Posts Tagged ‘Citi Field


A Metaphor for the Mets Season?

gold-plated-toilet_48An unnamed woman at last Wednesday’s Mets/Braves game at Citi Field in the bathroom when, somehow, her gold tooth fell out and into the toilet bowl. With advertisements for, a company that buys gold sprinkled around the new stadium, this woman knew she was flushing cold hard cash down the toilet. So she did the only reasonable thing; try to make a diving catch only to find her arm wedged and be completely stuck. Trapped in the toilet for some time, stadium security guards eventually heard her screams and called for emergency services, but they were unable to free her. Meanwhile the toilet continued to flush over her hand again and again. Finally, a plumber was called who freed her as a crowd formed around her, watching the spectacle.

The tooth went not recovered.

According to an anonymous Queens plumber, “The truth is, this kind of thing happens all the time — usually with wedding rings or cellphones. People have probably been getting their hands stuck in toilets as long as there have been toilets.”

[NY Post]


Mets and Phillies Fans Remain Classy

Citi Field isn’t officially the home of the Mets until the fans get into a fight with heated rivals. For example, here are some Mets fans squaring off against some fans of the Phillies after the game and after a Phillies helmet gets knocked off, it starts to get real.

The best part is the description of the video on youtube which reads:

Big Forhead jew gets rocked by a drunk mets fan……he also goes out with Courtney gower from cherokee high school

I’m not quite clear why that information is important, but there it is; the internet where every retard can say anything.

Stay tuned for more of my blog!

[Sports by Brooks]


The Slanch Report Goes to Citi Field

Yesterday I finally got my chance to see my first game at the New York Mets’ new home, Citi Field; overall it was a good experience, I was able to enjoy the stadium, see the Mets blow an easily won game, watch Jerry Manuel completely mismanage and enjoy a tasty beer and sandwich. What more could you want?

I’m going to ignore the on-field actions, mostly because they were so miserable despite what should have been an awesome pitcher’s duel between Florida’s Josh Johnson and Johan Santana.

The stadium itself is gorgeous, everything looks great, the super wide concourses are almost TOO wide, but the view you have anywhere in the stadium and being able to look in on the action is AWESOME. The center field scoreboard is MASSIVE, not so much the screen itself, which is big too, but the whole structure of it is incredibly gigantic; I’d love to see it not SOOOOO covered in ads but that simply won’t ever happen so, so it goes. Loyal reader Myummers accompanied me for this game and we managed to get first row upper deck seats just walking up to the game. Here’s our view from our seats:


Of course, I forgot my camera and so was forced to settle with my phone camera for these photos, so the quality sucks. So it goes.

Myummers and I opted to forgo the not-ridiculous but still really long Shake Shack line and instead go with the delectable and short wait Blue Smoke. We both got the pulled-pork sandwich, take THAT swine flu and it was BANGING! One of the best pulled-pork sandwiches I’ve ever had, it could have been a bit bigger, especially for the price but it’s a ball game so…I also got one of the Blue Smoke Ale’s, their specialty brew, it was similarly BANGING.

The rest of the stadium is great, the food stands all had relatively short lines, the sight lines were excellent, the field looks phenomenal, all in all, I like the new Citi Field.

Some things to quibble with the stadium/game: Continue reading ‘The Slanch Report Goes to Citi Field’


The Mets Don’t Care About Their Fans

snnews shea STATEN ISLAND LITTLE LEAGUE BASEBALLWhen the New York Mets decided to cut seating capacity by 26 percent the regular fans weren’t the only ones getting kicked in the junk, the Mets also were meting out pain to 1,200 Little Leaguers. For the past 4 years, Queens Little Leagues have been involved in their own special day at Shea Stadium complete with a pre-game ceremony where the kids would get to line up around the field. I’ve been to these games, and the kids are always super psyched and it is the best thing to ever happen to them. I’d go nuts if I could have done this when I was a kid. NUTS!

Recognizing that getting these young fans now means getting them for life, the Mets have decided to CUT the promotion. Smooth.

Even the government — well, a State Senator, Frank Padavan, who represents Queens — is getting involved. “Some things transcend dollars and cents,” Padavan wrote in a letter, “Mr. Wilpon, I urge you to think of the youngsters who for years have enjoyed a day at the ballpark with their friends, teammates, coaches and parents and reconsider and do the right thing for the children. It’s a rite of passage that will leave a lifetime of memories.”

The Mets are in discussions with the Little League organizers right now, offering the kids can buy tickets, at normal cost, have no parade on the field and no other special treatment. So essentially the Mets are telling these kids to go fuck themselves. I almost want all of these Little Leaguers to become Yankee fans just because the Mets are such assholes.

“In light of the fact that the New York Mets organization enjoys generous tax breaks and subsidies from the state and the city that helped finance and build Citi Field, I believe like many others, that it is imperative that you give something back to the Queens community,” Padavan continued in his letter. “Maintaining your commitment and providing the full and adequate amount of discounted tickets to area Little Leagues is a step in the right direction.”

It’s unclear whether Padavan signed off his letter with the “You Money Grubbing Asshole,” epithet that Wilpon deserves.

[Queens Courier]


NYC Stadiums Are Ruining the World

In building their new stadiums, one would think that the Yankees and Mets would think forward and try to make their stadiums as energy-efficient as possible. Being sensible people, both teams instead made stadiums that require TWICE as much energy as the previous iterations. Smart move guys!

The two stadiums use as much electricity as 20,000 homes, with Citi Field clocking in at 11 megawatts, despite being smaller than Yankee stadium which draws a mere 9 megawatts. Shea Stadium only drew 5 megawatts of energy, meaning the new stadium draws nearly 120% more energy. Sure, part of the increase is because both stadiums feature more modern amenities, chief among them the giant HD scoreboards which require plenty of energy to power, but the lack of foresight from both teams regarding energy costs is staggering.

It’s not as though the move towards lowering energy costs is brand-new, or that stadiums can’t be green. The Nationals new stadium, which opened last season, was awarded a silver rating from the US Green Building Council for using 15% LESS energy than their previous home, RFK Stadium. That reduction leads to a savings of over $440,000 per year for the Nats to not spend on improving their team, isn’t that something either NYC team might want too? Of course, neither team sought even to be certified as “green,” and the new Giants stadium being built also has no intention of being so certified. Nicely done guys, seriously, the rest of the planet thanks you for your arrogance and overall douchery.

[NY Post]


Not a Bad Seat in the House, Except All of Those, and Those, Oh, and These

In building their new stadiums, both the New York Mets and New York Yankees decided to LOWER attendance; only 5% for the Yankees but an astounding 26% for the Mets. You’d think that if they were going to do that, and charge the exorbitant ticket prices they that are, every seat would be phenomenal. Of course, since both franchises could care less about the average fan, that is not the case. Say you want to go to a Yankees game and all you can afford is one of these 1,048 seats in the bleachers, well, I hope you didn’t have any desire to see any of the action that happens in left field or at third base. But don’t worry, hardly anything important ever happens in those areas…

The view from section 201, in the center-field bleachers at the new Yankee Stadium. The wall is part of the Mohegan Sun Sports Bar.

The view from section 201, in the center-field bleachers at the new Yankee Stadium. The wall is part of the Mohegan Sun Sports Bar.

Yankees officials say that they will be placing televisions along the wall so fans can follow along but why pay for tickets if you’re just going to have to watch the game on TV anyways? Even classier, it wasn’t until Newsday had a story about these obstructed view seats that the Yankees announced an “invoicing problem” had erroneously listed all of those seats as the same price of other, non-obstructed bleacher seats. The shitty seats were supposed to be only $5, not $12; of course the Yankees website still doesn’t reflect that change leading me to believe that the Yankees could care less about me, you or anyone not paying $2500 for their individual tickets.

Citi Field has sight-line problems of its own too;

Steven Gottesman, who has a 15-game ticket plan, went to see his four seats in Section 533, Row 15, near the top of the upper deck down the left-field line. To his ‘shock and horror,’ he could not see the warning track or about 20 feet of the outfield from the left-field line to center field. ‘In other words, I will only know if a home run is hit if I am listening to a radio at the game or I wait to see the sign from the umpire,’ Gottesman, 45, said in an e-mail message. ‘If Endy Chávez made his catch in this new stadium and I had been there, I would not have seen it.’

To be fair, commenters Youppi and the roomate were AT that Endy Chavez catch game, and were sitting so high up that they too were unable to see it, so Shea wasn’t immune to this problem. However, Shea was built in the 60s and Citi Field is supposed to be state-0f-the-art, not a gigantic concrete toilet…Don’t worry Mets fans, the team is on it!

Dave Howard, the Mets’ vice president for business operations admitted that the seats in Section 533 are angled in such a way that fans will be unable to see the warning track and some of the field. He said the team has no plans to lower its ticket prices or label the seats in question as having obscured views.

Sweet thanks guys! It’s nice to know you appreciate the people who are coming to watch your miserable product choke away the season once more. This is just another excellent business decision from the Mets, like giving Luis Castillo $25 million or having Livan Hernandez as the 5th starter. Assholes.

The only good news coming out of Citi Field so far is that a 12-ounce beer, formerly $7.50 at Shea will only cost $6, so getting belligerently drunk will almost be reasonable, or you could aways indulge in a $17 lobster roll instead…Other food price cuts include popcorn, down to $4.25, knishes (I can’t believe no one told me there were KNISHES at Shea!) down to $3.75, water down $.50 to $3.75 and Pepsi, a quarter less at $4.75.

[NY Times]


Step Right in to Citi Field

Since it seems to be wall-to-wall new NYC stadia today, here is a video of Mets owner Jeff Wilpon giving a tour of Citi Field; it looks dope, I can’t wait to see it in 3-5 years.


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April 2020