Archive for August, 2009

31
Aug
09

Danny Granger IS Batman

340x24a2ca9ejc9Danny Granger is a middling NBA player toiling away on the Indiana Pacers. However, he’s more than just a basketball player; he’s also a huge fan of the superhero genre and in particular Batman. Being a young millionaire has some perks; at his home in New Mexico Granger is building a real-life Batcave.

He’s recently hit a small snag with the state’s building codes, but it isn’t enough to stop the project, tentatively expected to be liveable in a year or 2. The Batcave will include a garage and a surrounding moat 

“He likes to dabble in different things,” says his agent, Mark Bartelstein.

This is awesome, the only issue I have is that only Batman can build a Batcave, so either Granger IS Batman, in which case he TOTALLY just blew his secret identity, or he’s a poseur. Which is it Danny?

[WSJ via Sports by Brooks]

31
Aug
09

The Mets are the Best Run Organization

failureThey moved into a tax-payer financed $1 billion stadium with incredibly high ticket prices but the cost of featuring the second highest payroll in the majors and being bilked out of hundreds of millions of dollars by Bernie Madoff has left the Mets DESPERATE for cash.

Amidst rumors in the last few weeks that the Wilpons may be forced to sell the team, another example of the team’s anemic finances came when former GM Jim Duquette reported that the team has canceled their normal off-season instructional league.

Makes sense, after all the Mets prospects have been thriving recently… And if their current AAA lineup — excuse me, that’s their MAJOR LEAGUE LINEUP! — is any sign, things are robust down on the farm…

“There’s a lot of talk and I believe this is information that has not gotten out,” said Duquette, [on his XM radio show] “… The Mets have made a decision, and some organizations do this, but they’ve decided not to have what’s called their instructional league, which is, for their minor leagues, it’s an opportunity to develop [and] continue to develop your young players. And there’s some debate within circles over the past couple years the true value of instructional league but most organizations have a version of it. They’re not going to do it. Now the rumors within the scouting circles are that they can’t afford – which it roughly costs about 300 grand to staff and to invite and fly down all the players, to having meals throughout for about, it’s like a 4 to 5 week program. It gives you a chance to extend the development of your young players, of your prospects. And they’re not gonna have it.   They have cancelled it for this fall. And to me, being a development guy, that’s big news. If you’re development oriented, it’s not a good decision in my opinion.” 

Look, I get that the Wilpons lost a shitload of money, but to not be able to afford a couple hundred thousand dollars? Maybe if they didn’t have AWFUL management who outlays millions upon millions of dollars on wastes of roster space like Oliver Perez and Livan Hernandez or Omar Minaya they’d be able to develop young, cheap talent.

Quick, name the last successful Mets prospect to last a full effective season, I’d say no one since David Wright. And that was YEARS ago. But sure, cancel the instructional leagues…

The Mets are pretending that they will be doing a similar camp in the Dominican instead saying in a statement:

In a reevaluation of the Mets minor league operations, the club made the decision to move our Fall Instructional League to our new Dominican Academy in Boca Chica from Port St. Lucie, Fla. We believe that by housing our minor league players in the Dominican, we will have more opportunities to have competition against opposing teams that have training facilities nearby.

Say whatever they want, I firmly believe this is because the Mets were too cheap — or too poor — to go about the process of actually developing their own players.

But then, I’m a Mets hater right…

[NY Daily News]

31
Aug
09

Rugby Player Takes 2-Tons Off the Face

emmawinchEmma Winch and her rugby team were camping out by the Aberaeron Rugby Club, near Aberystwyth, West Wales prior to their match the following day. While she and two teammates were asleep in their tent, members of the unpronounceable youth team Merthyr Tydfil were pounding back booze and decided a fun prank was in order.

So they took a 5 foot wide cast-iron roller that checks in at a robust 2-tons and rolled it down a hill. At the bottom of the hill, among others, was Winch’s tent.

“I heard it coming. There was like a lot of banging and then I heard people laughing,” Winch recalled, “I stopped the roller with my head. My face was numb so I couldn’t feel much. I have had a lucky escape.”

She was taken to a local hospital before being airlifted to another, better-equipped facility where she is expected to make a full recovery.  

After the incident, 21 members of Merthyr Tydfil were arrested by police who conducted a flashlight identity search on the campsite.

One witness said: “‘There were three of them in the tent when lads from a visiting club thought it would be fun to set the roller free. It was on the top of a slight hill and they pushed it to get it going, knowing there were people camping in its path. It was a crazy, stupid thing to do  –  the young woman could have been killed.”

[Daily Mail]

28
Aug
09

We’re All Better Off with Doppelgangers

The Texas Rangers have progressed greatly this season, propelling themselves right into the thick of the wild-card race. At the beginning of the season and last year there were rumors that manager Ron Washington’s job was on the rocks. With the team’s success this season though, it looks like he’ll receive a well-deserved stay of execution. Malcolm Barrett plays Lem on the ABC sitcom Better off Ted, a show that I have never heard of and never seen. In fact, I have never knew Barrett existed until loyal doppelganger spotter the sister pointed this one out to me the other day. I buy it. Do you?

Please vote in the poll below to let this doppelganger venture into the magical land that is the permanent doppelganger page.

 

WashingtonBarrett

28
Aug
09

Schisms Don’t Cause Burning When You Pee

While the Brett Favre circus continues in Minnesota, reporters have been asking various Vikings if there is a schism in the locker room with the-one-who-won’t-go-away’s presence. Noted intellectual Jared Allen had by far the quote of the week regarding the issue:

I don’t think anyone on this team knows what ‘schism’ is, let alone could use it in a sentence. I thought it was an STD when I first heard it and I was like ‘whoa, we preach abstinence in these parts.’

[Sporting News]

28
Aug
09

The WNBA Loses to Sesame Street

871-sesame-street-liveDuring the NBA playoffs the Denver Nuggets and the WWE had a standoff over the double-booking of the Pepsi Center. The Nuggets won out and held their playoff game.

Clearly the efforts to make the WNBA a worthwhile sports league have been a wasted effort.

The Atlanta Dream (stupid name) are on the verge of a playoff spot, with 6 games left to play they feature a robust 15-13 record. That might be a problem though. You see, “Sesame Street Live!” has booked the Phillips Arena and NO ONE puts Oscar in the corner.

Even if the Dream manage to make the playoffs, they won’t have access to their home arena, with the Muppets in place for 8 shows from September 17-20. Possible options for the Dream include holding games in Gwinnet, GA or at Georgia Tech, which is exactly what you would expect from a “major” sport league’s playoffs.

The WNBA, where felt-covered puppets are more popular and important!

Maybe the WNBA should sign up Big Bird whose sex has never really been determined, you can’t teach height after all…

[Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

28
Aug
09

Pee in the Shower, For the Kids

Water conversation is an important issue, particularly it seems in Brazil where they came up with this creative PSA. As a means of encouraging people to pee in the shower – which according to this ad can save 1,157 gallons of water per year — the ad uses a number of celebrity likenesses, including Stephen Hawking and King Kong. Most interesting was their usage of His Airness himself, Michael Jordan. Is Jordan a shower-pee-er?

[Sporting News]

28
Aug
09

College Mascots are Beyond Weird

College sports are stupid. We know this. I am adamant about this. However, colleges feature some of the silliest and scariest mascots out there. Many of them are completely non-sensical, like the Texas A&M-Corpus Cristi Islanders or the Wichita State Shockers or the clearly acid-tripped inspired Stanford Tree below.  Check out this gallery assembled from photos from the Life magazine archives and check out the full thing by going HERE.

Stanford Trees

Stanford Trees

[Life]

28
Aug
09

A Moob Filled Doppelganger

When Bill Parcells arrived in New England to take the reins of the Patriots the entire culture changed. He brought with him a history of success and demolished the culture of losing that had defined the Patriots ad nauseam. He also brought over a surly defensive coordinator with a propensity for grey sweatshirts who has become probably the greatest coach in NFL history. Having been in comedy for years, but with limited national success, Lenny Clark is one of the most naturally funny people in the business. He also once in the 80s while doing stand-up in Cambridge, MA stole a city bus and drove around making the stops on a dare. Beyond the moobs that both men share, they also share a distinctive facial resemblance too.

Agree or not, vote in the poll below to express yourself and as ever check out the complete doppelganger warehouse gathered on the permanent page.

ParcellsClark

27
Aug
09

That’s One Tough Kid

From the semi-finals Little League World Series game between the Japanese team and Mexican team comes this clip of one of the Japanese players taking a fastball off the chin. Look at how stoic he is about it. I’m not sure he even BLINKS. Sure, you spit some blood and teeth out but you take your lumps and go down the line. That’s OLD SCHOOL.

27
Aug
09

Are We Sure He Doesn’t Play for the Mets?

aloisio-sao-paulo1Talk about making a notable debut; Aloisio is a striker on the second-division Brazilian soccer club Vasco da Gama who managed to knock himself unconscious in a unique manner. After colliding with an opponent, Aloisio choked on his chewing gum, losing consciousness for several minutes on the field.

“It was a very serious situation,” Vasco doctor Paulo Cesar Rocha said. “Luckily we identified the problem quickly and took the gum out to help him breathe again.”

With a propensity to get injured AND a propensity for choking I can’t believe Omar Minaya isn’t on a plane right now, contract in hand.

“I don’t remember a lot,” Aloisio told the media. “I only remember the doctor taking the gum out. I have never been scared like this — no more chewing gum for me.”

[Fox Sports]

27
Aug
09

A Tale of Two Cities

pe0060434In Houston, Texas, fans at Reliant Stadium may find their thirsts not quite quenched. Where once their cups overfloweth with 24 ounces of great tasting, less filling beer, now their cups runneth dry with a mere 20 ounces. The price, obviously, remains the same.

Vice President for Communications Tony Wyllie had this to say: “If we’d served 24 ounces this year, the price would be higher. Honestly, it was more of a responsibility decision [to try and cut down heavy drinking]. It wasn’t a business decision. … We as the Texans wanted to do the most responsbile thing.”

You bet! This has NOTHING to do with the team making more money…

And to only point out how ass-backwards America is next to our European compatriots, German soccer team Bayern Munich — who are currently stuck in 14th place — will give out 7,000 liters of free beer before their game on Saturday.

Hmm. Less beer for the same price or FREE beer… hmm…hmm… You know, I’m switching allegiances. I’m now a Football fan. You win this round Germany.

[Houston Chronicle and Yahoo]




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