Posts Tagged ‘Surfing


The Beautiful Surfer Girl Onslaught Continues!

Don’t let the her super-cute looks fool you, 22-year-old Anastasia Ashley is not just another pretty face, she’s one of the world’s top surfers. Starting from age 5, Ashley has been out on the waves and along the way she has won some of the most prestigious awards out there; she won the Rookie of the Year from the ASP and the Pro Surf Tour of America’s women’s tour championship at the ripe ol’ age of 16! She was also recently a finalist for PETA’s Sexiest Vegetarian contest which is almost reason enough for me to pay attention to PETA, almost.

I think I’m going to have to watch a lot more surfing from now on, because, seriously, these women are RIDICULOUS.


Pour Some Sugar on Me

I’m really into surfing recently; well, one particular aspect of surfing, the incredibly hot women who do it. We saw young hottie Alana Blanchard in all her glory, but 9-time Panamanian champion Sonia “Pucha (Sugar)” Garcia can give her quite the battle; which is something I’d pay good money to see.

I mean, how can you NOT love a vocation where the women are athletic and hang out in skimpy bikinis all the time, it sounds like heaven to me. The 34-year-old Garcia has captured plenty of titles, and hearts, along her career, although none can be as important as capturing my attention. Let’s go out paddling Sonia!


Surfing on Waves Higher Than an Apartment Building

With waves as high as 50 feet, the Quicksilver in memory of Eddie Aikau was held on Tuesday on the North Shore of Oahu. Greg Long of California ended up the winner of the day, taking home a $55,000 prize while riding 40-50 foot high waves in each of his runs.

“I’m so happy just to be here, invited into the biggest event of big waves in the world with all my heroes, I’m so excited,” said Long.

In second place was surfing legend and one-time Baywatch cast member Kelly Slater.

[Quicksilver in Memory of Eddie Aikau]


Alana Blanchard, Too Hot for Words, Pictures Must Suffice

I’m not as up-to-date as I should be with the latest happenings in the surfing world. For instance, I have been INCREDIBLY remiss in not highlighting the talented Alana Blanchard. The 19-year-old from Hawaii has been surfing since she was a child and winning professional competitions since she was 15. In 2003, while surfing with her best friend Bethany Hamilton, a tiger shark swam by and bit off Hamilton’s arm. Along with her father and brother, Alana helped get Bethany to shore and then to the hospital where she was operated on and three weeks later was back to surfing. So, not only is she incredibly hot, but also a good person too! And handy with a tourniquet which is always useful.

Even more useful, how hot surfer girls wear incredibly small bikinis all the time and love to show off their bodies. Thank you surf gods.


Surf is Up in Hawaii, C’mon Down

Surfers from around the world have been making their way to the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii in the hopes of competing in the Quicksilver in Memory of Eddie Aikau event, which hasn’t been held since 2004. The event is only held in perfect conditions, and requires waves to be at a minimum of 40 feet high. With record surfs, this might be the year to resurrect the competition and so hundreds of top surfers from around the globe have been flying in to Hawaii. While the contest hasn’t officially started that hasn’t stopped everyone from getting out on the waves and letting loose.

And I have another very aesthetically pleasing surfing post coming later today that will knock your socks off.

*(UPDATE)* The Quicksilver will start today at 10:00 PST

[Daily Mail]


With Practice I Could Try This and Hurt Myself

Jordy Smith, a 21 year old South African pro surfer was off the coast of Indonesia when he pulled off a that called “the most high-performance maneuver ever executed on a wave”. The move itself is technically called a Rodeo Flip but I’m sure you already know that. I think the most important thing we can agree on is that surfers (and skaters) are some of the most articulate people in the world and I only wish that more of them were a part of our governments and think tanks.

Vodpod videos no longer available.



What Big Teeth You Have

Maybe I’m just a big wuss, but if I were to go surfing and there were killer whales hanging out right by the huge waves, I’m calling it a day, no matter how good the surf is. I guess that’s what makes New Zealander Craig Hunter and I different. Instead of being dissuaded by a large male orca and two calves he swam out and surfed for about 45 minutes.

“There was no way I was going in because the waves were too good,” Hunter said, adding that this was not the first time he had surfed with an orca. He said he was too old to be bothered by the possibility of being attacked.

“My outlook is they are big enough and quick enough. If they thought I was a seal, I’d be long gone.

“It’s pretty awesome. It’s a pretty special sort of feeling. I was out there on my own for quite a while and the big fella was just cruising. It was really neat.”



I Am Never Going Surfing

Jumping off the remarkable story of Spencer Trapp and his fortunate escape from paralysis, is this unfortunate story of an 18 year old named Peter Jessee and a freak accident. Jessee, a three sport star in high school on the soccer team, hockey team and as the football team’s placekicker. After his graduation, the Jessee family from Broken Arrow, Oklahoma took a family vacation to Hawaii. While on a surfing lesson with his sister Peter started to feel an excruciating pain in his back. “He carried his surfboard up to the beach and put it up and shortly he came up and flopped down just like boys do,” said Peter’s mother, Janet Jessee. “But then he complained his back was killing him.”

After a while he asked if he could get a massage but about 45 minutes into the hour massage Jessee’s legs went numb and he was unable to stand. He was taken to the hospital where doctors informed he he had suffered an extremely rare paraparesis known colloquially as Surfer’s Myelophathy, a condition that often happens to first-time surfers. The injury, caused from hyperextending one’s back, is similar to a stroke localized just in the back. According to wikipedia the majority of patients who suffer from it eventually regain their ability to walk but some remain paralyzed for life. Continue reading ‘I Am Never Going Surfing’


Look Out Kelly Slater

Not content with being the best quarterback on the planet, dating the hottest woman in the world along with being incredibly attractive and intelligent, Tom Brady has decided to up his cool quotient by taking up surfing. Out in Costa Rica with Gisele, The Big Lead came across some shots of Brady getting ready to hang ten, or whatever it is that surfers do. Of course, Giselle is along and looks simply smoking as usual.

So long as Brady doesn’t hurt himself, I’m totally fine with this, but seriously, you’re making the rest of us look bad out here…
At least I have my totally successful sports blog to fall back on!


[The Big Lead]

Bookmark and Share

(After the jump, some hot new pics from Gisele, because I can)

Continue reading ‘Look Out Kelly Slater’

Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

June 2023