Archive for the 'Basketball' Category

31
Dec
09

John Wall Shows Off His Inner Freestyle Walker

John Wall is the likely #1 pick in this year’s NBA draft, but for the meantime he is forced to ply his trade for the pittance that the boosters at Kentucky secretly pay him.

Despite all that, on the court, Wall is all business, and boy, does he have some skills. For example, while playing the Hartford Hawks on Tuesday Wall makes a hell of a steal and then goes for an inverse stall on the press table into a 180 jump back onto the court. Sign this man up for the X Games!

30
Dec
09

The Cavs Fly High Over the Hawks

Whenever LeBron is playing there’s always a strong chance of seeing something incredible; last night’s Hawks/Cavs game featured two such plays! First comes his Highness himself, LeBron taking one hard to the hoop and slamming one down right before the buzzer for the half.

Then late in the 4th quarter noted handgun owner Delonte West drives over the outstretched arms of Josh Smith to score 2 points the fun way. Fortunately, this explosion from Delonte doesn’t require police involvement.

24
Dec
09

Deron Williams is Really Good at Basketball

Chris Paul, Steve Nash and even Rajon Rondo seem to garner more headlines than Utah’s Deron Williams, but that’s OK, he continues to be one of the best point guards in the league, quietly going about his business up in Salt Lake City. Take for instance, this kickass crossover he lays on Dwyane Wade before he just SLAMS one down over the Heat defense. That’s the play of a superstar.

What is less than inspiring is how Wade just completely gives up on the play almost instantly. That’s some fine hustle there Dwyane.

23
Dec
09

Talk About Gruesome

Derrick Roland is a senior guard on the Texas A&M basketball team, but last night was likely his last game in college after he suffered a BRUTAL double fracture of his fibula and tibia. Roland underwent surgery today getting an iron rod inserted into his leg. Unfortunately, because of the extent of his injuries and the need for immediate surgery, and it being an away game in Washington, Roland is stuck in Seattle for the time being. His basketball career is likely over after such a devastating injury. If you’re squeamish, I wouldn’t check it out.

22
Dec
09

The Suns Want to Do it All Night Long

For a shaggy-haired Canadian, Steve Nash seems like a pretty fun guy, whether he’s tandem biking, shooting movie trailers with Shaq or helping out Letterman, he always seems to be having a good time. The other night on the team bus, Leandro Barbosa, with Steve Nash on the camera gets the whole Phoenix Suns team to band together to sing Lionel Ritchie’s classic, All Night Long,” how fraternal!

21
Dec
09

The Raptors Must HATE Their Fans

The Toronto Raptors must be trying to drive down their attendance or something, that’s the only reason I can think of for why they would unleash a cruel and unusual punishment on their fanbase. On February 3rd the team will hold “Fan Night” at the Air Canada Centre, innocuous enough, in fact, down right pleasant; but wait, there’s MORE!

The game will be held against the New Jersey Nets!  Yes the same team that currently sits 2-26 and has shown no sign of ever improving. Wow, what a GAME! If that’s not enough to get you into the game, THERE’S MORE!

At halftime, for the fans, as a way to HONOR and APPRECIATE them, the Raptors will unleash VANILLA ICE!

ACK!

WHY! How much would they have to pay you to go to that game? Hundreds of American dollars right?

Is there some kind of plot where the owner of the Raptors wants to lower attendance in order to relocate to Miami? Otherwise, this just seems especially cruel.

[Last Angry Fan]

21
Dec
09

One Second Left…He Shoots!…He…!

I’m not 100% convinced that this video is real, but it is really NEAT so let’s take a look. In it Mike Nowoslawski, a 9th grader makes a pretty awesome last second shot, he apparently scored 28 points in the game. I’d be more excited, but that shot ruined the point spread on the game and he cost me a bundle.

21
Dec
09

We Have Our Winners!

It was tough, there were many highly worthy candidates but ultimately, someone had to win the free subscription for NBA League Pass Broadband. The choice was made exceedingly harder by the EXCELLENT trash-talk that many of the contestants participated in, I think your denigrations of each other made us all better people, and I know I enjoyed it and hope you did as well.

Our Grand Prize, first place winner exhibited some excellent follow-up trash-talk to go along with his fine initial comment. In particular his examples of players that he was like was masterfully done and amusing too, which is more than enough to sway this judge. So, the free NBA League Pass broadband package goes to commenter Bo!

In second place, exhibiting a crass, aggressive and acerbic wit, comes Gabe who wins a fabulous new CAR! Well. If by car I mean a NEW adidas NBA BACKPACK!  But similar! HOORAY!

Our third place finisher Brandon Ribak, brought a voice of reason to this knife-fight and backed up his talk, earning him this position and he wins… an NBA pullover sweatshirt! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Yes!

Honorable mention goes to SoxDoc whose Eric Montross comment probably made me laugh the most.

Thank you to ultimately though to EVERYONE who participated, you’re all winners. Technically those three people really “won” but you too won the day. Go forth and tell your friends that you “won” a contest on the Slanch Report, they’re sure to be impressed, call your parents, email your high school principal. Also stay tuned for more fun contests along the way as we hope to have many more in the new year hope you”ll all come along for the ride.

Finally, and most importantly THANK YOU so much for reading and participating and telling your friends about us and please don’t stop now; we have a number of big things coming that are only going to enhance everyone’s experience so stay TUNED!

21
Dec
09

Maybe We Should Start Calling Nowitzki “The Dentist”

Houston’s Carl Landry is just standing in the lane, minding his own business, hoping to take a charge from a driving Dirk Nowitzki when BAM! in comes Dirk’s elbow and out goes three of Landry’s teeth. Ouch! I think Dirk earned himself a new nickname!

18
Dec
09

Santa Doesn’t Hold No Truck With Scalabrine

Boston’s favorite professional athlete fire-crotch, Brian Scalabrine is a man who lives in the real world. He doesn’t allow imaginary characters to run his, or his families life as this story from fellow bench-warmer Shelden Williams’ Twitter shows.

This is how he explained santa to his lil girls! He took his girls to the tv and said look at dora the explorer now she is not real

Shes a made up character just like santa! I’m not going 2 lie 2 u dora and santa are not real! I was like u didn’t kill ur lil girls dreams

He also said that he told them there is no tooth fairy either!! Kill all their child dreams early scal wow

[Shelden Williams via Red’s Army]

18
Dec
09

LeBron Teabags Allen Iverson

As the teams were warming up before Wednesday’s Cavaliers/76’ers game LeBron James wanted to pay his respects to one of the best players in NBA history, Allen Iverson. And what better way to show your deference than to place your balls over his face?

That’s how the Caesers greeted one another right?

Maybe that was  just Caligula…

17
Dec
09

Kobe Bryant is an Ice Cold Assassin

I wonder if after having hit so many game-winning shots if they start to get old for a player like Kobe Bryant. When he crushes the Milwaukee fans’ hopes of beating the Lakers in overtime Kobe seems awfully ho-hum, like it’s just another day in the office. Which, technically, it is.

At least the Bucks broadcasters are despondent proving SOME emotion.




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