Posts Tagged ‘Oakland Raiders


Sad News if You’re in JaMarcus Russell’s Fan Club

In 2007 the Oakland Raiders tabbed JaMarcus Russell with the first pick in the draft to become their franchise savior, after a lengthy holdout, he finally signed for 6-years, $68 million. So far, that’s proven to be money really really poorly spent.

For his career, JaMarcus has a 52% completion rate and a 17:22 touchdown to interception ratio; talk about SAVIOR! The Raiders are so pleased with JaMarcus that they worried that if he continued playing someone might be mean to him, and so they benched him in favor of Bruce Gradkowski. BRUCE GRADKOWSKI!

With Gradkowski out with an injury, Oakland is left with the possibility of actually having to PLAY JaMarcus, which, even for the Raiders, is a disaster. So, they signed a CHAMPIONSHIP quarterback, former Buffalo Bill JP Losman who won the first UFL championship playing for the Las Vegas Locomotives.

Good thing the Raiders only have 3 more years, and about $40 million left with JaMarcus!

[Buffalo News]


Raiders Fans Want to Be Heard, Make a Billboard

There must be something in the water of rural Pennsylvania that inspires cranky NFL fans to start billboards for their far-off favorite franchises. First it was a Bills fan who, with hundreds of other Bills fans paid for a drive-time billboard imploring the Bills owner to fire Dick Jauron — which obviously was the driving reason for Jauron’s eventual dismissal. Now, 22-year-old Jared Staszewski of Erie, Pennsylvania has gotten together with some fellow Raiders fans online to send a message to the aging Raiders owner and general manager Al Davis.

The group wants Al to step down as GM and for the team to hire a coach who isn’t inept like Tom Cable and isn’t “managed” from the owner’s box.

“We have nothing but respect for Mr. Davis and what he has done for the team over the years,” Staszewski said. “But that effort and our championships are in the past. I have been a loyal fan since 1993 and in those 16 years we (the Raiders) have only had four playoff appearances. We are now on track for our seventh losing season in a row and we believe something has to change,” he said.

“We thought a billboard, posted near the stadium might generate some awareness, create a dialogue among the ‘Raider Faithful’ and perhaps make a difference,” Staszewski said, thus, was born.

In a mere 8 weeks, the site has raised nearly $2,000 of the necessary $5,500 needed for the billboard. As well, their over 21,000 people have signed the site’s petition that requests four things:

  1. Please step down as General Manager
  2. Hire a new GM
  3. Hire a Super Bowl caliber coach
  4. Agree to refrain from intervention in personnel or football operational matters

“Some disgruntled fans of other teams have worn brown bags over their heads or staged protests to try to get their message out there,” Staszewski said, “We believe this billboard is a respectful way to give this initiative a voice and to ask Mr. Davis to allow the team to realize its potential.”

Starting yesterday, the billboard is up, a mere half mile from the stadium and Staszewski is hopeful fans will continue supporting his site as they were forced to take a line of credit out to pay for the billboard.

“We believe in the organization and we hope that Mr. Davis might become inspired to ‘do the right thing.’ We believe he, our loyal fan base and the entire Oakland region will all benefit if we are to achieve our goal. We didn’t want to sit back and simply complain about our situation. We want to take steps to do something about it. We can’t make draft picks or coach from the stands. We can, however, bring the issue to light and respectfully request that the organization make some necessary changes which we believe can help the Raiders to fully realize their potential and to once again be considered among the NFL’s elite teams,” Staszewski said.



I Guess We’re Setting the Bar Really Low for “Good”

JaMarcus RussellAfter Oakland’s 26-14 loss to the Chargers on Sunday, embattled quarterback JaMarcus Russell spoke with reporters regarding his performance.

I did a pretty good job. When it all boils down to it, you had a chance at the end to try and win. Didn’t do too much damage with the interception. No matter what happened, I think we came out and fought despite the score and just kept pushing and just came out short in the end.

He must be using a different definition of “good” because when you have a $61 million contract you should probably be doing better than going 14-22 for a mere 109 yards, especially when you have no TDs, an interception, 5(!) sacks and a fumble. That to me doesn’t spell G-O-O-D, more like pathetic. Or shitacular.

I would like whatever drugs Jamarcus is on that enables him to hallucinate so powerfully.

[Contra Costa Times]


Need to Save a Raider Fan From the Black Hole?

You have to love local advertising, usually it looks like it is filmed on a household camcorder from 1996 with a script that was written by the 3rd graders of Ms. Sybil’s class but this ad from before the Chargers/Raiders game this past Sunday is simply too good to pass up. Sure, the imagery is more than a bit repetitive but the end tag-line more than makes up for it.

After all, what group of fans needs bail bondsmen more often than Raiders fans?


The Sanchise Puts a Meat Stick Down His Gullet

“Somebody offered one up, and I grabbed it,” Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez said. “I tried to be discreet about it, but obviously not discreet enough. So I shouldn’t do that. It won’t happen again.” His offense? The young quarterback was caught by CBS’ cameras mustarding up, and then chowing down on a hot dog during the game. Sure, playing the Raiders isn’t THAT challenging, but that seems to be really rubbing their noses in it.

“I want to apologize for that,” Sanchez said. “I just wasn’t feeling very good, couldn’t eat much before the game. I just felt a little queasy and stuff, and toward the end of the game, I probably should’ve eaten one of those bars or something.”



Definitely Do NOT Fly on This Plane

phpodfQn8The Oakland Raiders have been the poster children for futility for the last several years, foolish penalties, complete lack of talent, lack of direction from the front office, coaches who are overmatched have all served to make them a laughingstock in the NFL. So, the news that they have come to an agreement with Air Asia X, a small airline serving Malaysia, London and Australia to sponsor one of the airline’s new Airbus A340 planes.

This agreement with Air Asia X is not an indication that the Raiders are dropping their long-time partner Hawaiian Airlines. Raiders CEO Amy Trask joked, “We can dominate the airlines. If you buy a plane you can paint it in Raider colors.” She said that the Raiders will continue their terrific relationship with Hawaiian, and there would be no conflict because both airliners cover different routes and territory.

Air Asia X has a tradition where all their planes have an “X” in their name, and so, of course, the Raiders’ plane will be named the “Committment to Excellence.” Currently the plane just has the Raiders shield on the tailfin, but it will soon be covered inside and out in  Raider regalia, including images of the Raiderettes, current and past players and classic Raider moments.

All I know is that if I’m going to go into an aluminum can and go 30,000 feet in the air, I’d like NOT to have anything associated with CONSTANT failure and suck. That doesn’t inspire much confidence for me. I’ve seen the Raiders play, it’s probably best to wait for another flight. This plane is guaranteed to fail.

Trask said this is an “Exciting, fun, terrific relationship with Air Asia X” whom she called a “bodacious airline.”

The team does expect the plane to be flown to Oakland for at least one game day.



Raiders Haven’t Figured Out Scoring Yet

In an effort to remind his players of the joy of scoring a touchdown, interim Raiders head coach Tom Cable had the team practice touchdown celebrations this past week, in anticipation of their game against the Atlanta Falcons. Cable has been frustrated by seeing his team coming off the field with too many field goals and not enough TDs and so thought this might remind his players of why they are on the field.

“Now we do a thing in practice, where guys run to the end zone,” quarterback JaMarcus Russell said. “Or we make it in the end zone, as far as the offense, [we] congratulate those guys, get used to doing it. The more you get used to it, the more you’ll be better with it on the field, as a team.”

The Raiders, who have scored only 1 first half touchdown all season, a 63 yard pass were hoping that this practice technique would help rid them of their field goal-itis. Good news! It worked! The Raiders did not kick a single field goal in this week’s game.

They also didn’t score a single point as the Atlanta Falcons shut them out 24-0. Looks like all that practicing didn’t help. Now I’m not football coaching expert, (though then again, neither is Tom Cable) but I feel like you end up getting more points if you practice the actual act of GETTING the points, rather than the post-points celebration. But heck, what do I know…


Quelle Surprise

Al Davis finally, after leaving his coach to hang in the wind for essentially the entire season, fired the overmatched Lane Kiffin this afternoon. Now, with that albatross off their necks expect the Raiders to go undefeated from here out because of all that really excellent talent that Davis has assembled…Here is an actual photo of Davis immediately after.

You know, he doesn’t look half-bad… better than usual. Maybe he feasted on Kiffin’s young blood first.


Damn You and Your Smoke Pot Friends!

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John Herrera is a senior executive PR man with the Oakland Raiders and he took some umbrage at Mercury News columnist Tim Kawakami’s accusation that the Raiders organization is anti-head coach Lane Kiffin. Using the example of how someone on the Raiders staff, (according to Kawakami it was Herrera himself) handed out a recent article that was negative about Lane Kiffin to reporters, Kawakami asked Kiffin if he felt isolated within the Raiders organization. Herrera did NOT appreciate this line of questioning. After the press conference Herrera strode up to Kawakami and started belligerently yelling at him. Among his fun yelling claims was that Yahoo Sports football reporter Mike Silver is a pot head (OH NO!) and thus can’t be believed or trusted. Even when other reporters in the room tell Herrera that their paper’s received the anti-Kiffin article Herrera refuses to accept it. Way to really nail Silver’s credibility, I mean, if he blazes than certainly he is too stupid to even know how to read an article handed to him by a member of the Raiders. Besides, NO ONE in sports smokes pot, least of all the players, and CERTAINLY NOT on a franchise of such fine moral standing as the Raiders. I do however love the way in which Herrera tries to make it an insult, “so did your smoke pot, –smoke pot, –your smoking buddy Michael Silver.” BURN!

I simply cannot understand why this organization is doing so poorly. It simply doesn’t make sense to me. I see the behind the scenes things and it looks like one well-oiled machine. Sure, every week there is a rumor that that Monday the head coach will be fired. Sure the owner hates his head coach and regrets plucking an offensive coordinator from the college ranks who had no previous head coaching experience and giving him control of an NFL franchise. Sure the owner is a bat-shit crazy old man who shouldn’t be in charge of a Dairy Queen much less a major sports franchise. Sure their team is a collection of mostly never-wills and haven’t-beens but that doesn’t mean they can’t be successful right? Right? Or at least that’s what John Herrera believes I think. Anyways, that franchise is a fucking mess.

But anyways, so uh, Michael Silver of Yahoo, wanna hang out?

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May 2023