Posts Tagged ‘Washington Nationals

10
Aug
09

Nats Ballgirl Remains Immune to Win Streak

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , ,

The Nationals are in the midst of a 8 game win streak, which coincides nicely with my Red Sox precipitious drop to mediocrity over the last week. Fortunately, as good as the players have been on the field, the ball girls haven’t transitioned to become all-stars too.

I definitely appreciate someone who can laugh at themselves though. Which, I’d imagine is a pretty important part of being a Nationals fan in the first place. Also, I want to be the ball-boy (girl) at the park, that seems like great fun.

[Barstool Sports]

20
Jul
09

Tavarez Gets Dumped by 600 Pounder

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , , ,

andy_fat_girlWhen Julian Tavarez signed with the Washington Nationals he dropped this great quote about what it was like signing with them:

Why did I sign with the Nationals? When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you’re just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J. Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It’s 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me.

Well, what does it feel like when you get unceremoniously dumped by that same 600 pounder? After a month where he went 8 1/3 IP with a 7.56 ERA and a 3.00 WHIP with opposing batters hitting .521 off him over that span, Julian was designated for assignment following Sunday’s depressing 11-3 loss to the Cubs.

I’ve been in this situation before,” Tavarez said. “It’s just tough. I haven’t been able lately to do my job. Just a lot of up-and-down this year. This doesn’t surprise me. There are a lot of young arms down there, they had to make some changes, and they’re going to bring some young kids over here. They have to get this ready for next year.”

This makes it at least the 3rd straight team that has DFA’d Tavarez, with the Nats following the example of the Brewers and Red Sox before them.

[Washington Post]

14
Jul
09

National Fail

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Douches
Tags: , ,

2008106662How do you replace a manager who starts off his major league career going 157-251, a .385 winning percentage? If you’re the Washington National Failures you do so with a 522-652 career record, good for a .445 winning percentage. SUCCESS!

After ousting Manny Acta, who was never given a fair chance, or a Major League team for that matter, the Nationals have hired Jim Riggleman the failed former Padres, Cubs and Mariners manager. I’m sure this will lead to success.

What, Butch Hobson wasn’t available?

[ESPN]

10
Jul
09

Hanrahan Gets the Win Miles Away

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , , ,

20080529-005237-pic-47351916It took until July 9th, but Joel Hanrahan finally got his first win of the season, and he did it with probably the easiest outing of his season, and on a day off no less! Relaxing in Philadelphia with his new Pirates teammates, 15oo miles away his former mates on the Nationals were taking on the Astros in the continuation of a game started on May 5.

The original game was in the 11th inning when the game was forced to be suspended due to rain. Tied at 10, Hanrahan was on-deck to bat when the game was called. The game was finally resumed last night, albeit in Houston instead of Washington. LaTroy Hawkins who was pitching when the game was originally called was back out on the mound gave up a single and then an error by Miguel Tejada led to a quick run for the Nationals and the game.

Hanrahan, traded on June 30th to the Pirates thus earned his first win of the season, for a team he no longer plays for, improving his record to 1-3.

[ESPN]

15
Jun
09

Who is this Sharon Lady on the Nats?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Mistakes
Tags: , , , ,

!BTs2w4!B2k~$(KGrHgoH-DUEjlLlzqhLBKJ0Rjg)Hw~~_1When you play for the Nationals you can’t expect much media attention; after all, who wants to cover a team that is so consistently miserable. So, for Shairon Martis, who currently leads the team in wins with 5, it isn’t super surprising that no one is paying attention to any of your actions. At least though, you can take solace in that moment, when for the first time as a professional baseball player you can see yourself memorialized on a baseball card. Shairon won’t ever have that proud moment thanks to a misprint from Topps where they write his name as “Sharon.” Nicely done Tooops. I mean Topps.

Even worse, a misprint card is usually worth a couple bucks, but since it is a Shairon Martis card, and he’s a Nat, and Topps made thousands upon thousands of these, it’s probably not worth more than a dollar. Sigh.

[Boston Globe]

25
May
09

Nationals Utterly Fail Once More

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , ,

rosseveltI don’t know what it is about the Nationals that makes them desire to suck so much, but this team is clearly run by people who are not paying attention and don’t care. First there was the debacle with the misspelled uniforms, and now, available at the stores at Nationals Stadium you can have your very own Teddy Rossevelt bobblehead. Whoever he is.

I can see how they would get Roosevelt’s name wrong, I mean, it’s not like he was a major force in American government like Jerry Ford. This is just more piling on ol’ Teddy, first they never let him win in any of the races, and now this!

Hey Nationals, obviously no one is paying any attention to anything going on either at the stadium or with the team. Hire me. I’ll pay attention, although, paying attention to the Nats is pretty difficult… Also, what is it about Maryland-area stadiums complete inability to use the English language?

[DC Sports]

18
May
09

Nationals Failures Carry Over to the Grounds Crew

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Categories: Baseball
Tags: ,

Their play on the field is middling and full of miscues, so it makes perfect sense that the Nationals ground crew would have their own problems too. From the game on Saturday comes this poorly shot video of the grounds crew struggling to get the infield covered with the tarp.

10
Apr
09

Nationals Strike Out With Art Too

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball and Poor Governing
Tags: , , , ,

ph2009040804240As awful as the product on the field is, all 6 Washington Nationals fans can take solace in at least that they play in a gorgeous new ball-park. Unfortunately, the District’s government is intent on ruining the beauty of the stadium. On Wednesday, 4 new public works of art were revealed at the stadium just inside the center field gates featuring former stars of Washington baseball past, Walter Johnson, Frank Howard and Josh Gibson. In addition, a giant mobile was hung by the food concessions on the first base line. Soon, fans may actually prefer to see the awful play on the field, if only to erase the awful memory of these works of “art.”

ph2009040804235The statues were designed by Israeli-born sculptor Omri Amrany, who is now based in Highwood, Illinois and who specializes in sports art. He may want a new specialty. Intending to use the bronze and capture the speed of the game, Amrany instead made the players look like they have multiple limbs and tumorous growths on their backs. Amrany says that the bronze growths that push out from the players’ backs and legs are meant somehow to indicate the momentum of their actions; that their multiple limbs are meant to convey the players’ moving parts. Instead, they make the players nearly unrecognizable and ruin the overall pieces.

ph2009040804319The mobile, actually comprised of 4 different mobiles was designed by Washington-based artist Walter Kravitz and while less awful than the bronze statues are boring and uninspired. Featuring wacky cut-outs of players in Scooby-Doo-type colors they left one child who saw them saying, “I really don’t like how they did the bodies.” And if you can’t impress kids with your art, then just get out of the game.

Fortunately, these works only cost $600,000 out of the public coffers. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE public funding of art, I think it is an extremely important thing for our government to do, I just wish they had picked better artists…However, considering how middling the Nationals are likely to be for the near future, maybe these statues make perfect sense…

[Washington Post]

18
Feb
09

The Washington Nationals are the Worst

By slanch 4 Comments
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , , , ,

I like hating on the Washington Nationals because I think they are most poorly run franchise in Major League Baseball. Jim Bowden, the GM is absolutely awful and makes bad decision after bad decision. For example, why was Ronnie Belliard signed to an extension? Or Christan Guzman? Or Dmitri Young? Or how about the fact that Bowden is being investigated for impropriety regarding taking a cut of signing bonuses from international players? Or maybe that the team just wasted $20 million on Adam Dunn who will not help the team NOT finish in last in their division over the next two years and may hurt the development of some of the only young prospects that the Nationals have. Then there is that the Nationals are the only team that has gone to arbitration this year, and not only that, but they LOST the case.

So the latest news, that the tenth best prospect on the team, Esmailyn Gonzalez who the team believed was 19 years old is actually Carlos Alvarez Daniel Lugo a 23 year old. Oops!

The Nats signed Gonzalez/Lugo in July of 2006 to a $1.4 million bonus, the largest the team has given to an international player. At the time, team president Stan Kasten equated the signing to when the Braves had signed Andruw Jones and Rafael Furcal in the mid-90s as showing the Nationals were going to be competitive in signing the best players.

Gonzalez put up excellent numbers last year in the Gulf Coast League, but looking at his numbers with this new information they are much less impressive, “Those are great numbers,” a scout told SI.com, “but you should be hitting that well if you’re that much older than your competition.”

And of course, the signing was engineered by Jose Rijo, special assistant to Bowden (and also subject of an investigation regarding impropriety with bonuses) and a man named Basilio Vizcaino, who helps prepare young players in hopes that they eventually sign big Major League deals and reward him with a percentage of a signing bonus.

Way to go Nats, but hey, you might only lose 90+ games this year instead of 100, so there’s that…

[MLB.com]

04
Nov
08

Goodbye Sweet Meathook

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , ,

Dmitri Young, MLB’s 2007 Comeback Player of the Year has been outrighted to the Washington Nationals’ AAA team in Syracuse today. Baseball without da Meathook just doesn’t make sense. Young, who has overcome being diagnosed with diabetes, as well as suffering through playing two seasons (well, parts of 2 seasons) for the Nationals deserves better. Having played for the Cardinals, Reds, Tigers and Nationals over 13 seasons Young’s teams have lost nearly 920 games over that time span, including 7 teams that have lost at least 89 games in a season. This to me is an outrage. If the Nationals are going to get serious about winning they should care more about their AAA team and not attach such a losing albatross around their neck. So long Dmitri, I’ll never forget heckling you during spring training. Vote Da Meathook in 2012!

22
Sep
08

The Nationals are Deadbeats

By slanch 3 Comments
Categories: Baseball and Poor Governing
Tags: , , ,

The Washington Nationals will be mercifully finishing their season later this week, closing out merely 30+ games out of contention for the NL East, although the good news is that they are only 28.5 games out of the wild card. To cap off their inaugural season in their gorgeous new government paid-for home, the Nationals are celebrating by not paying their rent. After all, why should they bother, the product on the field is gift enough! Ted Lerner, the owner of the Nationals contends that the stadium is not “substantially complete” and so refuses to pay rent until the changes have been enacted. The city collects sales tax revenue from the stadium that is supposed to help pay down the debt from the costs that the city already outlaid. Unfortunately, since the Nationals completely and totally blow, no one goes to the games. And really, why should you? The product on the field is miserable, barely able to beat anyone, as of right now the Nats are 58-98, thats AWFUL–although I’m pretty sure that half those wins came against the Mets… With the lack of actual fans paying for tickets and buying things at the stadium Washington DC officials are forced to use a special business tax fund to help pay the debt off, of course the fund is not supposed to be used for this purpose and cannot last too long. But Ted Lerner, net worth $2.5 billion doesn’t think he needs to pay off the debt that the city accrued for his benefit. Why should a man who develops real estate think that paying one’s rent be a good thing after all. First he gets his $611 million dollar stadium financed by the city and the residents of Washington DC and now Lerner decides to tell them to all go fuck off. Nice.

Here’s a thought, if you aren’t going to pay your rent why don’t you at least use that money to help your team get better, for example by signing your NUMBER 1 DRAFT PICK, Aaron Crow, or hiring a GM who actually makes GOOD decisions. If you know that a player wants a giant bonus you don’t want to pay, DON’T FUCKING DRAFT HIM. Or is it better to remain mediocre forever? Someone take control of this franchise away from these people. I think when MLB was mishandling the team that it was in better hands.

19
Jun
08

The Nationals Hate My Rippling Pecs

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Douches
Tags: , , ,

The Washington Nationals have apparently been cracking down on topless fans at baseball games. Unlike topless soccer, which is wholly encouraged in Europe, topless baseball apparently is not the image that the nation’s capital team wants to present.

“We bought a few beers for $7.50 each, and kicked back to enjoy the game,” wrote Benjamin Correia, to the Washington Post, “Around the third inning, a ballpark employee informed me and a friend that we would have to put our shirts back on.”According to the Nationals, this is just part of their policy opposing any indecent exposure.

I wholly applaud this policy. Now, as someone who has a physique that is just simply marvelous–I get stopped constantly by women and even some men who just want to behold the splendor that is my chest. My abs are used by my friends to grate cheese, my pecs have led many art critics to cry due to their beauty, etc etc–I am so glad to see the Nationals crack down on those men who have been taking their shirts off in public and simply shouldn’t be. I didn’t come to swill my $7.50 beer and be disgusted by sections of pale, flabby gentlemen. However, as someone who is totally jacked, I should be allowed to show my body off. When I take my shirt off women coo, children come up and ask if I’m Superman and a flock of doves often fly alongside me, providing a cooling fan action with their wings.

Chubbers and guys who are so pale that they are translucent could easily screw up the batter’s eye, and they should be silenced (clothed.) For the Washington Nationals, who have dedicated this season to the lost art of finishing 70-92, I can totally understand their focus on this terrible plague upon their new stadium. Normal men without their shirts are horrendous, as a demi-god, that fortunately isn’t my fate. So, to the Nationals I stand up and cheer. Why worry about the product on the field, after all, there are MUCH more important issues going on out in the bleachers! But be careful too, we’ve also seen the hoopla that can surround the shirts that people DO choose to wear to games as well…

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