Posts Tagged ‘Milwaukee Brewers


Welcome Back Chris!

08FAs part of some organizational restructuring, the Milwaukee Brewers sent struggling shortstop JJ Hardy to Triple-A, released third baseman Bill Hall and fired pitching coach Bill Castro. Having been with the big league club since 1992, through multiple anemic managers, Castro had outlasted everyone, until today. He’ll be replaced on the bench by Triple-A pitching coach, former Brewer “great” and owner of one of the more improbable no-hitters in MLB history, Chris Bosio.

Quite the interesting move for a team trying to contend for a playoff spot. Dropping a shortstop who has 50+ HRs over the last 2 seasons is quite a gamble, regardless of how well prospect Alcides Escobar has been playing.

Then again, this is the same team that appeared out of nowhere to grab CC Sabathia and fired their manager with only 12 games remaining in the season en route to their first playoffs appearance in 26 years. I guess, in Doug Melvin we trust?


Heads Up!


This picture tickles me; it has it all, the weird Seinfeld-looking guy in the middle, Palesy McScared Face, old Braves fan who looks like Rip Torn, Mr. Tough in the yellow shirt and of course, all the way at the top, Anxious Fred.

(If you’re one of those people who wants to know the details, the photo information is here.)


Here’s to You Mom!

Ah Mother’s Day, a time when you can rightfully celebrate Mom for all the good things she does and has done for you throughout your life. Or, if you’re this Brewers fan, you get rowdily drunk, forcing Milwaukee’s Best to come take you away in handcuffs. Of course, it being Mother’s Day, you can’t get arrested without first dropping your pants and making your own attempt to get in on the sausage race.

[Homer Derby]


Home Runs Make Bernie Brewer Wet

6a00d834515db069e200e55035d00c8834-640wiWhen the Milwaukee Brewers moved to their new digs at Miller Park, they left behind Bernie Brewer’s beer mug which he would slide down into following a home team long-ball. As a local columnist said at the time,

It is a sign of our politically correct times that in a city known for beer, playing for a team named the Brewers, in a stadium named after a major beer maker that team officials decided that a fellow sliding into a mug of beer was unacceptable behavior.

Now, in a bit of corporate synergy, the Brewers have made a deal with Kalahari Resorts where,

Following every Brewers home run, Bernie Brewer will make a splash in the new “Kalahari Splash Zone.” When he lands, that will set off an explosion of water into the air. This year, fans sitting nearby will stay relatively dry because the water cannons set up near Bernie’s hangout are designed to send up a mist.

But next year, the Brewers say they might “turn it up” a little and send more water into the air, not unlike the effect of a waterpark.

“We reserve the right to amp up the effect (next year),” Rick Schlesinger, executive vice president for business operations, said at a Miller Park press conference at home plate.

I think all the fans would rather a cannon of beer was shot into the air instead. It is Milwaukee after all, I mean, what else is there to do but drink until you forget?



He Must Have Been Lying About Something

pantsFresh off winning their 17th straight game against the Pittsburgh Pirates, you could say the Milwaukee Brewers are on something of a hot streak, which is usually a good thing; for Ed Seder, the first base coach though, not so much.

While standing in the dugout, Seder ventured too close to the portable heater unit at the end of the dugout. As the team was rallying in the 8th inning against the Buccos, Brewers pitcher Jeff Suppan smelled something amiss. “Somebody’s burning!'” Sedar recalled Suppan saying. “Luckily, I wear two pairs of socks. It had just started on the second pair of socks when ‘Soup’ said he smelled something.” The something was Seder’s pants catching on fire.

“I probably would have felt it,” Sedar shrugged. “The worst part is that I was thinking earlier, ‘That’s a little dangerous.’ I guess it’s funny that it happened to me.”

Seder went back into the clubhouse, put a new pair of pants on and came out in time to see the Brewers take the lead in the 9th inning en route to another victory.

[Brew Beat]


How Mommy and Daddy Met

Corey Hart jacked a home run yesterday off Danny Haren but the real hero of the play was an alert fan who tracked the ball off the bat and makes a great play on the grassy knoll. The ball gets knocked out of his glove by the ground, but the fan manages to do the more important thing, saving the bikini’d hottie who was sunbathing from getting an unexpected ball to the face.

This is how romance starts; reminds me of the end of the cinema classic, Speed.

Sandra Bullock: You didn’t leave me. I can’t believe it. You didn’t leave me.
Keanu Reeves: Didn’t have anywhere to be just then. I have to warn you; I’ve heard relationships…based on intense experiences never work.
SB: OK…we’ll have to base it on sex, then.
KR: Whatever you say, ma’am.

[Busted Coverage]


Hero Pilot to Rescue Brewers Before They Crash

After their plane crash landed in the Hudson River, the flight crew has been feted, celebrated and honored from the captain getting an invite to the inauguration to a special cocktail being made in his honor and now, even the co-pilot gets to get in on the fun. Jeff Skiles, the flight’s first officer and a Wisconsin native will throw the first pitch at the home opener for the Milwaukee Brewers.

“Jeff Skiles is a great representative of the state of Wisconsin,” said Rick Schlesinger, the team’s executive vice president for business operations. “We are honored to have Jeff throw out the first pitch on Opening Day.”

Seeing that the Brewers just resigned Eric Gagne, who did his absolute best to singlehandedly prevent the Brewers from reaching the playoffs, depending on how good Skiles’ pitch is maybe they should sign him for the bullpen too. Hell, I’m sure he throws faster than Trevor Hoffman…

Also, what other professions can you think of besides State Police officers, airline pilots and 70s porn stars can you think of that still rock the mustache as a group?

[JS Online]


Brewers Fans Have Suffered For Too Long

You might remember the Brewers fans last year who pledged to pee their pants if the team could actually make the playoffs for the first time since 1982. Or maybe you don’t well, regardless, after yesterday’s victory and subsequent Mets loss, the Brewers were IN, and “Brewers Mike” the creator of lived up to his promise. Joining him so far are another 7206 crazed Brewers fans. To be fair, it’s unclear how many of these fans would have peed their pants irrespective of the outcome thanks to their weekly brat and beer intake. I don’t want to take too much away from the Brewers’ accomplishments and their fans dedication though, so, by all means enjoy this video, one of many that will be up on youtube as the fans live up to their pledge. Congratulations for now Milwaukee.

[Sports by Brooks and Pee Your Pants For the Brewers]


Who is Excited for the PLAYOFFS!

I know Prince Fielder is! What is it with the Brewers and the money shot, it’s like, as a team, they have the exact same fetishes. Maybe that’s taking team chemistry a little too far guys.
Anyways it’s PLAYOFFS TIME BABY! I’ll have my full predictions up tomorrow (I know you can’t WAIT) when we finally know who wins the AL Central, so long choking White Sox!


Corey Hart Gets All Star Bid, Daughter Gets A Beer Bath

Corey Hart was voted in by the fans to his first All-Star game and his teammates couldn’t have been more excited for him, deciding to invade his press conference and shower him with beer. It’s a totally awesome gesture and shows how genuinely excited and happy for him his teammates are, but they clearly didn’t think about that he was holding his infant daughter. Oops!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

I assume she’s fine, but if as she becomes a teenager she starts dancing on tables and begging men to spray her with champagne and beer we’ll know exactly where that desire came from.

[Awful Announcing]

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CC Sabathia and 50 Year Old Women Have Something New in Common

Everyone around baseball has been buzzing about the big change for Carsten Charles Sabathia; no, I don’t mean the trade that sent Mr. Sabathia from the Indians to the Milwaukee Brewers, that’s old news. At his introductory news conference, Sabathia had the media staff of the Brewers inform reporters that he prefers to go by CC, not C.C.

Doug Melvin clearly didn’t do all his research about his corpulent new acquisition because, when informed of Sabathia’s period-less preference, his response was a highly surprised, “Oh really?”

New teammate J.J. Hardy also goes by his initials but as of right now has no plans to remove his periods.

Continue reading ‘CC Sabathia and 50 Year Old Women Have Something New in Common’


Baseball is Amazing!

Last year, on June 17th Prince Fielder of the Milwaukee Brewers, hit an inside-the-park home run (video HERE). That’s pretty remarkable because he’s about 260 pounds and not fleet of foot. Today, June 19th, in the 5th inning, Prince hit ANOTHER inside-the-parker! Nearly a year to the day! Amazing! That has to be the only time in baseball history that almost exactly to the day that a man hits an inside-the-park home run, especially one as large and slow as Prince. Tim Kurkjian and Jayson Stark are going to be creaming themselves looking this one up!


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The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

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May 2023