Archive for April, 2009


Thank You Universe for Brightening My Day

2 kids doing a run the bases promotion at a minor league San Jose Giants game, you’re welcome.

My second favorite part, besides the inevitable collision is the guy who says “That happened yesterday too!”

I like people who keep track of streaks.

[Bar Stool Sports]


Christiano Ronaldo Gets SCHOOLED

Here’s Kieran Gibbs, a youngster on Arsenal’s squad just absolutely SCHOOLING Manchester United’s Christiano Ronaldo with a sick nutmeg.

You sir just got OWNED.



Meet the Next Man to Beat Up Jose Canseco

I guess fighting Danny Bonaduce wasn’t enough of a challenge — even though Bonaduce fought Canseco to a draw when they faced off in January — because Jose Canseco has signed up to fight 7-foot-2 Korean kickboxer Hong Man Choi at the Dream 9 mixed martial arts tournament in Tokyo on May 26th.

Jose is gonna get WRECKED. I know he needs money but there has to be a better way. Hong Man Choi is a GIGANTIC MONSTER of a human being and I’m terrified of him in picture form. Even though Choi doesn’t have a sterling record in the ring, neither does Canseco and Choi is definitely going to destroy him.


Does Vegas take bets on whether or not a fighter will die in the ring? Does it make me a bad person for even asking?
The fight will be on PPV, I need to scrape up the cash for it immediately.

[Fan IQ]


The Slanch Report Goes to Citi Field

Yesterday I finally got my chance to see my first game at the New York Mets’ new home, Citi Field; overall it was a good experience, I was able to enjoy the stadium, see the Mets blow an easily won game, watch Jerry Manuel completely mismanage and enjoy a tasty beer and sandwich. What more could you want?

I’m going to ignore the on-field actions, mostly because they were so miserable despite what should have been an awesome pitcher’s duel between Florida’s Josh Johnson and Johan Santana.

The stadium itself is gorgeous, everything looks great, the super wide concourses are almost TOO wide, but the view you have anywhere in the stadium and being able to look in on the action is AWESOME. The center field scoreboard is MASSIVE, not so much the screen itself, which is big too, but the whole structure of it is incredibly gigantic; I’d love to see it not SOOOOO covered in ads but that simply won’t ever happen so, so it goes. Loyal reader Myummers accompanied me for this game and we managed to get first row upper deck seats just walking up to the game. Here’s our view from our seats:


Of course, I forgot my camera and so was forced to settle with my phone camera for these photos, so the quality sucks. So it goes.

Myummers and I opted to forgo the not-ridiculous but still really long Shake Shack line and instead go with the delectable and short wait Blue Smoke. We both got the pulled-pork sandwich, take THAT swine flu and it was BANGING! One of the best pulled-pork sandwiches I’ve ever had, it could have been a bit bigger, especially for the price but it’s a ball game so…I also got one of the Blue Smoke Ale’s, their specialty brew, it was similarly BANGING.

The rest of the stadium is great, the food stands all had relatively short lines, the sight lines were excellent, the field looks phenomenal, all in all, I like the new Citi Field.

Some things to quibble with the stadium/game: Continue reading ‘The Slanch Report Goes to Citi Field’


That Seems Like a Lot of Strikeouts

2161241668_dee7dbcf68Samantha Albanese is a high school softball player for Castilleja High School, an all-girls school in Palo Alto, California, she also has some crazy good pitching skills.

During Monday’s game, her team eventually won 3-2 over Sequoia-Redwood City in 14 innings, along the way, Albanese struck out 37(!!!!!) opposing batters and threw a complete game. Pretty damn impressive. As if striking out that many batters isn’t awesome enough, there was an extra burden on Albanese; the international tiebreaker rule — which starts each inning with a base runner on second beginning in the 10th — was incorporated starting in the 8th inning.

“I had no idea she had that many strikeouts,” said Sequoia coach Scott Reynick when informed of the news. “I thought we battled well and made her work. We had some opportunities to get some runs across. She’s just a great pitcher.”

To prove she isn’t JUST a dominant pitcher, Albanese added in three of Castilleja’s five total hits in the game, including an RBI but she humbly takes it all in stride.

“It was as much stress mentally as it was physically,” Albanese said. “It’s hard to stay mentally strong. I’ve never pitched 14 innings before. Sequoia is a solid team. They are real good on defense.”

The Castilleja Gators are now 11-0 on the season and Albanese has 193 strikeouts in those 11 games, fanning an average of 17.6 batters per game.

Wow. That is AWESOMELY dominant. Take that Stephen Strasburtg

[The Mercury News]


This Looks Like a Bad Idea

Potato cannon? Check. Baseball bat? Check. Having your friend shoot a potato at you to hit? Check. Disaster? Check.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

[Homer Derby]


Joey Strong Drives a Teenager to the Hole

coach-joey-strong-786955Joey Strong is a 35 year old mother who volunteers every year at the Holy Name School in Ausable, NY, helping out with the elementary school’s girls basketball team. Her desire to help the community doesn’t stop there though, Strong was recently arrested and is facing charges for allegedly endangering the welfare of a child, first-degree unlawful dealing with a child and of course, felony third-degree rape, all this because she bought some alcohol for four 16 year old boys and then had sex with one of them. Yeah, that kid is MISERABLE right now, won’t ANYONE think of the children?!?

The news of Strong’s arrest was very surprising to her neighbors who featured such money quotes as, “It surprised me,” said Edith Beardsley. That’s some bang-up local reporting WPTZ. (Video of the report here.)

Jean Pulsifer, the principal at Holy Name had this to say in a prepared statement, “The incident for which Mrs. Strong has been accused has nothing to do with her association with Holy Name school. during her time as a volunteer coach no policies were broken or infringed upon.”

The incident in question allegedly occurred on March 30 when Strong met the 4 boys at a Comfort Inn bringing along the Coors Lite, then she got on the love train with one of the teens. Oh what a night.


Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

April 2009