Posts Tagged ‘Arrested


Pat the Patriot Patriotically Pays for Prostitutes

A month after closing a loophole in the Rhode Island prostitution laws, legislators are already seeing results after the State Police arrested 14 people for prostitution-related crimes. Up until recently, prostitution was legal INDOORS, but the state legislature took care of that fun technicality and made it illegal and all prostitution acts a misdemeanor.

Among the 8 men arrested was 47-year-old Warwick, RI resident Robert Sormanti who is one of several people who perform the duties of Pat the Patriot, the New England football team’s mascot. The team was less than enthused releasing in a statement:

“The Pat Patriot mascot costume is worn by multiple people, each of whom are held responsible and accountable for their actions. The individual in question has been suspended. The mascot responsibilities will continue to be fulfilled by others.”

All the arrests were conducted via sting operations through Craigslist. In the first one, police pretended to be a woman offering sex in exchange for money. The second ad focused on a trooper responding to other ads placed on Craigslist. In a hopeful sign of the economy’s recovery, one of the prostitutes told police that she makes $1,000 a day and business for two of the women appeared very lucrative. One of them arrived at the meeting place in a new Mercedes and the other in a 750-series BMW.

[Turn to 10]


Mattingly Spits, Not Swallows (His Pride)

20090722-232212-pic-900632050_t607I don’t know how or why it is, but ball-players sure do seem to spit more than the average person. Maybe it’s the wide expanse of green that makes them salivate more but regardless, spitting is an integral part of the game.

Growing up in the Yankees clubhouse, Taylor (son of Don) Mattingly must have seen thousands upon thousands of spittle projectiles launched. Now 24, the former 42nd round pick of the Yankees in 2003 was arrested Tuesday night for battery and criminal mischief after allegedly pushing his mother and then spitting in her face. 

I love family reunions!

The reason he was so upset? Taylor’s mom reportedly sent him a text message insulting his girlfriend and father. Taylor was also upset that his mother had canceled the cable at the family’s ranch where he was staying. Which of course, led to him flipping over tables and breaking windows. Standard fare really.

I for one am not surprised, I mean, I look at this mug-shot and all I can see is giant douchebag. In fact, I’m submitting this photo to wikipedia for the douchebag definition page.

[Courier Press]


Here’s to You Mom!

Ah Mother’s Day, a time when you can rightfully celebrate Mom for all the good things she does and has done for you throughout your life. Or, if you’re this Brewers fan, you get rowdily drunk, forcing Milwaukee’s Best to come take you away in handcuffs. Of course, it being Mother’s Day, you can’t get arrested without first dropping your pants and making your own attempt to get in on the sausage race.

[Homer Derby]


Mark Cuban Gets Busted *(UPDATED)*

Maverick Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has been charged with insider trading by the Security and Exchanges Commission for allegedly selling shares in the website company “” after learning it was raising private money. The move ended up saving approximately $750k for the man worth about $2.8 billion. From the Wall Street Journal who broke this story:

The SEC alleges in a civil action that Mr. Cuban sold his entire 6% ownership stake on June 28, 2004, after learning that was raising money through a private investment in a public entity, or PIPE. The next day, on June 29, the company announced the PIPE financing and shares of the company dropped by more than 10%. By selling his stake, the SEC alleges, Mr. Cuban avoided more than $750,000 in losses.

In a PIPE transaction new shares are issued at a discount to the current trading price. An announcement of a PIPE transaction is often followed by a drop in the stock price as shareholders anticipate their stake will be diluted.

Cuban, who was already a super long shot to become the next owner of the Chicago Cubs can likely expect that this will completely take him out of the running. Which is a shame because he’s probably the only likely buyer who could get Chicago a championship before the end of the world.

Unfortunately, Cuban was unable to use his insider trading acumen to avoid getting hosed on that Jason Kidd trade last season…


Mark Cuban, on his personal blog released this statement through his attorney:

“I wish I could say more, but I will have to leave it to this, and let the judicial process do its job…I am disappointed that the Commission chose to bring this case based upon its Enforcement staff’s win-at-any-cost ambitions. The staff’s process was result-oriented, facts be damned. The government’s claims are false and they will be proven to be so.”


Travis Henry Needs a Bailout

Following in the footsteps of former Dallas Cowboys All-Pro Nate Newton, former Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry was arrested for allegedly distributing cocaine. Newton was busted in 2001 with 213 pounds of weed on a highway in Texas one year after his retirement. Unlike Newton who at least waited a year to get in trouble, Henry is precocious and after getting released only in June he managed to get himself into serious trouble.

Henry who signed a $22.5 million 5-year contract only last year was dumped by the Broncos who felt that his effort wasn’t commensurate with what they were paying him. Among the other reasons the Broncos dropped Henry was a reported drug test that Henry failed, testing positive for weed once more, likely resulting in a shiny new 1 year suspension.

While I’m impressed with Henry’s entrepreneurial mindset, does he really need the money that badly? Has he already spent the bonus money and first season salary he received, plus whatever monies he gets from being released? That’s just not fiscally responsible, especially in an economic downturn period. Then again, since he reportedly has fathered 9 children with 9 women, (take THAT Shawn Kemp!) maybe he was just trying to be responsible. Unfortunately for Henry, if he gets convicted he could face life in prison PLUS a $4 million fine. He owes at least that much to all the fantasy football teams he killed last season.

With Leather has a great update on this story and the affadavit on the arrest and it’s full of fun and interesting tidbits, like that Henry was going to sell 1 kilo of real cocaine and 2 kilos of “fake” cocaine, which was actually drywall. So check out their full story here.


Boston Fans Remain Classy in Tampa UPDATE

So the folks over at Red Sox Monster got a video from a fan at the game of the guy getting arrested on top of the Rays dugout during the last Sox/Rays tilt. The video isn’t especially revealing, (down in front everyone else!) but gives somewhat of an idea what was going down. I particularly enjoy the commentary from the guy filming, “this is making youtube baby!” quite the society we have built where anyone with a camera or a free blog can write or post anything they want. Totally lame right. Anyhoo, stick around for more of the always illuminating SLANCH REPORT!

[Red Sox Monster]


Look What I Found in the Mail


Stealing can be fun but in the modern age it never ceases to amaze me that people don’t get that you shouldn’t sell the things you steal right away on eBay. I mean, you don’t rob a Picasso from a museum and then two days later walk around to art galleries and offer it to them right? You gotta space these things out, wait some time, let the heat die down. Doesn’t anyone pay attention to heist movies anymore? Clearly Richard Trofatter Jr. (left), a mail-carrier in Maine has no idea as to how these things work.

mathewson-christy-1915-cracker-jackThat’s because he swiped a rare 1915 Christy Mathewson Cracker Jacks card that someone else had purchased on eBay. When the buyer never received the package, he contacted the seller, who had purchased $655 in insurance on the package. The seller then contacted the USPS who launched an investigation into the disappearance of the package. What they were able to find was that the exact same card had been sold on eBay, from Maine, for $1,211 and the seller was one, Richard Trofatter Jr. Smooth dude!

If you’re going to steal, be smart about it. Scams can be, and are, quite fun, but only if you’re smart about it. Continue reading ‘Look What I Found in the Mail’

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April 2020