Al Davis finally, after leaving his coach to hang in the wind for essentially the entire season, fired the overmatched Lane Kiffin this afternoon. Now, with that albatross off their necks expect the Raiders to go undefeated from here out because of all that really excellent talent that Davis has assembled…Here is an actual photo of Davis immediately after.
You know, he doesn’t look half-bad… better than usual. Maybe he feasted on Kiffin’s young blood first.
Below is the link to my pre-season predictions on how the 2008 season would turn out. Looks like that pick of the Mariners was pretty terrible, and I totally screwed up on the AL Central but I DID pick the Rays to finish above .500 although clearly did not expect them to finish in first. C’est la vie…I also picked a Red Sox/DBacks series so, take my new predictions tomorrow with a ton of salt. I may have gotten most of my picks wrong, at least I NAILED the Nats finishing last! Let’s take a trip down to the halcyon days of late March when every team but the Pirates and Royals has a chance.
UGH! In parentheses is the actual finishing position of each team.
Al East
Red Sox (2)
Yankees (3)
Anti-Christ Rays (1)
Blue Jays (4)
Orioles (5)
AL Central
Detroit (5)
Cleveland (3)
Minnesota (1)
Chicago (1)
KC (4)
AL West
Seattle (4)
Anaheim (1)
Texas (2)
Oakland (3)
NL East
Mets (2)
Braves (4)
Phillies (1)
Marlins (3)
Nats (5)
NL Central
Chicago (1)
Cinncinati (5)
Milwaukee (2)
St louis (4)
Houston (3)
Pittsburgh (6)
NL West
Arizona (2)
LA (1)
Colorado (3)
Padres (5)
Giants (4)
WC: Cleveland (Red Sox)
WC: LA (Brewers)
Red Sox over Dbacks in 6 (TBD)
Who else is excited for the MLB playoffs! Actually, I’m not even that excited yet, I’m sure once the games start I will be, but at the moment it all feels very hum-drum. Oh well. Anyways, here are my predictions now that all of the teams and matchups are set.
ALDS
Red Sox over Angels in 5
Rays over White Sox in 4
ALCS
Red Sox over Rays in 6
NLDS
Phillies over Brewers in 4
Cubs over Dodgers in 4
NLCS
Cubs over Phillies in 5
World Series
Red Sox over Cubs in 5
World Series MVP, Jon Lester
Join us below the jump for some more thoughts.
This would be a lot more interesting if I was holding a joint...
Dolphins running back and weed afficianado Ricky Williams, who has tested positive for weed 4 times in the NFL’s substance program, as well as taking an entire season off so he could go smoke on the beaches of Asia told reporters that over the bye week he was tempted to blaze it down. Surprise!
Blaming the extra free time off, Williams said, ” [The temptation is] greater because, like, Thursday, coach told us we had Friday off, so automatically your mind, which is so constrained since training camp began — every day is a grind, it’s a grind, it’s a grind — and then Coach says `you’re free.’ And the mind says, `I’m free, what can I do?'” Clearly you roll up a joint made out of the New York Times and spark that shit!
But no, the once awesomely dreadlocked Williams conquered his temptation and resisted, by MEDITATING. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. “‘I’ve done a lot of work at understanding myself a little bit more,” Williams said. “So I recognize [the urge] was just a result of the feeling of being free, and I was just trying to maximize it. And I realize that I really enjoy meditating and when I can go home and sit in my room and meditate, I can get the same feeling.” Wait, is that true? Get high and not pay or smoke? Hmmm… maybe Ricky is onto something… Continue reading ‘Ricky Williams Wants to Get High’
So this video hit the ol’ tubes sometime yesterday and it is being purported to be a tape of the Melbourne (Florida) High School volleyball team being hazed. Even if it isn’t that school it’s still a tape of high schoolers being douchebags to one another and for that, I can post it here. If it is the volleyball team then it CERTAINLY belongs, seeing as how I love hazing!
This hazing is a little bit strange, it starts with the girls being dressed as clowns, OK, standard stuff, I’m enjoying it so far. Then the girls are herded into a circle and the random boys at this party then mercilessly beat them with pillows. I’m not quite clear on the reason for this part. It seems to me that if you’re going to allow non-team members beat the shit out of your hazees you might as well just get some mafia goons to break kneecaps. I feel like it is a violation of hazing etiquette to let the boys in. Also, at 5:50 in the clip one of the boys says “Raping is tiring,” so that’s fun! The video is a little long and punctuated with high school girls being shrill and loud, but it’s certainly interesting. After the pillow beating the senior girls take the hazees off to a beach where they will be egged and floured. Even MORE fun!
You might remember the Brewers fans last year who pledged to pee their pants if the team could actually make the playoffs for the first time since 1982. Or maybe you don’t well, regardless, after yesterday’s victory and subsequent Mets loss, the Brewers were IN, and “Brewers Mike” the creator of peeyourpantsforthebrewers.com lived up to his promise. Joining him so far are another 7206 crazed Brewers fans. To be fair, it’s unclear how many of these fans would have peed their pants irrespective of the outcome thanks to their weekly brat and beer intake. I don’t want to take too much away from the Brewers’ accomplishments and their fans dedication though, so, by all means enjoy this video, one of many that will be up on youtube as the fans live up to their pledge. Congratulations for now Milwaukee.
Jets fans, already showing poor judgement in actually being JETS fans, are clearly diseased in the brains. Take for example this smart person who parked their car in the Meadowlands’ lot and headed out into the game. Unfortunately for them, they parked their car on top of smoldering coals! Good thing too because I’m almost positive gasoline and charcoal are best buds. I do however LOVE the dude hanging out enjoying his cigar and surveying the scene, now THERE is a man who knows how to enjoy the finer car fires in life.
Here is Phillies erstwhile ace/closer/minor leaguer Brett Myers celebrating the Phillies clinching their playoff spot as the NL East winners. Myers, a noted feminist cum wife-beater, shows how he respects and appreciates women even more by showering local reporter Jamie Apody with a beer bukkake explosion. I love Myers and the other Phillies raiding the tub of beer like they are college sophomores sneaking into a party and putting all the beer in their pockets. Scared to drink champagne boys? Are you concerned that if you don’t pound Bud Lights as you spray them all over your teammates that people might start to talk?
I guess trying to be playful and get in the head of your opponent isn’t always the best tactic. Take for example this boxer who I think immediately regrets kissing his foe.
I am very excited by the Tampa Bay Abbadon Rays finally entering the playoffs, and as a divison champ no less! If they weren’t in the AL East I would be a HUGE Rays fan. I lOVE the Rays. But alas, they play my friendly Red Sox and so must be crushed in our wake. For the Sox, a team accustomed to celebrating regular and then post-season success, the celebrations have become expected, and if not for Jonathan Papelbon would be almost stale. The Rays, unsure of how to properly celebrate their moment made some mistakes but hey, they’re new to this so we’ll give them a break. Then again, here they are drinking Bud Light out of a protective cup so…
So, Johnny Gomes likes to drink in the sweat of his teammates’ junk, which is special and I guess helps foster the true spirit of comradery. Also the team managed to persuade the hipster manager, Joe Maddon into taking a healthy swig too, which is all the more impressive since Maddon is such a big oenophile. That means he likes wine a lot smart guys!
I guess F1 racing at night is a super big deal, mostly since before now it has never happened. Enter Singapore who has been prepping for some time now for this historic race. Thanks to a
floodlight system comprising 1,500 light projectors attached to 246 pylons, each 33ft tall, placed at 350-yard intervals around the circuit.
This makes it four times brighter than a floodlit football stadium and so dazzling that the drivers will need to wear special sunglasses.
Power for the lights, linked by 67 miles of cable, is provided by 48 generators churning out 3,180,000 watts – enough to provide electricity for 2,400 apartments.
Anyways the pictures of the course look pretty dope. Like an awesome videogame level that I would love to crash my virtual car into over and over.
Check out the images below and for larger versions go to the original story here and for even nicer and higher-res images, as ever, my favorite picture blog, The Big Picture has a bunch.
I know Prince Fielder is! What is it with the Brewers and the money shot, it’s like, as a team, they have the exact same fetishes. Maybe that’s taking team chemistry a little too far guys.
Anyways it’s PLAYOFFS TIME BABY! I’ll have my full predictions up tomorrow (I know you can’t WAIT) when we finally know who wins the AL Central, so long choking White Sox!
The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.
Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!
The Slanch Report 
Recent Comments