Posts Tagged ‘David Ortiz


Things that Just Look Right

Vintage David Ortiz, even if only for one night, that’s the Big Papi I remember.




Weiner Looks Like One Too

David+Ortiz+Press+Conference+eubpPAHUdX7lHey Michael Weiner, so, it’s your first major press conference as the soon-to-be Executive Director of the MLB Players Association, the site is Yankee Stadium in the midst of a Red Sox/Yankees series and the issue at hand is David Ortiz responding to steroid allegations. What are you going to do hotshot? What. Do. You. Do. Call me crazy, but maybe throw a tie on? Button the shirt? Run a comb, or even your hand through your hair?

What’s going on Weiner, you just wake up? Struggle with that tough choice that all men are faced with, leave 3 or 4 buttons undone?

I know it was 11 am on a Saturday, but really, looking presentable is too much? I’m all for casual, but Weiner looked like total shit at this press conference, meanwhile Ortiz looks stylin’. If I’m in the Players Association I’m asking “This is the guy we’ve chosen to represent us?” He looks like a random insane person plucked off the side of the street to sit alongside Ortiz. Seriously, look at that picture again and tell me it doesn’t seem like Weiner has to wear aluminum foil to prevent the aliens from listening in on his thoughts…



According to WEEI, David Ortiz is going to have some sort of response/answers etc to the charges that he tested positive for some sort of PED in 2003 later this afternoon.

Stay tuned…?

UPDATE: Now there ISN’T going to be a press conference today. Ortiz said he doesn’t have anything new to report yet. Snooze.


F#$K F#$K F#$K F#$K F#$K F#$K

boston_red_sox_mnv_01The NY Times (part owner of the Red Sox) are reporting that both Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz were on the list of players who tested positive in 2003.



False positive? False hope? I still love Ortiz, but if this is true…sigh…I don’t even know. Ugh.

No name surprises me, but some can still make me sad.

[NY Times]


Papi’s Special Sauce Will Burn Your Mouth Off

papi-art__1244575315_1941With a string of hits recently, hopefully on the field erstwhile Red Sox slugger David Ortiz is getting back to his usual ways; off the field, Ortiz has been blazing hot, or at least his line of hot sauces are.

There are 4 different levels of hotness to the sauces; Original En Fuego, Monster Double En Fuego, Off the Wall Triple En Fuego, and Grand Slam En Fuego, the fieriest, which is so hot that even Ortiz won’t dare try it. “I put hot sauce on pretty much everything,” he says, “But I like mild hot, not burning hot. Not crazy hot. It’s not about being a tough guy, I’m telling you right now, number four is pretty dang hot. I do not think a human being should try something hotter than that.”

When remembering the development process when he accidentally put too much of the Grand Slam En Fuego on his food Ortiz recalled “I got burnt. I wasn’t paying attention. When I sipped it, I saw flames coming out of my head.”

Considering his, er, girth, I think it’s fair to say that Ortiz — a self-professed “grill-master” — is well aware of what makes a good meal. Working with New York-based developers Off Beat LLC to develop the sauces, Ortiz has been tasting and testing different options for over a year and half until he felt that the sauces were finally right. The proceeds from the sales will go to the David Ortiz Children’s Fund, which raises money for kids in need of medical care in New England and in Ortiz’s native Dominican Republic.

Interestingly studies have proven “that the capsaicin found in many hot peppers can cause an endorphin rush similar to runners’ high. “Oh, yeah?” says Papi. ‘Maybe I’ll bring a bottle [to a game] and take a sip before I hit. See how that works.'” Maybe that’s been the spark that’s (semi-)awoken Ortiz’ bat!

[Boston Globe]


Some Thoughts on David Ortiz

Loyal reader Youppi rightfully pointed out to me that for all my (in my opinion rightful) hammering on the Mets, and in particular Carlos Delgado who I insisted was D-U-N done at this time last season that I have been giving the Red Sox and one David Ortiz a free ride.

Very fair. After the jump, here are some of my disjointed thoughts.

Continue reading ‘Some Thoughts on David Ortiz’


And Thus It Comes to an End

This loss hurts, but not as bad as 2003, or even 2005. Was I fully confident that the Sox would come back and win that game? Yes. One hundred percent yes, Today, I’m left with the AL champion Rays, from TAMPA, not one more Boston run to the championship. So it goes. When it came down to it, the Red Sox’ strength simply wasn’t there in this series. The pitching rotation carried this team, and in games 2-5 the rotation couldn’t keep up with the young power bats. When the Red Sox came to the postseason in years past, the middle of the batting order was fearsome, this year we were declawed. David ORTiz looked woeful and while Drew, Youk and Bay all were solid in the ALCS, none of them stepped up in the way that the Sox needed, like Lowell or Ramirez did last year. The Red Sox entered the ALCS with their number 3 hitter struggling, and without the #4 and 5 hitters from last year’s team, who combined last year for 18 RBIs. That loss of offense wasn’t replaced by the rest of the guys in the lineup.

Does that mean this season was a disappointment? Well, I’m disappointed but the Rays were the better team. They showed it during the season. They showed it in this series. That the Red Sox came back and made this a series after being down 3-1 and forcing a game 7 is testament to their team unity but it was clear that the Rays were better in all aspects besides the bullpen. When Andy Sonnastine is dealing you know that you’re season is probably going to be over. Continue reading ‘And Thus It Comes to an End’

Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

April 2020