Archive for the 'People Hurting Themselves' Category

18
Dec
09

Snowboarder Goes Off Cliff, Hangs By Fingers Until Rescued

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports, People Hurting Themselves and Random
Tags: , , ,

The Moelltal glacier in Carinthia, Austria is a very popular spot for skiers and snowboarders across Europe. Featuring more than 35 miles of slopes and a special snowboard Fun Park, it’s easy to see why. One recent visitor, Austrian snowboarder Kurt Welden, 31, nearly found his funtimes turning into DEATHTIMES when he went over a cliff.

Hanging on desperately, he was able to dig some snow away and help get a better grip on his precarious position. Rescue workers came to Welden’s aid, but it took them over an hour to reach him and get him free using a helicopter.

One of the rescuers said afterwards: “The fear was that the snow that was at the edge of the cliff could have been dislodged, taking the man down with it.

“But in the end we managed to pull him to safety. He was shocked but otherwise unhurt.”

[Daily Mail]

15
Dec
09

Not Quite Good Enough to Win the Slam Dunk Competition

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Basketball and People Hurting Themselves
Tags: ,

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, people falling is always hilarious. Even funnier is when it comes from someone dressed in a cougar mascot costume. Showing their inner humanity, no one goes to the mascot’s aid after he tries a dunk off a giant exercise ball.

10
Dec
09

Dance With the Bloopers Who Brung Ya

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports, People Hurting Themselves, Random and Television
Tags: , ,

Winner of a Congressional Water Safety Award in 1978, Bill Dance is a legend in the bass fishing world who has had a fishing show since the 1960s, his most recent version (Bill Dance Outdoors) airs on the Versus network in between hockey and the constant showings of Bloodsport. The long-time fisherman has had a number of bloopers during his day, and this 3 minute clip captures some truly hilarious ones.

Say what you want about the inanity of fishing — I agree — but these bloopers are absolutely amazing, I’m almost tempted to buy one of his DVDs to see more. I won’t but I’m tempted.

The camera guy falling off the clip completely slays me, that shit is PRICELESS.

07
Dec
09

Al Michaels — Master of the English Language

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Football, People Hurting Themselves and Television
Tags: , , , ,

Jared Allen is a nearly unstoppable defensive force, we saw his power last week when he ran roughshod over whoever was put in place to block him. Allen wears number 69 because you know, being a middle schooler forever is important, was continuing to be disruptive during last night’s contest against the Cardinals and Al Michaels figured it was an opportune moment to teach the kids about mutual oral love.

I mean, he’s right, but it just seemed a weird thing to bring up in the middle of a football game. Must have been weighing on his mind or something…

Then, when EJ Henderson breaks his leg in a decently gruesome manner, Al who must not own a thesaurus can’t stop from saying break. Whether it’s an “unfortunate break” or a “rough break” or it’s time for a commercial and so NBC will take “a break,” it’s time for Al to learn some new words.

[Sports Rubbish]

04
Dec
09

Is There Anything Like a Good Ol’ Fashioned Fluorescent Lamp Fight?

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports, People Hurting Themselves and Random
Tags: ,

I don’t understand much of Japanese culture, they just do things differently over there. For example, have you ever heard of a fluorescent light fight? Me either until loyal commenter the Sister passed this story along. Now, I haven’t been able to find other examples of this, but even if this only happened once it’s fucking amazing! Supposedly this is a semi-regular underground MMA-style fight but I haven’t found anything else on it; probably because it’s so dangerous they don’t court a lot of press coverage…

I don’t know if this is some Yazuka underground stuff, some weird Japanese reality show or just two dudes getting together to express their emotions to one another, but I do know that is bizarre and horrific. And probably an AMAZING event to attend in person, if only for the weirdness factor.


[Wicked Report]

01
Dec
09

Teammate Nearly Decapitates Own Goalie With a Slash

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Hockey and People Hurting Themselves
Tags: , , , ,

The Florida Panthers were in Atlanta to play the Thrashers and midway through the first period, already tied 1-1, Ilya Kovalchuk came flying in on a breakaway. Despite the efforts of goalie Tomas Vokoun who stymied the first attempt but was unable to stop the rebound shot from going into the net. Frustrated with his team’s lack of defensive skill, Keith Ballard took out his aggression on his stick. Unluckily, when Ballard slammed his stick against the post, breaking it, the end of the stick struck his goaltender, lacerating his ear. Oops!

Vokoun left the ice and was taken to a local hospital, but should ultimately be fine.

23
Nov
09

Wood’s Bones Snap Like, Well, Wood

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football and People Hurting Themselves
Tags: , ,

Eric Wood was starting at right guard for the Buffalo Bills on Sunday, he’s been one of their better linemen all season, his season though is over after suffering a BRUTAL ankle injury. If you like to see sickening injuries, then click this video, if not, I’m sure cuteoverload has some new photos up or something…

13
Nov
09

I Did It! I Did It!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports, People Hurting Themselves and Random
Tags: ,

When good things happen you want to celebrate, it’s only natural; if you score a strike, seemingly unexpectedly you wouldn’t be wrong in wanting to jump up and down in excitement. This young lady unfortunately (for her, for us it’s very fortuitous) doesn’t count on the oil used on the bowling lanes interfering with her elation.

12
Nov
09

Didier Drogba Gets Jump Kicked

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: People Hurting Themselves and Soccer
Tags: , , , , ,

Sunday’s match was a fierce battle pitting the English Premier League leading Chelsea versus third-place Manchester United; still tied 0-0, Chelsea’s star striker Didier Drogba went hard after a loose ball bounding towards the penalty box. Man U defender Jonny Evans was coming strong from the opposite angle and jumped in to corral the ball. While in the air, he led with his foot and (mostly) inadvertently kicked Didier right in the chest. No dive needed on this play, watch the replay where Drogba’s chest gets stabbed with a pair of cleats. Yowch!

28
Oct
09

This Seems Like an Opportune Time to Walk Across

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports, People Hurting Themselves and Random

My favorite part of this video is how, despite a large man running full-steam directly toward her, Gabriela Szabo, a Hungarian long-distance runner remains completely oblivious and even turns her head the opposite direction right before he rams into her. Hilarious.

[The Big Lead]

13
Oct
09

Deer Wants to Get in on the Pigskin Action

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football, People Hurting Themselves and Random
Tags: , ,

deerThe people of Ohio are mad for football of all levels, there’s a reason the Hall of Fame is in Canton, a place wholly otherwise unworthy of visiting. That level of devotion to the game stretches beyond humans in Wintersville, Ohio where 7-year-old Brandon Hiles chased after a football that rolled into the woods.

Hiles found himself face-to-face with a deer with the ball between them. The buck charged at him, flipping him with its antlers. Fortunately the young lad was only left with some bruises and a gash.

The deer was signed up by the Browns as he already showed more ball skills than any of their players.

[Boston.com]

28
Sep
09

You Have to Protect What’s Important to You

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, College, Football and People Hurting Themselves
Tags: , ,

University of Minnesota’s Simoni Lawrence’s hustle doesn’t stop, he follows the play all the way to the sidelines no matter what the personal cost. If it means falling into the sticks on the sidelines, so be it; if it means telling your coach “Motherfucker hit my penis,” and then walking it off, so be it. At the least your coach will appreciate you using a clinical  term for your man-cannon rather than some colloquial slang.

« Previous Entries

Follow The Slanch Report

 Subscribe to RSS Feed

twitter / slanchreport

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

March 2023
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Categories