Posts Tagged ‘University of Texas


Erin Andrews Wants to Make Sure You Notice the Herpes

After the University of Texas’ defeat of rival Texas A&M on Thursday, star QB Colt McCoy stopped with Erin Andrews after the game for a quick chat. America’s sideline princess is all class calling out attention to the herpes explosion on his lip that he of course insisted was from “biting his lip.”

Sure thing, Danny.


Shipley Goes for Famed 6-Year Plan

When I was going off to college, my high school’s college adviser wrote in my yearbook “Have a great 4-7 years in college, you’re gonna need it.” How right he was. Amazingly I defied the odds and finished in only 4 years, and learned a valuable lesson about the dangers of diet pills. So, really, win-win.

Jordan Shipley of the University of Texas Longhorns football team must have received similar advice. Shipley, currently a 5th year player at the school has applied for a 6th year of eligibility from the NCAA. Shipley missed two seasons due to injury, 2004-2005 and now wants to make up that lost time, with that elusive 6th year of college. “I think I deserve another year. I missed over two whole seasons,” Shipley said.

Sure, you absolutely “deserve” it. After all, you got to go to one of the best schools in Texas, for free, for now 5 years, they OWE you because you got hurt. I couldn’t agree more. It’s nice to see a young man who has the proper perspective on life. In other fun news people who were in 8th grade when Shipley started college are now his classmates. Fun!

[Fan Nation]


Things Are Strange in Texas

I don’t know why, but the idea of a coach-in-waiting to me is somewhat creepy. Jim Mora in Seattle, Jim Caldwell in Indianapolis and Jason Garrett in Dallas are all head coaches in waiting in the NFL, and to me, it seems like the nature of the job would lead to problems. Say for example, hypothetically a team like the Cowboys is struggling and their head coach looks over matched, at what point does the head coach lose all credibility and instead players and media start paying attention only to what the coach-in-waiting is saying or doing. After all, he’s going to be the big guy soon enough. I’m not the only one thinking this way either.

Anyways, the University of Texas yesterday announced that defensive coordinator Will Muschamp is the successor to head coach Mack Brown, who has made no announcement that he is expected to retire anytime soon. All my worries about the distraction such a coach-in-waiting could cause though were proved completely fair when I saw this photo of Muschamp on the sidelines. How can Mack Brown compete against a defensive coordinator that can LEVITATE!?! That’s some David Blaine shit right there and we all know he’s a scumbag, so now Mack has to deal with a coach-in-waiting, who everyday is probably waiting for something awful to befall him, AND someone who has studied with David Blaine. This cannot turn out well.
Watch your back Mack.


The Tight Pants Are Form Fitting

Missouri quarterback Chase Daniel watches a lot of other college football to stay abreast of the competition–or maybe he’s staying a-assed of the competition–because it seems when those games are on he may not be solely focused on the action on the field. Here’s a clip of him talking to Kirk Herbstreit about Texas QB Colt McCoy. One word to the wise, football players are generally NOT the most open group of people and telling another player that you think he’s got a great ass may not go over great. That could be just me though…Sure you could say it was an accidental slip, but Freud would disagree, and he did a lot of cocaine so you really want to mess with him?

[Hugging Harold Reynolds]

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September 2021