Archive for November 2nd, 2009

02
Nov
09

You Outta Know… Alanis Morissette’s Marathon Time

edward-norton_photo-credit-lou-rouseMarathons attract thousands of insane people, I mean, the race is supposed to be based on a soldier running for 26 miles to tell Athens about their victory over the Persians, but last I checked, we have cell phones now and there is simply no good reason to ever run that far. What makes even less sense is to run that far in New York City where there is a GIANT public transit system. Really, these people should just take the subway, they’d get wherever they’re going easier and without pooping on themselves.

Among the 43,000 participants in Sunday’s NYC Marathon were some people who are far more important than the rest of us, REAL celebrities and not runners. Among the stars who tied up their New Balances and gave it a go were Anthony Edwards (his time was 4:08:20), Alanis Morrissette crossed the finish line in a casual 4:28:45, the late Christopher Reeve’s son Matthew did the race in 4:23:06 but best of all was the finish by Edward Norton. The 40-year-old actor finished the grueling course in a mere 3:48:01, meaning he averaged under 9 minutes a mile, not too shabby at all.

The celebrities were all running for charities, Norton was running for the Massai Wilderness Conservation Trust and joining him in the running were 3 Masai tribesman. After the race Norton wanted to do just one thing,
“I’m going to get a piece of pizza!” he said.

Me, I’d pass out. But then, I’m much more of an athlete.

[People]

02
Nov
09

You Will Not See a Better Catch This Week

If you know of a better catch made this week in football I’d love to see it. Otherwise, Missouri’s Jerrell Jackson gets the title this week. This circus catch is simply ridiculous, how he even managed to grab it when the pass was well behind him, let along with one hand, and then to hang on and finish the play?

Wow.

[Sports By Brooks]

02
Nov
09

Where Andy Reid Learns How to Do the Bump

Andy Reid

02
Nov
09

The Form Was Perfect, Tackling Your Own Teammate Though?

Mauriece McIver of the Las Vegas Cobras is a semi-professional football player. The semi part is particularly obvious in this clip of his team returning a punt. Despite being on the receiving team McIver just clearly loves to tackle anybody near him, as evidenced by him TACKLING HIS OWN TEAMMATE! This being in Vegas I can only assume he was in on a fix.

Sure, he can act all penitent immediately afterwards and yes, the uniform tops are sort of similar, BUT one team has YELLOW pants, the other doesn’t, how hard is it to remember that? Or to remember you’re RECEIVING THE KICK!?!?

[Deadspin]

02
Nov
09

I Guess We’re Setting the Bar Really Low for “Good”

JaMarcus RussellAfter Oakland’s 26-14 loss to the Chargers on Sunday, embattled quarterback JaMarcus Russell spoke with reporters regarding his performance.

I did a pretty good job. When it all boils down to it, you had a chance at the end to try and win. Didn’t do too much damage with the interception. No matter what happened, I think we came out and fought despite the score and just kept pushing and just came out short in the end.

He must be using a different definition of “good” because when you have a $61 million contract you should probably be doing better than going 14-22 for a mere 109 yards, especially when you have no TDs, an interception, 5(!) sacks and a fumble. That to me doesn’t spell G-O-O-D, more like pathetic. Or shitacular.

I would like whatever drugs Jamarcus is on that enables him to hallucinate so powerfully.

[Contra Costa Times]

02
Nov
09

D-Wade Plays 1-on-5

Dwyane Wade over the weekend scored his 10,000 point in his NBA career, making him the 43rd player in league history to reach that plateau. He celebrated by taking on all 5 Chicago Bull s and making them look foolish.

02
Nov
09

This is How You Celebrate Scoring

I don’t have any idea where this is from, who is playing or anything else that would help clarify this clip, but all I know is that this is an excellent way to celebrate scoring a goal. It’s just a shame no one was there to see it.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

02
Nov
09

At Least There’s SOME Good News in Buffalo

Buffalo Bills fans have lived through bad season after bad season, their heyday at the early 90s is a football lifetime away but all is not lost for Buffalonians, at least arrests at the game are down! As this headline from the Buffalo News announces:

Buffalo Lousy GameCan’t argue with that! After only 14 arrests at the game the local police chief, Andrew Benz said “That’s about half than what it’s been running. I don’t know what to tell you.”

Just because their team is mired in abject wretchedness doesn’t mean the fans aren’t still clever. Take Bryan Bendo,Steven Henry and James Hester, three Canadians who “borrowed” a golf cart and rode it to the gate. A Bills employee had reported the theft of the cart and all three were arrested after rolling up to gate 1. That’s some balls there.

Hey, hang in there Buffalo, at least you still have… um… MTV filmed that shitty Frats and Sororities show there…

[Buffalo News]

02
Nov
09

Need to Save a Raider Fan From the Black Hole?

You have to love local advertising, usually it looks like it is filmed on a household camcorder from 1996 with a script that was written by the 3rd graders of Ms. Sybil’s class but this ad from before the Chargers/Raiders game this past Sunday is simply too good to pass up. Sure, the imagery is more than a bit repetitive but the end tag-line more than makes up for it.

After all, what group of fans needs bail bondsmen more often than Raiders fans?

02
Nov
09

Some Auto Erotica — Don’t Choke!

Now I’m not much of a car guy, my last car was a Corolla after all, but for those of you out there who are into this sort of thing, here is some incredible hot car porn for you. These are some super-luxury private garages and exotic car collections that’ll make even someone not that into cars drool with envy and desire. If someone would just give me a couple million bucks I could make one of these garages and I promise I’ll take pictures of it for you guys to enjoy as I fill it with sweet rides. The line to give me money forms to the right.

I must say that these all-glass ones where the car is parked in the living room are pretty goddamn sick. Although it is a bit depressing when you see cars living in far far far nicer places than where I get to sleep. There’s a TON more photos at the link below if you’re so inclined to torture yourself with things that most people never get a chance to own.4034307626_ef6577595a_o

[Luxury 4 Play]

02
Nov
09

Manu Ginobli is Batman

You couldn’t script this better; Halloween featured a full slate of games in the NBA, including one between the Spurs and Kings that featured a surprise flying guest, a bat! In the first quarter the flying mammal swooped down onto the court. While the Spurs mascot tried to corral the creature with a net it took the incredibly fast hands of the Spurs’ Manu Ginobili who, with one quick slap, knocked the bat out of the air and to the ground, so it could be removed from the arena.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Wow.

[Ball Don’t Lie]

02
Nov
09

Turns Out Agassi Was Wearing a Piece the Whole Time

Andre AgassiAndre Agassi’s publicists are doing an excellent job of marketing his upcoming autobiography; first they released an excerpt where he talks about doing crystal meth and now he’s admitting that his long flowing hairstyle that he was famous for in the 90s was, in fact, a wig.

If we can’t count on honesty from our tennis stars our society is already lost.

In his 1990 French Open final (his first Grand Slam final) Agassi’s was concerned before the match “not for victory, but that my hairpiece would not fall off”, he writes in “Open”.

As his hair started falling out Agassi faced an inner struggle, “Every morning I would get up and find another piece of my identity on the pillow, in the wash basin, down the plughole.”

“I asked myself: you want to wear a toupee? On the tennis court? I answered myself; what else could I do?”

That French Open final was especially frightening for Agassi because the wig began to fall apart after he took a shower the night before. In a panic, Agassi and his brother pinned and clipped the wig back together in a slap-dash job that he wasn’t sure if it would hold.

“With each leap, I imagine [the wig] falling into the sand. I imagine millions of spectators move closer to their TV sets, their eyes widening and, in dozens of dialects and languages, ask how Andre Agassi’s hair has fallen from his head.”

His then-wife Brooke Shields finally convinced him to move on from the wig.

“She said I should shave my head,” he said. “It was like suggesting I should have all my teeth out.

“Nevertheless, I thought for a few days about it, about the agonies it caused me, the hypocrisy and lies.”

Agassi’s hair wasn’t real! I don’t know what to believe anymore, I feel like my whole childhood was a lie. I don’t think I could be more surprised than if you told me Ray Bourque spent the entire 1990s shooting heroin and was a highly successful art thief in the offseason.

[Yahoo!]




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