trophy gets tossed to — presumably — the coach, it instead hits her in the face. Because I am not the one being hurt, I find this endlessly amusing. I think you will too.


The Bills Try to Erase Dick Jauron

The Buffalo Bills fired head coach Dick Jauron on November 17, but the week before they took their team photo. Wanting to cleanse themselves of that period, they photoshopped Jauron out of the photo. In order to do so though they had to make some strange moves.

I mean, it’s no big deal, Jauron WAS fired and I can see the team wanting to move on, and presumably most people would never notice this. But I’m on the Internet a lot, and that’s how I came across the bit of detective work done by Josh Fitz, a Buffalo Bills fan and message board poster. Here’s some of his evidence:

1. Xavier Oman (#44) is in the photo. He was waived on 11/11. Jauron wasn’t fired until 11/17. This photo couldn’t have been taken after his firing.
2. Ralph and Brandon seem to be a little off-center. It seems that the logical place for Dick to be standing is right next to Ralph, where the three would be perfectly centered in the photo.
3. Who is in that spot? Jairus Byrd. And he seems larger than normal. In the photo he looks slightly taller than #29 next to him (Drayton Florence). Except Byrd is listed at 5′ 10″ and Florence is 6′ 0″. (That arm just ain’t natural; unless you’re this guy…)
4. Take a look at #29’s right ear. He seems to have some extra pixel’s… either that, or Kawika Mitchell has a seriously weird forearm.

[Two Bills]

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Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

December 2009