Posts Tagged ‘Minnesota Vikings


Al Michaels — Master of the English Language

Jared Allen is a nearly unstoppable defensive force, we saw his power last week when he ran roughshod over whoever was put in place to block him. Allen wears number 69 because you know, being a middle schooler forever is important, was continuing to be disruptive during last night’s contest against the Cardinals and Al Michaels figured it was an opportune moment to teach the kids about mutual oral love.

I mean, he’s right, but it just seemed a weird thing to bring up in the middle of a football game. Must have been weighing on his mind or something…

Then, when EJ Henderson breaks his leg in a decently gruesome manner, Al who must not own a thesaurus can’t stop from saying break. Whether it’s an “unfortunate break” or a “rough break” or it’s time for a commercial and so NBC will take “a break,” it’s time for Al to learn some new words.

[Sports Rubbish]


Tiger’s Indiscretions Affect Us All

Lost among the clamor of the Tiger Woods story is the impact that this is having on the people around him. Won’t anyone think of Tiger’s poor neighbors!?! For instance, Ryan Longwell, the place kicker for the Minnesota Vikings lives in the same gated community as Tiger, they’re neighbors actually and since this story broke the coverage has been invasive even on Longwell’s wife and kids.

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Won’t anyone think of the children?

[Shutdown Corner]


Jared Allen’s Motor (and Mouth) Doesn’t Stop

I am LOVING the NFL’s recent practice of putting a mic on star players for their games and then releasing it a day or two later. One of the latest to strap it on is the never-shy Minnesota Viking Jared Allen who has been nothing short of DOMINANT all season long. This clip gives a real nice impression of what he’s like on the field. That man does not want to be blocked, he just seems to manhandle whoever is in front of him. That’s quite a load.


Gophers Are Dangerous When Cornered

During the halftime of Sunday’s Vikings/Seahawks game there apparently was a fun bit of play with some college mascots taking on some pee-wee football players. Showing that mascots are all class, the Minnesota Golden Gopher stiff-arms, trucks and just runs roughshod over the youths.


Gay’s Movement Rode Roughshod Over

Vikings superstar running back Adrian Peterson is a man-beast, here he takes on Pittsburgh’s William Gay, lowers his shoulder and just fucking demolishes the defender. When he was coming out of high school it was said that Peterson might be the only player capable of going directly from high school to the pros; this is a man amongst boys situation right now, he’s just too good to stop.


Vikings WR Accidentally Tweets Nudie Photo

Chicago-area favorite Sarah Spain — who we last looked at when she offered to bang Steve Bartman to end the Cubs curse — posted this bit of fun twitter information from Friday night. It seems that Bernard Berrian, a former Bear and current Viking was out to dinner with some friends having saki and decided to take a picture of it and tweet it. He even came up with a great caption line “1-2-3 SAAAAKKKKIIII!!”

BernardBerrian1aThe only problem was that instead of a picture of friends and saki he instead posted a picture of a naked woman in the shower. OOPS!

Fortunately for Berrian, he realized the error quickly and took the nude photo down, responding to one his fans comments that he might get fined for leaving it up Berrian said “that’s why I’m tripping, I don’t have that pic.”

So either Berrian’s account was weirdly hacked to have a naked lady photograph each time he posts a picture or he accidentally (likely thanks to the saki) posted the wrong picture from his phone. We’ve all been there. If I had a dollar for every time I sent my mom a picture of something inappropriate when I didn’t intend to I’d have 3 dollars!

Because he took the photo down nearly immediately and it was, seemingly an accident that will probably be the end of the issue. Unless one of you out there managed to save the photo and wants to send it here!



Well, Fan IS Short for Fanatic…

lobster-knife-fightAfter Monday’s Vikings/Packers Favre-fest some Packers fans were noticeably on edge. Ryan Hinderaker was one of those fans. Wearing a Packers T-shirt he got into an argument with a Vikings fan at the Leaning Tower of Pizza restaurant in Minneapolis where they were watching the game.

The two men “bickered back and forth” for a few minutes and after the game Hinderaker followed him outside intending to confront the opposing fan.

Being rational, Hindraker did the only appropriate thing, he pulled a knife out of his pants pocket and stabbed the other man in the stomach.

Showing his gentler side, after stabbing the other man Hindraker then called 911 and turned himself in. What a guy! He was charged with felony second-degree assault.The victim was rushed into surgery, but fortunately the injuries aren’t life-threatening.

The police made sure to note that the victim wasn’t wearing Vikings gear.

Police said the victim wasn’t wearing Vikings attire.

[Star Tribune]


Don’t Want to Be an American Idiot

Amidst all the hoopla of last night’s Vikings/Packers Brett Favre fellatio-fest was this one fan who came out to support the local KTSP pre-game show. Sure, everyone there is talking football but — and I could be wrong here — he takes the chance to express his displeasure with the rock group, Green Day with a shirt saying “Fuck Green Day.”

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Sure, you might think his shirt is saying “Fuck Green Bay,” and I agree, that would certainly make more sense; but I’m a man filled with whimsy and capriciousness and prefer to look at him as a very rabid anti-Green Day Minnesotan.


Packers Fans are Taking the Loss of Favre Well

favrefireWith next Monday’s game between the Packers and the Vikings, tensions are running high in Wisconsin. Former hero Brett Favre has been vilified in the eyes of many Packers fans and his treachery will never be forgiven.
To that end, a local Wisconsin sports bar, the The Milwaukee Burger Co will have a flaming barrel available during half-time. All interested fans can burn their Favre pictures, jerseys, posters and other memorabilia in said barrel. The bar intends to donate $10 to a to-be-named charity for each item burned.
Hey, if you can’t get over the loss of a man who you never personally knew by burning the things that you bought to honor him, you’ll never get over him.


Schisms Don’t Cause Burning When You Pee

While the Brett Favre circus continues in Minnesota, reporters have been asking various Vikings if there is a schism in the locker room with the-one-who-won’t-go-away’s presence. Noted intellectual Jared Allen had by far the quote of the week regarding the issue:

I don’t think anyone on this team knows what ‘schism’ is, let alone could use it in a sentence. I thought it was an STD when I first heard it and I was like ‘whoa, we preach abstinence in these parts.’

[Sporting News]


Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow

Here is Minnesota Vikings return man Charles Gordon during yesterday’s game getting munched after receiving a punt. Pay close attention to the ankles. Yeowch!

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