Posts Tagged ‘New Jersey Nets


The Raptors Must HATE Their Fans

The Toronto Raptors must be trying to drive down their attendance or something, that’s the only reason I can think of for why they would unleash a cruel and unusual punishment on their fanbase. On February 3rd the team will hold “Fan Night” at the Air Canada Centre, innocuous enough, in fact, down right pleasant; but wait, there’s MORE!

The game will be held against the New Jersey Nets! ¬†Yes the same team that currently sits 2-26 and has shown no sign of ever improving. Wow, what a GAME! If that’s not enough to get you into the game, THERE’S MORE!

At halftime, for the fans, as a way to HONOR and APPRECIATE them, the Raptors will unleash VANILLA ICE!


WHY! How much would they have to pay you to go to that game? Hundreds of American dollars right?

Is there some kind of plot where the owner of the Raptors wants to lower attendance in order to relocate to Miami? Otherwise, this just seems especially cruel.

[Last Angry Fan]


Devin Harris is the Only Net Worth Watching

There has been almost nothing worthwhile to cheer for with the New Jersey Nets this season — something they anticipated when they offered ticket packages that gave away the OPPOSING team’s jerseys — but during last night’s Nets/Warriors game Devin Harris came through with one big highlight. Harris, one of the fastest players in the NBA saw CJ Watson going in for an easy lay-up so Harris decided to make it a bit more uncomfortable.

Wow. Too bad he’s languishing on such a miserably awful team.


Iguodala Posterizes the Nets

The NBA season has started and just think, in a few short months it will be late June and they will be nearly done with the playoffs! The first months of the NBA season are probably some of the most useless in all of sports, anything that happens now really doesn’t matter at least until January or so.

Speaking of irrelevant, the Philadelphia 76’ers played the New Jersey Nets Friday in an epic battle for eventual 9th place in the East. Sixers star Andre Iguodala decides to liven up the game by throwing down a hard tomahawk dunk over pretty much the entire Nets team, their wives, mistresses, road beef and hangers-on.


Meet the NBA’s Newest Owner

If you’re going to be a billionaire, be a Russian one; they seem to have the most fun. First off, they naturally are well-suited to become Bond villains, which is always fun, and then there is the seeming lawlessness that is the Russian government which allows you to make billions more. Win-win!

For instance, here is Mikhail Prokhorov, the soon-to-be new majority owner of the New Jersey Nets just hanging out on his jet-ski doing some tricks. Because you know, what the hell else does he got to do, the man is 6′ 7″, made several billions of dollars in his mid-20s and is already essentially an oligarch.

I just hope he brings the jet-ski and does tricks during half-times. Let’s go Brooklyn!

[Sports by Brooks]


The Nets Hate Themselves

NetsReversiblesBeing from New Jersey is bad enough, something very few residents are willing to admit. “Oh I’m from NYC” they’ll say, but last I checked Newark ain’t New York.

Then there are the New Jersey Nets, desperate to move to Brooklyn, but stuck in East Rutherford. Realizing that they are fighting a Sisyphean battle to get fan interest in their own struggling franchise, the Nets have turned to a different marketing strategy. Don’t come see US, see our OPPONENTS!

Offering a 10-game package, to see some of the actual GOOD teams in the league, including the Lakers, Celtics, Cavs and Magic you get tickets to the game, a four week subscription to the NY Post AND 5 special reversible jerseys. On one side are the Nets and on the other side is one of the aforementioned GOOD teams jerseys.

At last you can live your dream of having a Yi Jianlian and Kevin Garnett jersey!

This is simply an incredibly bad promotion. I mean, yes, the Nets WILL suck next season, they’re two marquee players both are gone and next season is going to be a nightmare, but even still, have some pride or self-respect.

And who are the douches that want to WEAR these stupid jerseys; how ashamed for even liking the Nets do you have to be to wear this?



Devin Harris For the Win

Hitting a buzzer beater is hard enough, hitting one in 1.8 seconds is really hard and hitting one while fumbling with the ball and throwing off balance is just ridiculously hard. Devin Harris managed last night to halt the New Jersey Nets’ 5 game losing streak with an incredible half-court shot to win the game. That’s some skill…


Vince Carter Sees Some Action

You may have heard something about a plane falling out of the sky yesterday and landing itself in the Hudson River, I overheard something about it somewhere I think. Who cares about what the news has to say about it though, I want to know what the New Jersey Nets’ Vince Carter thought about the whole situation, especially since he apparently saw the whole thing from his home overlooking the Hudson in scenic Weehauken, New Jersey.

“I was just sitting there, looking out the window,” Carter said. “I was just sitting in the bedroom. I thought it was watching TV. It landed like it was a movie. It hit like nose first, and you could (hear) the impact. I couldn’t believe it.”

So there you have it. That’s what happened.

[CBS Sports]


That 7 Foot Tall Guy Sure Can Play a Mean Pinball

Todd MacCulloch parlayed one pretty good NBA Finals series as a 76’er against the Lakers in 2001 into a $34 million contract with the New Jersey Nets. After only one year in Jersey, albeit one that took them to the Finals, he was traded back to the Sixers for Dikembe Mutombo. Unfortunately for MacCulloch and the Sixers, it turned out that MacCulloch’s feet were battling against him, eventually receiving a diagnosis of bilateral neuropathy, a condition which means he has severe nerve damage in his feet. Only 2 years after signing that 6-year $34 million contract, the 28 year old MacCulloch was retired, unable to stand the rigors of playing basketball any more.

These days MacCulloch passes the time playing on any of his over 80 different pinball machines. In fact, he’s so into pinball that he participates in tournaments and is a ranked player, currently 130 although apparently the rankings are a bit screwy and he really should be more like 60-70. For someone whose average game salary in the NBA was approximately $70K, MacCulloch has pulled down a robust $700 in pinball earnings.

Continue reading ‘That 7 Foot Tall Guy Sure Can Play a Mean Pinball’


Nets Are GIVING Tickets Away

Continuing along the theme of the miserable economy and what sports franchises are doing to cope, the New Jersey Nets have come up with an interesting way to try and get some fans in the door. Fans who are unemployed and submit their resumes to the Nets Job Bank will receive up to 4 free tickets and access to a Nets job fair on November 22 in their arena with the team’s corporate sponsors.

“Hopefully [the tired and miserable will] come out and experience the Nets, and then when times get better they’ll invest in us, because we invested in them,” team president Brett Yormark said. “No other team is doing that, and I think it’s the appropriate thing to do, because times are tough.”

While I applaud the creativity of the Nets’ marketing staff there still exists one problem with this deal, you are forced to go see a Nets game. Maybe they’ll play a really good team…Of course you know that the free tickets will be for some awful team, like the Knicks…


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June 2023