Archive for the 'Boston' Category


Fenway Park: Robot in Disguise

In honor of today’s Winter Classic, and because I like time-lapse stuff, here is some time-lapse video of the Winter Classic at Fenway Park ice rink being set up. Viva 2010!


The Chosen One Has a Name

Despite having been born on December 8th, Tom Brady and Gisele had struggled to come up with a name for their bouncing baby boy. Well, the wait is over, the future stud/football star has a name. On her website, Gisele posted this bit of news today:

I want to thank you all with all my heart for the immense love I have received here on the website. It is a pleasure to receive messages from each one of you here.
I am living a very special moment in my life, Benjamin is a blessing and I could not be happier.
I would also like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and 2010 with lots of light!
Kisses Gisele

Did you see how she sent me kisses! I think my messages have been getting through to her!


Santa Doesn’t Hold No Truck With Scalabrine

Boston’s favorite professional athlete fire-crotch, Brian Scalabrine is a man who lives in the real world. He doesn’t allow imaginary characters to run his, or his families life as this story from fellow bench-warmer Shelden Williams’ Twitter shows.

This is how he explained santa to his lil girls! He took his girls to the tv and said look at dora the explorer now she is not real

Shes a made up character just like santa! I’m not going 2 lie 2 u dora and santa are not real! I was like u didn’t kill ur lil girls dreams

He also said that he told them there is no tooth fairy either!! Kill all their child dreams early scal wow

[Shelden Williams via Red’s Army]


Help Pick the Best Jewish Baseball Player of the Decade

All over the Internet various lists are being assembled to look back on the Aughts as the decade ends, however, none is more important than the one put together by the Jewish Major Leaguers Organization website. There you can vote in the single most important election ever: the Jewish Major Leaguer of the decade!

The ballot consists of these distinguished gentleman:

  • Brad Ausmus
  • Ryan Braun
  • John Grabow
  • Shawn Green
  • Ian Kinsler
  • Mike Lieberthal
  • Jason Marquis
  • Scott Schoeneweis
  • Kevin Youklis

I mean, with choices like that, you really can’t go wrong. I got confused for a moment and thought I was looking at the Hall of Fame ballot!

But seriously folks, I didn’t even KNOW Grabow was Jewish, and anytime you have a career middle reliever as one of the best players of a decade then you know your religion is dominating the game.

There’s nothing worse than not knowing who is Jewish in the Major Leagues and so the organization has put together their 5th(!) set of Jewish Major Leaguers baseball cards. The collection includes not just the stars of today, players like Rangers pitcher Scott Feldman and Tampa’s Gabe Kapler, but also has cards honoring Jewish “record-setters” and “firsts” as well as the “Career Leaders” and a roster of all-time Jewish players. With limited Channukah days remaining this is the perfect gift. Regale your friends with trivia such as:

Who are the only Jewish players who:
-Hit “for the cycle”?
-Hit homers in 4 consecutive at-bats?
-Caught no-hitters?
-Played the field for at least nine innings in a single game without ever touching the ball?
-Made more than 2000 consecutive fielding plays without an error?
-Won a Batting Championship?

If you want to order your own set, they cost only $36 plus $5 shipping and are mailed from my hometown and about 4 minutes from my childhood home in Newton (Jewtown), MA so, if you needed any more incentive, there you go!

[Jewish Major Leaguers]


What’s Next for the Red Sox?

With yesterday’s signings of John Lackey and Mike Cameron for a combined $100 million and the previous signing of Marco Scutaro, theoretically the Red Sox could be done with major moves. The team still needs a third baseman but otherwise, the major holes on the field have been filled.

While I’m not a big Lackey fan, for the short-term I like this deal. For his career, Lackey’s most comparable pitcher according to Baseball-Reference is Josh Beckett and both men have identical career ERA+ at 117. Providing his elbow holds up, and I have to believe the Sox wouldn’t make their largest expenditure ever for a pitcher without ensuring that was case, this rotation is filthy. Throw out a Beckett-Lester-Lackey-DiceK-Buchholz rotation and 1-5 you’re talking about one of the best groups in baseball. Add in Tim Wakefield and whatever reclamation project Theo signs (please please please sign Ben Sheets) and you’re talking a solid 1-6 at least which is absolutely necessary.

I wonder though if yesterday’s moves might reopen the Sox’ attempts to pry away the big bat they’re still lacking, someone like Adrian Gonzalez? Mike Cameron can still play a solid center field, even at age 36, the Red Sox have a plethora of young center field prospects (most of whom are several years away but still) and I wonder if the two signings mean two of the Sox young players might be on the move. If the Sox were to offer to San Diego a package headlined by Clay Buchholz and Jacoby Ellsbury wouldn’t the Padres have to seriously listen? They’d be receiving two major league players both under team control for at least 4 more years and at very low salaries. Ellsbury’s speed would give him plenty of chances to leg out extra base hits in the spacious Petco Park, and Buchholz is going to be if not a star, very good.

I don’t want to give up Buchholz, Ellsbury I could go either way on, but to acquire a big bat like Adrian, who is still only 26 years old and plant him in the middle of the lineup for the next decade is a pretty appealing thought. If, as the reports are right that Theo is hesitant to deal the young prospects that San Diego would want, (which I agree with him) perhaps giving up young major leaguers that the team isn’t convinced they want to build around, or that they can afford to give up is the better option.

Losing Jacoby would hurt some, the team would still have a hole in left but would be coming out of this offseason so far with the top starting pitcher on the free agent market and one of the best sluggers in the game. Not a bad haul if it could be done. I’d wager that Theo is FAR from done this offseason and there are a number of machinations still in the works. And if Adrian DOESN’T come to Boston, I’m still pretty satisfied with this offseason, I’d still like to see another 30 HR guy in the lineup but for the moment, I’m thinking this looks like a team poised to finish either 1-2 in the AL East.


Pat the Patriot Patriotically Pays for Prostitutes

A month after closing a loophole in the Rhode Island prostitution laws, legislators are already seeing results after the State Police arrested 14 people for prostitution-related crimes. Up until recently, prostitution was legal INDOORS, but the state legislature took care of that fun technicality and made it illegal and all prostitution acts a misdemeanor.

Among the 8 men arrested was 47-year-old Warwick, RI resident Robert Sormanti who is one of several people who perform the duties of Pat the Patriot, the New England football team’s mascot. The team was less than enthused releasing in a statement:

“The Pat Patriot mascot costume is worn by multiple people, each of whom are held responsible and accountable for their actions. The individual in question has been suspended. The mascot responsibilities will continue to be fulfilled by others.”

All the arrests were conducted via sting operations through Craigslist. In the first one, police pretended to be a woman offering sex in exchange for money. The second ad focused on a trooper responding to other ads placed on Craigslist. In a hopeful sign of the economy’s recovery, one of the prostitutes told police that she makes $1,000 a day and business for two of the women appeared very lucrative. One of them arrived at the meeting place in a new Mercedes and the other in a 750-series BMW.

[Turn to 10]


The Winter Classic Looks Magical

When you think of fine wine probably the FIRST thing you think of is the NHL. Or at least I do, but then I’m a classy kind of guy.

For those of you unaware, the NHL has an official special event wine maker, Joseph George, who makes special wines and bottles for “the All-Star Games and milestone player accomplishment bottles as well as the new Winter Classic bottles.”

Awesome! Now when you think varietals, you too should think of the NHL.

Me, I’m too busy scheming of a way to get tickets to the Winter Classic at Fenway. Sure, it’s going to be balls-ass cold, but think about how incredibly amazing it will be to watch a hockey game out at the ol’ ballpark!

One artist has an idea what it will be like, pretty dope if you ask me.  It’d definitely be kick-ass if it snows during the game, but Al Gore believes that won’t happen. I’d also imagine there will be a hell of a lot more NBC signage up, but otherwise, this looks pretty magical.

So, if you have a spare ticket lying around, why not take your friendly neighborhood sports blogger. After all, I already bring so much happiness into your life, isn’t it time you repay the favor?

[Puck Daddy]


Belichick Kicks 4 Players Out of Practice for Tardiness

Coming off their first 2-loss streak in 57 games, you’d hope that the Patriots were dedicating themselves to rediscover their swagger. Instead, with snow swirling around Boston today 4 players arrived late to an 8 AM meeting and were sent home. It’s not like Wednesday is one of the most important days of practice or anything, so I can see why they didn’t show on time. It’s also not like these are professional athletes with limited responsibilities beyond SHOWING UP TO PRACTICE!

Of the players in question, I’m not astonished that defensive end Derrick Burgess was no-show, after all, that’s exactly what he’s done on the field all season. Has he even been playing, because I feel like I have nearly the exact same stats as him for the season. Among the other players missing was Adalius Thomas, the highest paid defensive player on the team who has never lived up to the contract he signed and the expectations that came with it. He won’t be with the team next season for certain, but at least pretend like you care. Middle linebacker Gary Guyton was another of the tardy players, and from a young player like that, who was an undrafted free agent I expect more. This is a guy who has had to bust his ass to get where he is, don’t get lazy now!

And lastly, the final late player was one Randy Moss. Yes, Randy has been a model citizen in his time with the Patriots, yes the weather IS bad but there is simply no acceptable excuse for him to be late unless he has video footage of him singlehandedly pulling a school bus full of children out of a snowbank. This is the same Randy who put up little effort to prevent an interception in the end zone on Sunday, and who has been dominant for stretches and then non-existent in others. C’MON RANDY, you’re better than that.



Brady and Gisele Birth Out a Son

Earlier this morning, according to People Magazine, Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady welcomed the newest little bundle of joy into their family. Prior to the birth, Gisele had told Brady she didn’t wish to know the baby’s sex, preferring to be surprised; well, it’s a BOY!

The lucky, as yet unnamed lad is the first child for the happy couple and Tom’s second son, joining 2-year-old Jack. Just 9 more and he’s got his own offensive squad!

Both mother and baby are doing well.

Congrats Tom and Gisele!

Need a babysitter?



Gammons is Leaving ESPN

After 20 years, Peter Gammons has decided to leave ESPN following this week’s Winter Meetings. In a statement he released through ESPN, Gammons said that:

My decision to leave ESPN and move on at this point in my life has been conflicted. I owe a great deal of my professional life to ESPN, having spent more than half of my 40 years in journalism working for the network, and the choice to move on was made with nothing but the strongest feelings for the people with whom I worked. ESPN gave me a great deal more than I gave it, and will always be a huge part of who I am.

First, I have to imagine that ESPN didn’t fire Gammons, because let’s face it, the dude is a legend and should be able to work as long as he wants. So, why is he leaving? Is he still feeling unwell from his stroke a few years ago? Could this be a precursor to a move to MLB Network? If they don’t go after him incredibly hard it’s just foolish.

Regardless, Gammons remains one of the best baseball men out there and from reading his column every Sunday in the Boston Globe to today, he’s always been one of my favorites.

In the meantime, what does this do to ESPN’s baseball coverage, they’ve now lost Gammons and Steve Phillips and I’m guessing Ravech leaves as soon as his contract is up to go to MLB.



Gammons is joining BOTH MLB Network and NESN!


Someone Get Joey Porter a Stylist

For Joey Porter it’s a good thing that the Dolphins beat the Patriots yesterday because otherwise he would have looked like an even bigger douche. The first contest between these two teams featured plenty of jawing from Porter before the game, and then little from him DURING it. In fact he finished the day with no tackles, no sacks and nothing on the stat sheet, something the stadium scoreboard operators thought important enough to point out.

Where in the first game he was totally invisible, yesterday he actually contributed, sort of, finishing with 3 tackles and assisting on another one. After yesterday’s surprise win over the Patriots, Porter held court in the locker room with reporters and this time he was highly visible, if incredibly poorly dressed.

Hey Joey, guess what, you’re a well-paid professional football player, NOT a soldier. You want to be a soldier? Great, go sign up like Pat Tillman did. Otherwise, buy some normal clothes that help you not look like quite as much of an enormous douchenozzle. Also, last I checked, there’s not a whole lot of forests in the Miami area, so, what exactly are you trying to camouflage yourself from, I mean, I can still see you for the tool you are.

[Boston Globe]


Mike Lowell Doppelganger Teaches Cheerleaders the Sound of One Hand Fwapping

In Dover, New Hampshire police recently arrested 47-year-old Roy Chapman Jr, the Mike Lowell doppelganger was spotted by school custodians exposing himself as he sneaked a peek at the high school’s cheerleading tryouts.

After being seen, Chapman booked it, but police, with the help of a police dog, found him in the woods nearby. Police also found a small amount of weed in Chapman’s parked car in the school’s lot.

Fortunately, none of the cheerleaders saw Chapman who is being charged with indecent exposure, lewdness and possession of a controlled drug.

[WVCB via Busted Coverage]

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The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

June 2023