Posts Tagged ‘St. Louis Cardinals


Another Cardinal Gets a DWI — I Sense a Pattern

Budweiser’s favorite baseball team, the St. Louis Cardinals are working really hard to maintain their status as America’s Drunkest Team with their latest infraction, scrubby third baseman David Freese’s arrest for a DWI in Maryland Heights, about 20 miles out of St. Louis.

This makes the 4th incident in three years where a member of the Cardinals has been hit with drunken-driving charges. Starting with manager Tony LaRussa’s blowing a .093 BAC and falling asleep at a traffic light to Josh Hancock’s death after driving drunk to Scott Spezio’s DUI arrest, clearly the Cardinals are taking this issue VERY seriously. I bet they almost thought about sending an email to their team and staff, and then thought better of it. But still, ALMOST!

The 26-year-old Freese was not involved in an accident, thankfully, but the police wouldn’t release further details about the St. Louis native’s arrest. He is expected to be a prime contender for the starting third base job in 2010.

I’m glad to see the team that plays in Busch Stadium and is sponsored in large part by Budweiser has taken a stand against drunk driving and alcohol abuse. That’s a bang-up job there guys.



The Next Iron Ace Doppelganger!

Please make sure to VOTE in the poll below as well as visit the permanent Doppelgangers page to see the many other fabulous doppelgangers we have assembled.

Chris Carpenter was mediocre in his career in Toronto, but when he came to St. Louis he put it all together winning one Cy Young (and possibly another one this year.) While he has had some injury problems the last few years, Carpenter has been flat-out dominating when he’s been on the mound and, with Adam Wainwright, provides possibly the best 1-2 punch in baseball. Michael Symon is a professional chef who has been credited with saving the restaurant scene in downtown Cleveland, very impressive, I think opening a Quiznos might have the same affect. Symon also won the Food Network’s The Next Iron Chef contest, and has been on a number of other FN shows. Self-describing his food as “meat-centric,” Symon has contributed items to the menu at Cavaliers games, has opened 5 restaurants (4 of which are still open) and has consistently been honored by various food magazines, organizations and restaurant groups for his skill.

Loyal reader Shatraw spotted this one a while ago and has patiently awaited its arrival on the Slanch Report, honor him, and us, by VOTING in the poll below.



It’s Time To Spray Some Dudes!

It’s clinching season around the majors and as teams finalize their playoff spots they take the opportunity to pop some champagne and celebrate. Now, I for one am getting annoyed, and bored, with the constant celebration, great, you’re in, do you need the champagne buckets? Super, you won the ALDS, why not save the celebrating for something more meaningful. Champagne should be limited to winning the pennant or the World Series, nothing else.

Although, it is hard to pass up ejaculatory-like sprays of liquor on a teammate…


At least the Cardinals just celebrated with beer, but then, when you play in St. Louis and play in Busch Stadium I don’t suppose you have much choice… I just hope that after the Red Sox clinch (tonight?) they do so in an appropriate manner.


Where the Cardinals Become “Obscure”

Nearly lost amidst an article about Twitter cracking down on fake accounts was this gem:

“Twitter has decided to act after Tony La Russa, the coach of an obscure American baseball team, launched a legal action over a fake account. He claimed that postings in which he appeared to make light of the death of two of his players had been ‘hurtful’.

I mean, sure, St. Louis isn’t Paris or New York, but obscure? The Cardinals ain’t exactly a company softball team either. I guess to the Brits anything not having to do with getting their jubblies jollied off and fliming the flozzle-wingdy just doesn’t matter.

[Daily Mail]


Khalil Greene Needs a Hug

7233From the papers of St. Louis comes this:

Infielder Khalil Greene was absent from the lineup for a second straight game Saturday after experiencing what the club hopes is only a temporary setback in his battle against an anxiety-related disorder.

So Khalil Greene is on the DL with a case of the SAD? I have to imagine that he’s having a hard time if it has now caused him to go on the DL twice this season. At the same time, I wonder if having your employers constantly announcing to the media that you have an anxiety problem isn’t compounding the issue…

[STL Today]


A Special Souvenir to Bring Home

I’ve never caught a foul ball at a baseball game, once when i was really young a ball from my then favorite player Wade Boggs came near me, but it hit off my hands and some older dude grabbed it and I got nothing. Another time at a spring training game a ball off the bat of a then Single A’er named Chase Utley rocketed towards me and my friend caught it, but that’s the closest I’ve come.

At the St. Louis Cardinals game on Tuesday one fan caught something even more impressive than a ball or crabs at the ball game, another fan! A man in the mezzanine level sitting in the front room somehow fell and landed on top of a woman 18 feet below him. Medical personnel rushed to treat both people before they were transported to a local hospital.

“Everybody was looking down on the ground between the aisles,” said John Goodman, a long time Cardinals season ticket holder and former EMT and nurse, who was sitting just a few rows away from where the man landed. “And the next thing I know the paramedics were there putting this lady on a back board. It took them so long to get her up that I was concerned somebody was more seriously injured at that point.”

The man was treated and released, but as of Thursday the woman remained in the hospital. With their reputation of being the friendliest fans in baseball, I bet the woman was very polite about the whole thing.

[KSDK] Continue reading ‘A Special Souvenir to Bring Home’


Bye Bye Buddy!

boyerbartonIn a boring bit of baseball bartering, the Atlanta Braves bumped Blaine Boyer out of their bullpen — and beyond the borders of the Big Peach — in exchange for Brian Barton of the St. Louis Cardinals. The beer barons of Budweiser who built the basically brand-new ebullient Busch Stadium, believe Boyer will bolster their own beleaguered bullpen; Barton meanwhile will battle for ball-playing opportunities below the big leagues — in AAA.



That’s Some Neat Footwork There

St. Louis fans are always complimented on being among the nicest fans in baseball, well-informed and passionate about their Cardinals they are also just good ol’ midwesterners and want to make sure you’re having a pleasant day. Unless of course you’re a Cubs fan. Even in January, with 2 weeks until pitchers and catchers report the fans passions remain inflamed, for example, here is a photo of the Cardinals’ stadium parking lot.


[St. Louis Post-Dispatch]


How to Tell Off Your Boss

Earlier today St. Louis Cardinals second baseman Adam Kennedy requested that he be traded during the off-season after manager Tony La Russa informed him that he would not be starting for the rest of this season nor next season. Clearly unhappy, Kennedy showed his manager up by hitting a first inning grand slam in the on-going game between the Cardinals and Cubs right now. That’s certainly one way to voice your displeasure. Unfortunately for Kennedy, in the end he still is a scrub and so one hit won’t make any difference, but regardless, it’s gotta be a pretty satisfying feeling to throw back in La Russa and GM John Mozeliak’s face, at least for one day.


Albert Pujols is a One-Man Wrecking Crew

In last night’s game against the woeful San Diego Padres, Albert Pujols made it his business to ensure the Padres will remain in last place for the present and seemingly the rest of the season as well. That’s because in the third inning, off #2 starter Chris Young, Pujols hit a sharp liner right back at Young, breaking his nose instantly and knocking him onto his ass. With ace Jake Peavy placed on the DL only yesterday, this does not bode well for the Padres whose sole strength has been their pitching. Pujols however was not finished. Later in the third, while attempting to score from second, he slid into home plate twisting catcher Josh Bard’s ankle awkwardly and he was forced to leave the game as well. Both are likely to go onto the DL today.

After the game Pujols appeared contrite, but the damage was done. Now the Padres are going to be missing their top two pitchers and their starting catcher. For a team who scuffles to ever score any runs and whose pitching must dominate in order for them to have any chance whatsoever, this is not a good sign. Next up for Pujols is the dismantling of the Los Angeles Dodgers, expect Brad Penny to have his arm broken when Pujols rockets one into Penny’s shoulder.


Maybe Not One for Milton Bradley’s Hall of Fame Audition

I understand that Milton Bradley is a significantly better athlete than I am, he is capable of agility and grace, and that he has accomplished many things at the major league level. However, Monday was not one of those outings.

Embarassing! I wonder what his competitors would say sarcastically to him after such a misplay…

I can just watch that over and over and over, it’s hilarious to me. And I do agree with Buck Showalter, it does indeed look bad. He just crumples in abject horror, justifiably so, scorched cow skin raining randomly from the sky, that’s something most people would want nothing to do with. (On a tangential note, I’m glad to see Buck Showalter back on Baseball Tonight, he gives much better analysis than any other manager they’ve had on recently and was missed.)

That was not all for the bizarre outfield plays this Monday, secret pen-pals Corey Hart and Ryan Ludwick combined together to make two of the stranger plays of the evening. First, there was Corey Hart going for an easy liner off the white-hot bat of Ludwick,

now, to be fair, Corey did just miss a great catch and then banged into the wall pretty hard earlier in the game, so while he should have caught this ball, I’m not going to hold it totally against him for being uneasy about the wall again.

But wait, there’s more! Ryan Ludwick felt bad, he didn’t want to have Hart go home feeling bad about himself, he just knew it would be reflected in an angry IM message later, so he figured he’d do a little something to put the hop back into Corey’s step. With Corey at bat Ludwick charged in on a dropping liner and–

Indeed that is nasty. Strange day out here at Windswept fields

ed. to add:

Great, so MLB took down the videos. Sweet, thanks MLB. I can see why you’d want to take down any ways for the fans to possibly enjoy the game outside of After all, why utilize the millions of users on Youtube, I mean, they don’t matter at all right. Sigh. I’ll try and see about getting them back up. Blame MLB.

I apologize for the shitty screengrabs but they’re the best I can do… it kinda works…

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June 2023