Posts Tagged ‘Derek Jeter

08
Dec
09

Derek Jeter Gets a Girl Fired

Back in town, at least for the moment, Derek Jeter the other night decided to order in some food from one of his favorite restaurants, Nino’s Positano right around the corner from his apartment. After taking the order over the phone, the hostess at the eatery was extremely excited at having spoken with the Yankees captain.

She even convinced the delivery guy to let her go with him on the order; although he made her promise to stay outside the building. When they arrived there though, she grabbed the food and tried to bring it up herself. After trying to charm the doorman and yelling out that she was “Derek’s #1 fan!” the doorman escorted her out of the building, taking the food up to Jeter himself.

When Nino found out about the incident he wasted no time and had the hostess fired. Showing himself a man of the enlightenment, Nino told the NY Post, “I’ll take Jeter over that bimbo any day.”

[NY Post]

19
Nov
09

Jeter and Minka Take a Vacation Together

With his 5th championship wrapped up, Derek Jeter jetted off to St. Barts for a deserved vacation; while he should have traveled alone, he opted instead to bring his girlfriend, Minka Kelly with him as well. Doesn’t he know that she is supposed to be with me and not him?

The two haven’t been seen too much by the other guests but one enterprising photographer managed some shots of the two in the water. Ever the gossip-mongers the NY Post insists that the two are “coyly telling pals to be prepared for a wedding soon,” something they have touted with every single Jeter relationship. Besides, we all know that she would NEVER settle for him when there are sports bloggers available.

[NY Post]

13
Nov
09

Derek Jeter is a BUM!

JeterJeterNoted thespian Derek Jeter was down on Coney Island yesterday filming a bit part for Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell’s new movie, The Other Guys playing a part that’s a bit incongruous with his normal image, a homeless beggar.

Wearing a silver wig, a dirty stained jacket and torn-up sneakers, Jeter gamely faced the wind and chill in the air to film his part outside Coney Island’s famous Nathans Hot Dogs.

Expect him to receive an Oscar nomination despite the fact that there were a slew of candidates with legitimate range available.

[NY Daily News]

10
Nov
09

You’ve Got to Be F&@king Kidding Me

JeterErrorThe AL Gold Glove awards were announced today and Derek Jeter was awarded his 4th Gold Glove. 4, Derek Jeter has 4!!!! fucking Gold Gloves. The man who is a TERRIBLE fielder has won an award for excellence in defense 4 times. You have GOT to be fucking kidding me.

Now, I’ll grant that this year Jeter’s defense increased significantly but there is simply no way you can tell me that Jeter is a better fielder than Detroit’s Adam Everett, the Angels’ Erick Aybar, Baltimore’s Cesar Izturis or even Tampa’s Jason Bartlett. The guy who probably most deserved this was either Aybar or Texas’ Elvis Andrus (but he’s a rookie and probably hasn’t received enough publicity yet.) I absolutely give Jeter credit for working over the winter at his lateral movement and improving as a fielder even in his mid-30s, but going from the worst fielding shortstop to the middle ground still doesn’t make you good. Jeter still can’t go to his right, anything a few steps to the left is definitely out of his reach too, basically, you hit it right at him and he’ll get it, otherwise, all bets are off.

The Gold Glove clearly means NOTHING these days — that’s been true for several years now, since at least Rafael Palmeiro won one for playing 16 games in the field — it’s almost not even worth getting upset about.

However, the only reason I do get mad is that other morons then cite the Gold Gloves as PROOF that someone is good, it’s even worse than the people who think Wins are a realistic barometer of a pitcher’s ability, or RBI show how good a hitter is; they don’t! Gold Gloves are voted by the players and coaches and at this point I think things like the Cable Ace Awards are a legitimately more respectable award.

[ESPN]

27
Oct
09

Derek Jeter Just Makes This Too Easy

derek jeter SNL in DragWhile on Fox tonight the World Series will be getting underway, New York Yankees captain Derek Jeter will simultaneously be making an appearance on NBC’s The Biggest Loser. It only makes sense that Jeter appear on a show with that title, because I dislike him and it allows me to call him a big loser. Thanks DJ! BOOM! You see what I did there? See I juxtaposed Derek Jeter and being a big loser and then put them together for comparison, and Jeter turns out to be a loser! God I’m smart.

Now, Derek, if you wouldn’t mind appearing on an episode of Stupid Faced D-Bags Who Slanch Would Like to See Never Play Baseball Again on Spike I think I’ll be good.

Also, I would watch the SHIT out of “SFD-BWSWLSNPBA” it would get SUPER HIGH Nielsen ratings from my house, so, TV executives get on it!

[NBC]

19
Oct
09

A-Rod Gloms on with Both Hands

A-Rod Grab Ass“Stop running away from me Derek. I know we can make this work.”

h/t to Ben for the photo.

10
Sep
09

Jeter Takes a Ride on the Iron Horse

Derek-Jeter-Rookie-Series-Limited-Edition---Photofile-Limited-Edition-Photograph-C11837076Obviously, this pains me to write, but here goes anyways; congratulations to Derek Jeter. While I’ll never be a fan of the Yankees and you continue to be embarassingly overrated at shortstop, tying Lou Gehrig’s record for most hits all-time for a Yankee is a pretty awesome feat.

Unlike other Yankees, my dislike for Jeter is solely on the field. He’s the guy you don’t want your team to have to face when the game is on the line. He loves the game, he loves to play and will do anything he can to get out on that field. He’s the ultimate competitor and has enjoyed a phenomenal career thus far.

As he’s been getting older Jeter seems to be IMPROVING, he had one of his best all-time seasons in 2006 and he’s nearly matching it this year, despite hitting age 35 this season. Even his defense hasn’t been woeful this year!

Jeter will certainly pass 3,000 hits next season and, if he got the playing time conceivably could even get to 4,000 which is crazy. Now, I don’t think he will because after his contract runs out next season his years as the starting shortstop for the Yankees will begin coming to a close. With Teixeira and A-Rod under contract for the better part of the next decade, there isn’t an obvious place to move Jeter to on the diamond. Maybe second base or left field, but most likely he’ll become some sort of a 3-4 game a week player in a utility role. Regardless where he plays, Jeter will hit.

At the end of his games, that’s the last you hear of Jeter until the next day’s lineups. You don’t see Jeter on any steroids list, or a police blotter or in court for some silly lawsuit, off the field he does just 2 things; crush some of the hottest ladies in the world and think about baseball. I may dislike him strongly, but I certainly respect and appreciate him.

ed to add: I will say though that I am SHOCKED the Yankees have never had a 3,000 hits player in their history. I know they’ve had players who have reached that point, but never solely as a Yankee. In the end, this isn’t THAT big a story, but in my mind, anytime you get mentioned with Lou Gehrig it’s a pretty big deal.

09
Jul
09

I Think Jeter Wins This One

I was looking through some of my blog stuff today and noticed that for some reason, this post I wrote a few days ago never posted, so, here it be. Apologies for the lateness.

I simply can’t say it any better than the folks over at Barstool Sports did with this one, so, enjoy!

“Jeter vs. A-Rod Summed Up in Two Photos”

jeter arod
[Barstool Sports]

04
Jun
09

Just Say No to Jeter

FP_3064699_Minka_Kelly_smallGood news for those of you still interested in my desire for Friday Night Lights actress Minka Kelly; she ISN’T marrying Derek Jeter!

Of course, I thought they were already broken up so…

But, when asked about rumors that Jeter was out ring-shopping with Kelly he responded incredulously, “The what? Engagement rumors with who? I have not heard that.”

First off, there’s nothing classier than referring to your ladyfriend as “who.”

Minka, I would treat you with respect and class, because together, we’d be magic.

MAGIC!

[NY Daily News]

 

 

27
Feb
09

Derek Jeter Sharing Himself with the World

minka1Derek Jeter is taking his well-traveled body to a new target, a 22-year old FIT marketing student who has been telling her friends that she and Jeter have been waitingdating “for a while.” The young lass, master of being subtle has been playing his voicemail messages for her friends, also reportedly told Jeter that “she wanted a tighter butt, so he got her a friends-and-family discount to a gym he goes to and offered to help her work on it. The next day, she was telling everyone how sore she was from their workout.”

  • A) I’m excited because this means that Minka Kelly is BACK on the market.
  • B) Jeter and Minka Kelly were seen out together in January, this girl said Jeter gave her a signed ball (I bet! woooo!) for her mom for Christmas
  • C) Jeter definitely cheated on Minka
  • D) Jeter remains scummy
  • E) Jeter must have or at least have had multiple STDs right? When you’ve plowed through as many celebrities (and bar waitresses, and students and strippers and other rando girls) as he has you have to catch SOMETHING along the way right?

[NY Daily News]

25
Sep
08

I Still HATE Derek Jeter

Leave my Minka ALONE!

It’s simply not fair.

16
Jul
08

No One Wants to Be A-Rod’s Friend

Alex Rodriguez is a very popular man, his teammates love him and would walk through a brick wall to help him. That’s why when he threw a party at Jay-Z’s 40/40 club, none of them showed up.

It’s sad when no one shows up to your party and, according to the NY Post, you are left throwing back shots sitting next to your mommy.

Meanwhile Derek Jeter continues to torture me by dating Minka Kelly, as she came to his party at Marquee. STAY AWAY FROM HER JETER, YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH, LEAVE SOME FOR THE REST OF US!

Sigh. At least Alyssa Milano and I are still dating


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