Archive for November 30th, 2009


Erin Andrews Wants to Make Sure You Notice the Herpes

After the University of Texas’ defeat of rival Texas A&M on Thursday, star QB Colt McCoy stopped with Erin Andrews after the game for a quick chat. America’s sideline princess is all class calling out attention to the herpes explosion on his lip that he of course insisted was from “biting his lip.”

Sure thing, Danny.


The Penguins and Steelers Suggest You Pack it Up

As weird as it is to believe, over the last decade the second-best city for championships has been Pittsburgh. Sure, the Pirates are miserable, but 2 Steelers championships, a Penguins Cup and multiple late-round playoff trips for both teams shows that the Pittsburgh is a force to be reckoned with. On the heels of success comes entrepreneurs eager to exploit it for their own gain and the Steel City is no exception.

If you’re a big-time Penguins or Steelers fan forget replica jerseys, t-shirts or beer cozies, there’s only one true way to show everyone how much you care; “tobacco pipes.”

Now, I’d never get one of these, not my style (or teams) but if I had to choose, you gotta go with the Penguins one right? I mean, the color scheme is just so much better, and let’s face it, style matters.

[Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies]


Finally a Race for the Rest of Us: The Beer Mile

On Saturday 22 brave competitors showed up to a Ottawa track for the annual end to the racing season, the Beer Mile.

At the start of the race the participants all chug a beer then do a quarter-mile lap around the track, upon returning to the starting line they must chug another beer before running another lap. The pattern continues until 4 beers and 4 laps have been completed.

That is provided of course that you don’t puke along the way, that results in an extra penalty lap.

The rest of the rules are pretty reasonable, the most important is that there are no chugging aids allowed, whether it’s wide-mouth cans, straws or shot-gunning allowed.

There are also requirements on the type of beverage allowed, no wussy stuff allowed, before the race began on Saturday the judges made an announcement. “We already have our first disqualification. Bud Light Lime is not allowed.”

First-time participant Jamie Stephenson took home the title, besting the defending champion Ryan Grant.

“I’m not a big beer drinker,” Stephenson said, “so I went to the Beer Store and asked them what they would recommend. There was actually quite a debate in the store. And finally they recommended Steam Whistle.”

“I’ve got a cast-iron stomach,” he said. “It doesn’t matter what I eat or drink, I can still run. The only time I felt anything was coming around the last corner. I had a bit of an oh-oh moment. So I just put my head down and ran.”

Race organizer David Markin (left) was not as skilled as the winners, he was still drinking when they were done and mingling with the crowd.

“I’m not a very good drinker,” Markin replied, between gulps. “I drink four beers in one night only once a year.”

Women’s winner Heather Ireland overcame the early discovery that chugging was going to be even harder than she expected.

“The running is the easy part,” said Heather Ireland, the winner of the ladies division. “On the first beer, I thought, ‘No way.’ I don’t normally chug beer and I was thinking I can’t even get one down. But by the third, it got a little easier.”

Ireland paused and then added, “It’s not a very classy race.”

[Ottawa Citizen]


Sidney Crosby Just Got 15,000 New Hats

For Saturday’s Penguins game, the fans at the Igloo were given free Penguins hats. Sidney Crosby knew the burden that put on his team financially and so he decided to make sure the Penguins could recoup that loss, midway through the 3rd period he deposited his third goal of the night into the back of the net. And then the hats, oh how they rained down upon the ice, (check out the 2:14 mark when it is just a torrent of hats flying down to the ice.)



Birdman’s Whip Will Destroy Everything in its Path

Denver Nugget power forward/center Chris “Birdman” Andersen is one of the more interesting players in the NBA, not much of a wallflower, Andersen loves attracting attention. Whether it is for his many tattoos, often bizarre hairstyles or for suspensions for drug abuse, Andersen likes the spotlight. I think it’s fair to say that his new ride is sure to attract attention around Denver; after all, it’s hard to be inconspicuous when you’re  rolling around in a giant, highly modified SportChassis P4XL with 22.5″ rims, custom Italian leather interior, suede headliner and a giant chrome grille.

[Celebrity Carz via Jalopnik]


Ana Ivanovic Gets Dressed Months in Advance

I’m not a professional tennis player and so I have no idea of the clothes I’ll be wearing in January; Ana Ivanovic IS a professional tennis player and so she (or more accurately adidas tennis) announced what she’ll be wearing at the upcoming Australian Open. This smart yellow dress took 18 months of development and design to come to light, and she wears it with panache. Then again, when you’re as attractive as the 22-year-old tennis star is, pretty much EVERYTHING you wear is going to look good.



Ex-Cricketer is Making Art at 100 MPH

Earlier in the decade with some of their matches rained out, British cricketer Ashley Giles took his teammate (and English team captain) Michael Vaughan to some art galleries outside London. Those visits stuck with Vaughan and after he retired in 2005 from the game, he’s taken to the art world.

Combining his two interests, Vaughan creates abstract artistic pieces through a process he calls “artballing” where he bats paint-smeared cricket balls at speeds over 100 mph against a canvas to create his unique works in a very  Maude-Lebowski-esque manner.

Working in a warehouse in Yorkshire, Vaughan said: “It is a very rare thing to be able to follow a career path that you love and the opportunity to combine my two greatest passions – art and cricket – has been a sublime moment in an extraordinary life of highs and low, dreams and sometimes nightmares.

“Artballing captures the drama, speed and excitement of cricket in one precious, dynamic visual moment that…lasts a lifetime.”


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The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

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November 2009