Archive for November 18th, 2009


Drunk and Crazy is the Only Way to Watch College Football

This female West Virginia fan looks like she packed a few too many away during the tailgating and now, as the Mountaineers take on Cincinnati on the field she starts throwing some game at a fat middle-aged dude. Looks like someone is suffering from Fat-Father Syndrome!


No One Likes to See a Sad (Game) Cock

I love crowd shots where you see unhappy fans; providing of course that I am not rooting for one of those sad-inducing teams. Here is an especially displeased University of South Carolina fan putting the cock in Game Cocks as a slew of Florida fans around him celebrate.


Kid Sues School Over Dodgeball Mishap

One summer at camp we were playing dodgeball, campers vs. counselors; it being a sports camp nearly everyone was very athletic– or at least as athletic as teenage Jews can be (with me as an obvious exception) — especially the counselors. With great glee I ran towards a loose ball anxious to make my mark in the game.

Unbeknownst to me, one of the biggest, strongest counselors was arming himself as well. I cocked my arm back, ready to throw and BOOM! Volleyball directly to the face. I fell to the ground, unconscious before I even hit the floor. It. Was. Awesome. To this day it remains one of my proudest moments and something I remember fondly. Sure, it hurt at the moment, but I wore it like a badge of honor.

Shane Reese, a 12-year-old was handed a soccer ball during gym class last December and told to go play dodgeball. Because of some recent bridgework, he was sitting on the sidelines not even playing. By the end of the period though, he was left bruised in the face and missing several teeth.

His school has since offered his family a $20,000 settlement, a Bronx Supreme Court judge will hear arguments and decide whether that settlement is sufficient or if the family is entitled to more.

Someone should tell the parents that their little snowflake is going to get injured sometimes; he’s a kid, it happens, and that they can’t just willy-nilly sue everyone around them. He’s a kid, not your way to get rich.

[NY Daily News]


Ride it Hard and Go to the Whip as Necessary

That’s what she said.

The horse!

I want to put my money down for a night of fun with her, I just hope she has the endurance to go the distance.


Zack Greinke is Having the Best Week Ever

In a stunning near-unanimous voice, the BBWAA actually looked past win totals in order to award the AL Cy Young to the rightful winner, Zack Greinke. The 26-year-old ace, who briefly left the Kansas City Royals several years ago after battling Social Anxiety Disorder was absolutely the best pitcher in the AL, if not all of baseball this year, and it would have been an absolute TRAVESTY had he not won it because of his low win totals. Put Greinke on the Yankees (please don’t EVER EVER EVER allow this to happen) and he’d likely have won 22-24 games, it wasn’t his fault that the anemic Royals offense scored 2 runs or less in 12 of his 33 starts.

Normally a player would be overwhelmed with excitement at winning his first (of several to come) Cy Young awards, but Greinke, who much prefers not to be in the spotlight is a bit more understated.

“Back in Orlando, I haven’t really got a whole lot of attention from people, which has been nice,” he said. “So I hope it doesn’t get that way, where everyone is like, ‘Oh, hey, Zack, hi.’ In that way, it’s kind of like a negative for me.”

This is quite the week for Greinke, first he wins the Cy Young and on Saturday he is getting married to his high school girlfriend, Emily Kuchar, who was once a Dallas Cowboy’s Cheerleader. Lucky man. Toss in the 4-year $38 million contract extension he signed in January and everything seems to be coming up Greinke.

Of course, he’s non-plussed about it all: A lot of stuff going on today,” he said, “when I usually just like doing nothing. But just part of life.”



“This is the Second Best Day of My Life”

One second Stuart Tinner was sitting in the stands watching the St. Albans, UK-based Saracens rugby club against South Africa at London’s famed Wembley Stadium, and the next he’s won $420,000 and everything in his life changes.

The 24-year-old who plays a bit of rugby for a local club team was one of three fans who sent a text message to an in-stadium promotion; if any of the three could hit the crossbar of the uprights from 30 meters away they’d walk away with £250,000. Standing only in his socks, with just once chance, Tinner boots the ball and NAILS the crossbar dead-on.

“I guess I just kicked it as hard as I could and I don’t really believe what happened.”

After the game Tinner joined some of the Saracens for some drinks, still amazed at the complete turn his life had taken, after speaking with his parents he said he intended to buy an apartment and a car but otherwise intended to live his normal life.

Tinner acknowledged that this was a truly momentous occasion in his life; “This is the second best day of my life – the best was when I lost my virginity.”

[Sky News]


DJ Shows Up in Brown-Face to Sammy Sosa’s Birthday

Sammy Sosa has no sense of humor; or at least that’s what Enrique Santos — a radio DJ and the self-declared King of All Spanglish Media — claims after he was unceremoniously banned from Sosa’s birthday party before he even made it through the doors for showing up in brown-face. Santos arrived looking as though he’d perhaps put a bit too much bronzer on his face, and despite being an invited guest to the party, a publicist came up to Santos and told him “You can’t make fun of [Sosa],” referring to the embarrassing photo of Sosa where he seems to have been bleaching his skin, before kicking Santos to the curb.

“I’m currently using a cream which has darkened my complexion,” Santos tongue-in-cheek told her, “Ironically, Sammy is going through the same process, but the cream he is using is making him white.”

The publicist was not amused, “I explained to her that it was a special cream I was using that darkened my face and then I asked her, ‘How many women in here are wearing makeup?” but she wasn’t having it. Was I not white enough for Sammy’s party or have the millions gotten to his head–I mean skin?”

[Enrique Sosa]


Jumping For Joy Can Be Dangerous

Henrik Andersen was excited, he’d just scored his first goal of the season for his Swedish hockey team, Leksand, and so he jumped with joy. Unluckily for him, his jump took him against the boards and the forward hit a piece of the glass that was loose and POOF, like that, he’s gone!

He shouldn’t get too down, most goals get ignored, Henrik’s will live on forever! That WAS a pretty sweet move to score after all.



Soccer Bully Turns Out to be Hot, Not a Bully

Remember Elizabeth Lambert, the University of New Mexico soccer player who captured the sports world’s attention with her rough antics against the decent, god-fearing women of Brigham Young University? Well, she’s back, trying to repair her image with an interview with the New York Times. It turns out that she’s actually a really nice, smart person. Oh, and she’s like super super-cute.

“I think the way the video came out, it did make me look like a monster. That’s not the type of player I am,” said the 20-year-old All-Conference academic athlete. “I’m not just out there trying to hurt players. That’s taking away from the beauty of the game. And I would never want to do that.”

I also wouldn’t want anything to take away from the beauty…of the game.

“I still deeply regret it and will always regret it and will carry it through the rest of my life not to retaliate,” she added.

After the initial outcry from the video, many people noted the hypocrisy of the sports world where because it was a woman being “violent” it was sensationalized as compared to the many similar instances of men doing the same.

“I definitely feel because I am a female it did bring about a lot more attention than if a male were to do it,” Lambert said. “It’s more expected for men to go out there and be rough. The female, we’re still looked at as, Oh, we kick the ball around and score a goal. But it’s not. We train very hard to reach the highest level we can get to. The physical aspect has maybe increased over the years. I’m not saying it’s for the bad or it’s been too overly aggressive. It’s a game. Sports are physical.”

The Internet being what it is, Lambert received multiple messages from men looking to meet up with her; “That appalled me,” Lambert said. “A lot of people think I have a lot of sexual aggression. I was like, ‘Whoa, no, I don’t feel that way at all.’ That’s bizarre and shocking to me.”

So, creepy dudes out there, leave her alone, she’s not like what you saw in that video clip. I understand Elizabeth, I get it, after all, I DID play Varsity soccer in high school. Maybe we should get together and talk about it…

[NY Times]

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November 2009