Archive for November 9th, 2009

09
Nov
09

Hottie Tennis Player Takes a Break on the Beach

At this past September’s US Open Caroline Wozniacki became the media darling, coming almost out of nowhere to finish second, upping her in the world rankings to 6th overall. Many fans and media alike were charmed by her youthful style, energy, and of course, the fact that she is uber-cute. Of course, we were already well-versed in Caroline since the beginning of the summer when she appeared at Wimbledon and was giving center-court treatment in no small part due to her good-looks.

After playing a tournament in the stifling heat of Doha, Qata she was suffering from cramps and stomach pains and lost to Serena Williams in the semi-finals. Needing a break, Caroline took off to Mauritius with three of her friends, making it the first vacation the 19-year-old has taken sans parents, “I deserve it,” said a smiling Caroline Wozniacki prior to boarding a flight from Doha to the island retreat.

As part of her newfound celebrity, Wozniacki now has paparazzi tracking her movements meaning her privacy is severely limited; unfortunate for her but it means we get some shots of her in a bikini on the beach, and I don’t mind that trade-off.

Caroline Wozniacki 10

[Ekstra Bladet via Sports by Brooks]

09
Nov
09

You Don’t Need Much to Make it Big in America

Michael BufferMichael Buffer has been the ring announcer for some of the most famous boxing matches in recent history, he has played such diverse roles as “Ring Announcer,” “Boxing Announcer,” and “Announcer” in over 24 movies and television shows, and — here’s the thing that will really burn your ass — he’s made millions of millions of dollars off of a mere 5 words.
Now 65-years-old, Buffer has been THE go-go-guy for booming voices in a boxing arena. His catchphrase “Let’s Get Ready to Rumble” has been trademarked and made him insanely successful and wealthy. Since trademarking it, Buffer has generated over $400 MILLION in revenue, ranging from video games, merchandise, music and television. In addition, he makes some lucrative coin doing personal appearances — although you have to be a special caliber of sucker to pay money to meet the guy who announces the fight. In fact, Buffer actually makes more from his trademark than he does from actually announcing fights.
$400 MILLION!???!!
I will now proceed to light myself on fire.
09
Nov
09

“This is Un-Be-LIEV-Able”

The Breeder’s Cup Classic is one of the single largest purses in horse-racing, with the winner taking home $5 million, making it one of the most sought after prizes in the sport. Among the horses running was Zenyatta, a Kentucky-bred filly who had won all 13 races she previously entered.

The Breeder’s Cup did not start off well for her though, after the first few furlongs Zenyatta was in dead last. By the time the pack was passing the stands for the second time though, Zenyatta was FLYING, and took home a most surprising and incredible victory to make her record a perfect 14-14.

Even if you couldn’t care less about horse racing, watch the first 2 minutes of this race because it’s pretty fucking incredible.

09
Nov
09

Ty Law’s Throat is Going to Get Sore

p1_tylawFormer All-Pro Ty Law came out of his forced retirement to sign with the Denver Broncos, and is expected to play, sparingly probably, during tonight’s game against Pittsburgh.

It sounds like his teammates are being a bit rough on the potential future Hall of Famer. “They’re trying to get me ready to play this week in a limited fashion,” Law said,  “…But right now they’re just shoving a lot down my throat…”

Yikes. I guess that’s one way to bring a team together, hey, it worked for the Minnesota Vikings

[AP]

09
Nov
09

Brawl With Axes and Spears Breaks Out at AFL Game

brawlDuring an Australian Rules Football game Sunday a brawl (not picture) featuring several hundred people, some armed with axes and spears, broke out. Initially the fighting began on the field when one team was awarded a free kick. This, obviously led to such a massive free-for-all that, when the police arrived on scene, they legitimately feared for their own safety.

“As you can imagine, even when a number of police cars turn up, when you’ve got a crowd that’s potentially 500-strong, it’s difficult to take proactive action at the time,” Superintendent Brent Warren told reporters, “That’s why we tend to respond to these kind of incidents by doing the follow-up investigation the next day and taking action against individuals we can identify later on. Police are confident they have identified some of the people involved.”

The nascent Groote Eytlandt football league only began about 6 months ago and will be responsible for disciplining the players involved. The police believe, though that “the sport is really important for the community,” Warren said, “As a result of what happened the police will be maintaining a presence at all Groote Eylandt football matches until the end of the season. The behaviour that was displayed yesterday is just not acceptable and we won’t tolerate it.”

[Sydney Morning Herald]

09
Nov
09

Brusha Brusha Brusha

British dentistry is usually an easy target for comedians so one fan at the Chelsea and Manchester United match this weekend tried to change the public perception. Taking in a hard-fought soccer from the stands shouldn’t mean you have to suffer through an unclean mouth. Fortunately, he brought his own toothbrush with him. Unless they sell them at the concessions stands, in which case, I have a series of jokes about British dentistry I’d like to make.

[Asylum]




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

November 2009
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  

Categories