Archive for October, 2009

30
Oct
09

All Good Goals Require a Little Ass

Bob Errey on the Pittsburgh Penguins telecast wanted to let his viewers know what was needed in order to score a goal. It turns out the answer is “ass.” Now we know!

[Hot Clicks]

30
Oct
09

Aroldis is Enjoying His Tour of America(‘s Strip Clubs)

Recent Cuban defector Aroldis Chapman has a 100 MPH fastball from the left side and is a free agent, his agent is looking for a contract reportedly in the $40 million range. As part of the early stages, Aroldis is going around to the various interested teams in order for both sides to get to know one another. For instance, his agents took him to Boston to meet with the Red Sox and his trip wasn’t all business, at least according to some of the photos Athletes Premier International posted on their Facebook page.  AAroldis Chapman 3

In a strange bit of promotion, this time it was the AGENTS posting semi-risqué photos as opposed to some scurrilous blog. Sure, the girls are clothed (in lingerie mostly) but it seems to me like they took him to a strip club and then posted the photos on a public website.

Sure, he’s 21 and he should be allowed to have fun, especially coming from such a different culture in Cuba, but this seems to me like a bad way to advertise yourself to prospective employers. You’re mere weeks away from going from abject poverty to becoming a multimillionaire, keep it together. I bet Scott Boras saw that API did this and popped a chubbie thinking about stealing Chapman away.

API has since taken the photos down but of course, they were already grabbed and are now out in the open.

[Big League Stew and Busted Coverage]

30
Oct
09

Now Batting for Philadelphia, at DH

Your elementary school gym teacher, Matt Stairs!

[picapp src=”2/8/4/8/PicImg_Phillies_Spring_Training_e8d0.JPG?adImageId=7005572&imageId=4024427″ width=”500″ height=”479″ /]

30
Oct
09

Take a Look at the Man in the Mirror

Bakersfield Condors - Michael Jackson JerseysJust like it is in baseball’s lower levels, minor league hockey teams need an extra hook to bring in the crowds, usually leading to bizarre jersey’s (here and here) or other outlandish promotions (here and here), the crazy new one of the moment this week is from the Bakersfield Condors who are planning to honor Michael Jackson at their game tonight against the Utah Grizzlies.

Bakersfield Condors - White GloveThe Jackson-themed uniforms are pretty awful, but the really terrible part of their promotion will be the single white glove that each player will wear. The promotion will also feature an auction and a raffle and the uniforms will be auctioned to benefit the Children’s Miracle Network.

If your name is Michael Jackson or Billie Jean you’ll also get free admission to the game so, at least there’s that.

[Puck Daddy]

29
Oct
09

A-Rod Has Been Choking for YEARS!

This clip astonishes me. No, not that Alex Rodriguez in his final high school playoff game made a truly terrible throw to second, tossing the game away and losing it for his school, but that this is the first time I’ve seen it. I spend a lot of time on the Internet (you might have noticed) and this is the first time I’ve ever come across this moment. Success breeds success, failure, well, failure breeds further failure. Despite his torrid pace early in the playoffs, last night Cliff Lee just baffled A-Rod all game long. Let’s hope to see this trend continue, after all, they say people never really change.

Vodpod videos no longer available.
[Barstool Sports]

29
Oct
09

Ron Artest Blows My Mind

When I think of Ron Artest, I don’t think compassionate social humanitarian, more often I think of his many misdeeds on and off the basketball court. So to counter that image, here is a totally bizarre and weird rap video from Ron Artest for the women of Afghanistan. There simply aren’t words to describe this. Also, don’t adjust your screen, the video is silent for the first 30 seconds.

[Free Darko]

29
Oct
09

The Next Iron Ace Doppelganger!

Please make sure to VOTE in the poll below as well as visit the permanent Doppelgangers page to see the many other fabulous doppelgangers we have assembled.

Chris Carpenter was mediocre in his career in Toronto, but when he came to St. Louis he put it all together winning one Cy Young (and possibly another one this year.) While he has had some injury problems the last few years, Carpenter has been flat-out dominating when he’s been on the mound and, with Adam Wainwright, provides possibly the best 1-2 punch in baseball. Michael Symon is a professional chef who has been credited with saving the restaurant scene in downtown Cleveland, very impressive, I think opening a Quiznos might have the same affect. Symon also won the Food Network’s The Next Iron Chef contest, and has been on a number of other FN shows. Self-describing his food as “meat-centric,” Symon has contributed items to the menu at Cavaliers games, has opened 5 restaurants (4 of which are still open) and has consistently been honored by various food magazines, organizations and restaurant groups for his skill.

Loyal reader Shatraw spotted this one a while ago and has patiently awaited its arrival on the Slanch Report, honor him, and us, by VOTING in the poll below.

CarpenterSymon




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