Posts Tagged ‘Douches


Tampa Fans 100% Not Classy

After the Tampa Bay Buccaneers “honored” Mike Alstott by retiring his jersey and reminding him that he has been a part of a dysfunctional, idiotic franchise because they weren’t able to figure out how to put a properly spelled uniform on him, you’d think that would be the end of the story. But, it turns out that Tampa fans are just as douchey as the organization. For attending the game, fans were given a special Mike Alstott bobblehead. Fans were so touched and impacted by this that DURING THE GAME they were putting the bobbleheads up for sale on eBay. Now that’s celebrating a true Tampa “legend.”

[Orlando Sentinel]


When a Win Isn’t a Win *(UPDATE)*

Due to an outpouring of negative responses from media and the general populace at Nike’s doucherie, they have changed their minds regarding Arien O’Connell and have declared her to be “a” winner in the Nike Women’s Marathon. Since they already awarded winner’s awards to another, despite that woman finishing 11 minutes behind O’Connell, she is only declared a winner as opposed to THE winner, which of course, she is. O’Connell will receive the same prize money and trophy as the “elite” runner did and to make sure that this embarrassment never happens to Nike again, they’ve opted to eliminate the elite runner category and everyone will start at the same time next year. At least the right thing was eventually done, it’s just a shame that Nike had essentially to be shamed into doing it.

[San Francisco Gate]


The Frying Hawaiian Strikes Again

Shane Victorino has been a pest these playoffs, with a huge grand slam in the first round and then being a catalyst towards a benches emptying standing around “fight,” but now he’s REALLY done it, he’s angered PETA. After revealing that his favorite food is Spam musubi, the Flying Hawaiian has irked the publicity whores over at PETA who sent him a letter about their recent investigations into the pig farm that supplies the manufacturer of Spam. “We suspect that the cruelty in every can of Spam will infuriate Shane more than a high Hiroki Kuroda fastball,” says Dan Shannon, PETA’s assistant director, in a note. “If Shane likes Spam a lot, he should buy tickets to the Broadway play but leave it off his dinner plate.”

Several things about this story interest me. One, Shane Victorino has poor taste in food. Two, who knew that Spam actually came from pigs! Three, PETA has GOT to get a life and get over themselves. Four, Don Shannon LOVES shitty puns. When the story was brought to the attention of a Phillies PR rep, the rep said he’d ask Victorino for a comment, after the World Series. After the jump is the letter from PETA, an organization that I wish would just stick to real animal rights issues.

And a hearty h/t to for the “Frying Hawaiian” bit.


Continue reading ‘The Frying Hawaiian Strikes Again’


High School is Hard

So this video hit the ol’ tubes sometime yesterday and it is being purported to be a tape of the Melbourne (Florida) High School volleyball team being hazed. Even if it isn’t that school it’s still a tape of high schoolers being douchebags to one another and for that, I can post it here. If it is the volleyball team then it CERTAINLY belongs, seeing as how I love hazing!

This hazing is a little bit strange, it starts with the girls being dressed as clowns, OK, standard stuff, I’m enjoying it so far. Then the girls are herded into a circle and the random boys at this party then mercilessly beat them with pillows. I’m not quite clear on the reason for this part. It seems to me that if you’re going to allow non-team members beat the shit out of your hazees you might as well just get some mafia goons to break kneecaps. I feel like it is a violation of hazing etiquette to let the boys in. Also, at 5:50 in the clip one of the boys says “Raping is tiring,” so that’s fun! The video is a little long and punctuated with high school girls being shrill and loud, but it’s certainly interesting. After the pillow beating the senior girls take the hazees off to a beach where they will be egged and floured. Even MORE fun!

[Bad Jocks]


Jose Canseco Will Do ANYTHING For Money

Fox’ piece of television trash, Moment of Truth, has signed on the biggest money grubber of them all, Jose Canseco. The show, on which participants are asked the most personal and embarrassing of questions and, if they are willing to tell the true answers to a national audience it is worth cash, is likely to lose a lot of money on Canseco since the man has zero shame and doesn’t care who he takes down with him.

According to KLAC AM 570 in LA:

Canseco already has taped the episode and according to my source that was in attendance during the taping, Canseco was asked if he ever injected Mark McGwire with steroids and if he ever corked his bat among other questions that were asked during the taping. The episode of “The Moment of Truth” with Canseco is supposed to air in late September or early October.

I wonder how much Fox is going to be pushing that during the MLB playoffs. The biggest issue I have, besides that such an awful piece of television exists in the first place, is that the questions and his responses are taped before the show ever airs, all that matters is that he answers the same as he did before. I have no doubt that Jose believes most of the drivel that he speaks, whether it is true or not, and lie detectors are merely tracking whether or not you are lying, if Canseco believes it to be true than it won’t show up as a lie. I hope this doesn’t hurt Jose’s chances at an MLB comeback, because I feel like he was really really close…

[Sports by Brooks]


It’s One Series…

I don’t know who exactly this guy is saluting, but I’m glad that Sox fans are staying classy. Sigh. It’s shit like this that’s why everyone hates us.

[Red Sox Monster]


Shawn Chacon Chokes His Way Out of the Majors

We all think about doing it, but for most people, common sense kicks in and we don’t indulge our inner demons. I’m of course referring to the our inner desires to kick our respective bosses asses. Well, Shawn Chacon found his breaking point on Wednesday and grabbed general manager Ed Wade by the throat and throwing him to the ground and then jumping on top of him.

That’s certainly a way to express your displeasure at being removed from the rotation over the weekend. Of course, when you begin the season with 9 straight no-decisions and are currently 2-3 with an ERA over 5 in 15 starts, maybe it’s not the GM’s fault…

“I sat down to eat and Ed Wade came to me and very sternly said, ‘You need to come with me to the office,'” Chacon said. “I said ‘for what?’ I said ‘I don’t want to go to the office with you and Cooper.’ And I said, ‘You can tell me whatever you got to tell me right here.’ He’s like, ‘Oh, you want me to tell you right here?’ And I said, ‘yeah.’ I’m not yelling. I’m calm.”

Continue reading ‘Shawn Chacon Chokes His Way Out of the Majors’

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April 2020