Posts Tagged ‘New Jersey Nets

21
Dec
09

The Raptors Must HATE Their Fans

The Toronto Raptors must be trying to drive down their attendance or something, that’s the only reason I can think of for why they would unleash a cruel and unusual punishment on their fanbase. On February 3rd the team will hold “Fan Night” at the Air Canada Centre, innocuous enough, in fact, down right pleasant; but wait, there’s MORE!

The game will be held against the New Jersey Nets! ¬†Yes the same team that currently sits 2-26 and has shown no sign of ever improving. Wow, what a GAME! If that’s not enough to get you into the game, THERE’S MORE!

At halftime, for the fans, as a way to HONOR and APPRECIATE them, the Raptors will unleash VANILLA ICE!

ACK!

WHY! How much would they have to pay you to go to that game? Hundreds of American dollars right?

Is there some kind of plot where the owner of the Raptors wants to lower attendance in order to relocate to Miami? Otherwise, this just seems especially cruel.

[Last Angry Fan]

10
Dec
09

Devin Harris is the Only Net Worth Watching

There has been almost nothing worthwhile to cheer for with the New Jersey Nets this season — something they anticipated when they offered ticket packages that gave away the OPPOSING team’s jerseys — but during last night’s Nets/Warriors game Devin Harris came through with one big highlight. Harris, one of the fastest players in the NBA saw CJ Watson going in for an easy lay-up so Harris decided to make it a bit more uncomfortable.

Wow. Too bad he’s languishing on such a miserably awful team.

11
Nov
09

Iguodala Posterizes the Nets

The NBA season has started and just think, in a few short months it will be late June and they will be nearly done with the playoffs! The first months of the NBA season are probably some of the most useless in all of sports, anything that happens now really doesn’t matter at least until January or so.

Speaking of irrelevant, the Philadelphia 76’ers played the New Jersey Nets Friday in an epic battle for eventual 9th place in the East. Sixers star Andre Iguodala decides to liven up the game by throwing down a hard tomahawk dunk over pretty much the entire Nets team, their wives, mistresses, road beef and hangers-on.

28
Sep
09

Meet the NBA’s Newest Owner

If you’re going to be a billionaire, be a Russian one; they seem to have the most fun. First off, they naturally are well-suited to become Bond villains, which is always fun, and then there is the seeming lawlessness that is the Russian government which allows you to make billions more. Win-win!

For instance, here is Mikhail Prokhorov, the soon-to-be new majority owner of the New Jersey Nets just hanging out on his jet-ski doing some tricks. Because you know, what the hell else does he got to do, the man is 6′ 7″, made several billions of dollars in his mid-20s and is already essentially an oligarch.

I just hope he brings the jet-ski and does tricks during half-times. Let’s go Brooklyn!

[Sports by Brooks]

03
Sep
09

The Nets Hate Themselves

NetsReversiblesBeing from New Jersey is bad enough, something very few residents are willing to admit. “Oh I’m from NYC” they’ll say, but last I checked Newark ain’t New York.

Then there are the New Jersey Nets, desperate to move to Brooklyn, but stuck in East Rutherford. Realizing that they are fighting a Sisyphean battle to get fan interest in their own struggling franchise, the Nets have turned to a different marketing strategy. Don’t come see US, see our OPPONENTS!

Offering a 10-game package, to see some of the actual GOOD teams in the league, including the Lakers, Celtics, Cavs and Magic you get tickets to the game, a four week subscription to the NY Post AND 5 special reversible jerseys. On one side are the Nets and on the other side is one of the aforementioned GOOD teams jerseys.

At last you can live your dream of having a Yi Jianlian and Kevin Garnett jersey!

This is simply an incredibly bad promotion. I mean, yes, the Nets WILL suck next season, they’re two marquee players both are gone and next season is going to be a nightmare, but even still, have some pride or self-respect.

And who are the douches that want to WEAR these stupid jerseys; how ashamed for even liking the Nets do you have to be to wear this?

[NBA]

24
Feb
09

Devin Harris For the Win

Hitting a buzzer beater is hard enough, hitting one in 1.8 seconds is really hard and hitting one while fumbling with the ball and throwing off balance is just ridiculously hard. Devin Harris managed last night to halt the New Jersey Nets’ 5 game losing streak with an incredible half-court shot to win the game. That’s some skill…

16
Jan
09

Vince Carter Sees Some Action

You may have heard something about a plane falling out of the sky yesterday and landing itself in the Hudson River, I overheard something about it somewhere I think. Who cares about what the news has to say about it though, I want to know what the New Jersey Nets’ Vince Carter thought about the whole situation, especially since he apparently saw the whole thing from his home overlooking the Hudson in scenic Weehauken, New Jersey.

“I was just sitting there, looking out the window,” Carter said. “I was just sitting in the bedroom. I thought it was watching TV. It landed like it was a movie. It hit like nose first, and you could (hear) the impact. I couldn’t believe it.”

So there you have it. That’s what happened.

[CBS Sports]




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

August 2018
M T W T F S S
« Jan    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Categories