Posts Tagged ‘Buffalo Bills

03
Dec
09

The Bills Try to Erase Dick Jauron

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: , ,

The Buffalo Bills fired head coach Dick Jauron on November 17, but the week before they took their team photo. Wanting to cleanse themselves of that period, they photoshopped Jauron out of the photo. In order to do so though they had to make some strange moves.

I mean, it’s no big deal, Jauron WAS fired and I can see the team wanting to move on, and presumably most people would never notice this. But I’m on the Internet a lot, and that’s how I came across the bit of detective work done by Josh Fitz, a Buffalo Bills fan and message board poster. Here’s some of his evidence:

1. Xavier Oman (#44) is in the photo. He was waived on 11/11. Jauron wasn’t fired until 11/17. This photo couldn’t have been taken after his firing.
2. Ralph and Brandon seem to be a little off-center. It seems that the logical place for Dick to be standing is right next to Ralph, where the three would be perfectly centered in the photo.
3. Who is in that spot? Jairus Byrd. And he seems larger than normal. In the photo he looks slightly taller than #29 next to him (Drayton Florence). Except Byrd is listed at 5′ 10″ and Florence is 6′ 0″. (That arm just ain’t natural; unless you’re this guy…)
4. Take a look at #29’s right ear. He seems to have some extra pixel’s… either that, or Kawika Mitchell has a seriously weird forearm.

[Two Bills]

23
Nov
09

Wood’s Bones Snap Like, Well, Wood

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football and People Hurting Themselves
Tags: , ,

Eric Wood was starting at right guard for the Buffalo Bills on Sunday, he’s been one of their better linemen all season, his season though is over after suffering a BRUTAL ankle injury. If you like to see sickening injuries, then click this video, if not, I’m sure cuteoverload has some new photos up or something…

20
Nov
09

Let’s Just Call the New Bills Head Coach Moses

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: , ,

Perry Fewell, the interim Buffalo Bills head coach shows his team the 10 commandments he has received from high above.

  1. I am the Head Coach
  2. Thou Shall have no other coach but I; because no one else would ever want this miserable job. You shall not worship any former Pro Bowlers (Terrell Owens) whose production is now miserable
  3. You shall not take the Bills name in vain, in fact, it’s better to not even mention us
  4. Keep Sundays as our Sabbath and use them as a day of rest, it won’t make a difference on the field anyways
  5. Honor our owner Ralph Wilson, he signs the checks
  6. You shall not murder, except the memories of Bills fans who remember the days when we were good
  7. You shall not seek out other teams for a trade or free agency, you must remain mired in mediocrity
  8. You shall not make any adjustments to your opponent, stick with what has gotten us this far
  9. You shall not give specious quotes to the media, abandon all hope
  10. You shall not covet to be on a better team, if you deserved to be there, you would be, you’re on the Bills for a reason.
16
Nov
09

Titans Owner Flips Bills Fans the Bird

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Douches and Football
Tags: , , , ,

Bud Adams Flipping the Bird

The Titans have gone through a difficult season; fresh off a 13-3 season they were expected to be serious contenders again this season. Instead they’ve seen their team collapse and become a door mat for the rest of the league to walk all over. Their owner Bud Adams has had his franchise since the inception of the AFL and is the senior owner in the NFL, as we get older apparently we get more ornery.

At yesterday’s Titans/Bills game at home Adams was overly enthused and started giving the middle finger to the Bills sideline. Unfortunately for Adams, many many many people captured his gesture on camera and I would imagine he’ll be fined quite handily by the commissioner’s office. Amusingly, Commissioner Goodell was AT the game, IN BUD’S BOOTH although presumably wasn’t around when Adams signed his displeasure with the Bills. I would have LOVED to see Goodell just straight up tackle Adams down as soon as he flashed the first bird.

Oh well, another time!

[Sports by Brooks]

02
Nov
09

At Least There’s SOME Good News in Buffalo

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Football
Tags:

Buffalo Bills fans have lived through bad season after bad season, their heyday at the early 90s is a football lifetime away but all is not lost for Buffalonians, at least arrests at the game are down! As this headline from the Buffalo News announces:

Buffalo Lousy GameCan’t argue with that! After only 14 arrests at the game the local police chief, Andrew Benz said “That’s about half than what it’s been running. I don’t know what to tell you.”

Just because their team is mired in abject wretchedness doesn’t mean the fans aren’t still clever. Take Bryan Bendo,Steven Henry and James Hester, three Canadians who “borrowed” a golf cart and rode it to the gate. A Bills employee had reported the theft of the cart and all three were arrested after rolling up to gate 1. That’s some balls there.

Hey, hang in there Buffalo, at least you still have… um… MTV filmed that shitty Frats and Sororities show there…

[Buffalo News]

16
Oct
09

Bills are Driving Their Fans to Extreme Measures

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: , , ,

Buffalo Bills suckYou know how you know when things are going really bad and that the fans are turning against you, when an unemployed 18-year-old raises over $1400 through the Internet to buy time on a billboard telling Buffalo Bills team owner Ralph Wilson that “It’s time to clean house, RALPH.”

Ryan Abshagen from New Freedom, PA who organized the campaign said “I honestly never thought it would ever be this big. Fans are disgruntled. It’s out there. It’s big. People are going to hear about it.”

Starting next week the ad will flash up to 3,000 times a day on a billboard overlooking I-190. In addition to the message to Wilson will be a checklist of who the fans want fired, head coach Dick Jauron, chief college scout Tom Modrak and VP of pro personnel John Guy.

Last week’s miserable outing against the Browns, where for the second time in three weeks the team was unable to muster a single touchdown was the final straw for many fans. One group of fans stood up with matching T-shirts spelling “FIRE DICK NOW,” while the always enjoyable paper-bag headed fans were also in attendance.

Abshagen came up with the idea initally after the 38-10 drubbing by the Dolphins on Oct. 4 and began soliciting donations, but after the Browns game, and thanks to some publicity via the local news he raised $1125 in three days, giving him enough to rent another billboard or to extend the ad another week.

“We don’t hate anybody,” Abshagen said, when asked about how the message might be interpreted. “The donors and myself included, we don’t mean any harm or wish to insult anyone. We simply just want to get our voice out as fans.”‘

I for one hope more and more fans become this proactive and put their bitching to good use. In the meantime, let’s just marvel at how cheap billboard time is in Buffalo, we should all get together and get some Slanch Report billboard time.

[Yahoo!]

22
Sep
09

Bills Defense Keep Losing at Home

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: ,

Donte WhitnerAfter last week’s loss, Bills cornerback Leodis McKelvin came home to his house vandalized by local teenagers. This week the Bills WON and when safety Donte Whitner came home he found that he had been robbed to the tune of $400,000 in jewelry.

Donte is not married, so you read that right, a DUDE has $400,000 in jewelry lying around the house. Patrice Horton, Whitner’s business spokesman told reporters that “[Donte] was upset. He was hurt. He doesn’t know who was responsible. There’s some feeling of being violated. You don’t know who was in your home. But he’s OK.”

Now, far be it from me to tell a young millionaire how to waste his money, but $400,000+ in jewelry? When you live in BUFFALO? What could you possibly need that for, I mean, where are you going out? Are they that impressed at the one Hooters/nightclub in the “city”?

During his game against the Bucs Whitner took a 76-yard interception to the house, scoring his first NFL touchdown. Obviously, his homecoming was less than stellar but he doesn’t think the incidents represent a trend.

“I think it’s two isolated incidents,” Whitner said. “I wouldn’t say it was the fans or anything like that. I’m not pointing any fingers, but the fact of the matter is something happened. I love the fans here. We’re going to win some more football games for you guys.”

[Buffalo News]

16
Sep
09

Buffalo Fans Wreck Players Lawn in Revenge

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Football
Tags: , , ,

0721051gold1

As if things weren’t bad enough for Leodis McKelvin, after losing a fumble directly leading to the Patriots scoring the winning touchdown, when he returned to his home Tuesday in suburban Buffalo he found it vandalized by unhappy fans. On his lawn they spray-painted an obscenity, a giant phallus and the final score for the game 25-24.

Bills linebacker Kawika Mitchell was not amused and on his Twitter wrote: “W/ all the safety issues n the NFL its not funny at all. We have Fam at our homes to protect. If u show ur face on my prop Ill make sure I do everythin to keep my Fam safe.”

“Its my job to protect my home as it is the job of all home owners. Dont push the limit,” Mitchell wrote.

C’mon Bills fans, you know better than this. It’s a long season, if you’re going to vandalize the players homes after EVERY loss local hardware stores in the Buffalo area are going to run out of spray-paint very quickly. Besides, you’re taking spray-paint away from teenagers who want to do REAL vandalism.

And huffers, won’t anyone think of the huffers?!!?

[Democrat and Chronicle]

07
Sep
09

I Totally Like, Um, Agree

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Football
Tags: ,

I think it’s safe to say that Buffalo Bills 7th round pick Ellis Lankster is not too comfortable with the post-game press conference Q+A yet.

10
Aug
09

I’m Ready for Some Football

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Football
Tags: , , ,

Football is BACK! Last night was the start of the preseason games with the Buffalo Bills taking on the Tennessee Titans in the annual Hall of Fame game. Early in the first quarter, the Titans’ backup punter, AJ Trapasso came on in a 4th and 10 situation. He executes a totally awesome fake and then takes it 40 yards to the house. Football is back!

15
Jul
09

Stealing 70,000 Bills from Buffalo

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: , ,

A former Buffalo Bills employee has been charged with embezzling $70,000 and she subsequently turned herself in to authorities on Monday. Bonnie Krauss, the former Assistant to the Vice President of Marketing and Broadcasting allegedly falsified expense reports over a period of several years, keeping some of the money for herself. Reportedly, the organization is very disappointed because she was a long-term employee that they trusted implicitly.

However, the Bills seem to be totally OK with their players stealing millions of dollars from the team who paid them to to perform at a high level and are simply incapable of doing so — we’re looking at YOU JP Losman…

Seems patently unfair to me. Krauss meanwhile is facing 15 years in prison, although since she doesn’t have any priors, if she repays the money she’s not likely to face a steep sentence.

[WGRZ]

30
Dec
08

Wide Right!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football
Tags:

From this weekend’s Patriots/Bills game, for those of you who didn’t see the game, the wind was swirling, at times up to 50+ MPH affecting the kicking game drastically. Check out this field goal attempt by the Bills where even with compensating for the wind there really is no chance.

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