28
Mar
08

The Roommate Speaks!


Our first guest blog entry comes today via epic commenter and fine human being “The Roomate”! Being a spelling prick, I made the headline to properly read roommate. Enjoy!

Well folks, another high school teacher was caught having sex with a student. This time is it was 25-year-old Heather Kennedy who teachers math at Wantagh HS in Long Island, NY, as reported by the New York Post.

Ms. Kennedy did it high-school style: in her car in the parking lot of another area HS, Massapequa High. After ‘parking’, the 16-year-old she was cruising with asked her if she wanted to have sex, and she agreed. I like how the 16-year-old covered his ass from a potential date-rape charge by asking his teacher if she wanted to statutorily rape him. Oh, laws!

While this may have caught the community, school board, and parents off-guard, the news probably wasn’t much of a surprise to the horny, willing, and law-abiding student body.
“She’s an amazing teacher,” said student Greg Malinowsky. “She’s willing to do anything with the students.”

Clearly she’s a total whore and everybody knows it! No wonder she’s so popular!

No word yet if the other high school was a Wantagh rival, maybe this will start a better, bitterer rivalry than football, foosball, curling, bread-buttering or whatever HS kids have rivalries about these days. The new game is: who can bang the most teachers in the other school’s parking lot? The bar has been set. Wantagh vs. Massapequa: GO!

I’ll leave you with this to ponder: for every teacher caught nailing their student, how many get away with it? Anyone out there have any stories? Feel free to comment without anonymity or please use full disclosure.


10 Responses to “The Roommate Speaks!”


  1. March 28, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    Actually, I have a few friends who grew up in the NYC public school system, and I would say about 1/4 of them said they had sex with a female teacher (actual number: 3 friends, 2 did it with teach). Every time one of these comes out and says he was molested or whatever by their female high school teacher, my NYC friends get really mad sort of saying that they are breaking a secret code of sex conduct.

  2. 2 slanch
    March 28, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    Dammit, where were these women when I was in high school, we had a hot science teacher but she never ONCE made a move on me. I’m retroactively feeling ugly about that time now… sigh.

  3. 3 the roomate
    March 28, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    I was intimidated enough by talking to cute HS girls, let alone throwing game at teachers. Also, the only hot ones were more MILF-y types than Just-graduated-college types, and they had their hands full fending off the man-teachers and raising their kids. I totally missed out!!!

  4. March 28, 2008 at 5:25 pm

    OK a few things:

    1. Slanch, you have no reason to feel retroactively ugly. Your teacher was probably sufferring from the popular misconception that gingers are the godless, soul-less, demon spawn of Satan himself, and wouldn’t allow herself to act on her attraction to you for fear of endangering her immortal soul.

    2. Why is it that when a twenty-something teacher sleeps with a teenage student it’s “wrong” but when Demi Moore dumps Bruce Willis for Ashton Kutcher it’s- well ok that’s just disgusting too.

    3. I don’t care what the age difference is- you can’t rape the willing. The kid’s dad is just probably upset he didn’t get a piece.

  5. 5 slanch
    March 29, 2008 at 12:19 am

    I’m upset I didnt get a piece, i mean, not of this chick, shes busted city, but i’ve seen some damn hot teachers who have been bedding the children and i feel left out.

    Demi Moore is a cougar. Cougars are hot, hence the lack of outrage at her joining at the loins with a younger man, (its just a shame that ashton kutcher is such a douche)

  6. 6 shatraw
    March 29, 2008 at 10:52 pm

    my high school art teacher went to jail for a year for banging a student (happened before i was in high school). but he’s a dude and she’s a chick, so employing the double standard here, that’s wrong.

    i did visit him in jail. that was weird.

  7. 7 the sister
    March 29, 2008 at 11:27 pm

    as someone who had to hang out with that science teacher on several occasions, trust me when i say you dodged a bullet — she was waaaaay bitchy and repressed. if she *had* made a move on you, she just would have laid there like a cold fish and then made you feel bad for not getting her off. you’d have much more fun with one of those lady golfers.

  8. March 30, 2008 at 2:54 am

    but still, i’ll never know… maybe i was the dissolvent that would have unloosened her… to get cockblocked by ones own flesh, i mean, c’mon, that hurts… all im saying is i never got the chance to put any thought into it. alas.

    frankly, we should have had way more hot teachers at that school anyways. in retrospect, i feel cheated as an american, a registered independeant and a devout fan of chocolate chip cookie dough. You know?

  9. 9 slanch
    March 30, 2008 at 3:06 am

    I have so many questions! When you visited him in jail was he continuing his art? What kind of prison was it (minimum, maximum, etc)? Did after he get out it seem like maybe he had spent time in a prison cell with Dax Shepard? Does he know Dax Shepard? Seriously? Because I have a GREAT screenplay that he would be STELLAR in. I’m talking Cable Ace Award good. They still do that right? Do they? Do you know? I dunno, I don’t think they do. Was the girl he went to prison for worth it? Would you have done the same in his situation? What kind of car did you have at the time of the visit to him in prison? Did you contemplate bringing a cake with a file in it for him? Did you contemplate saying that you meant to do it but forgot, in jest to him? And of course, if a train left detroit at 6:32 pm and was supposed to arrive in NYC at 3:54 am, at what speed would it need to travel if the distance were an exact, straight line?

    I expect answers.

  10. 10 the sister
    March 30, 2008 at 9:46 pm

    your questions both exhaust and amuse me.


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