Posts Tagged ‘JaMarcus Russell

16
Dec
09

Sad News if You’re in JaMarcus Russell’s Fan Club

In 2007 the Oakland Raiders tabbed JaMarcus Russell with the first pick in the draft to become their franchise savior, after a lengthy holdout, he finally signed for 6-years, $68 million. So far, that’s proven to be money really really poorly spent.

For his career, JaMarcus has a 52% completion rate and a 17:22 touchdown to interception ratio; talk about SAVIOR! The Raiders are so pleased with JaMarcus that they worried that if he continued playing someone might be mean to him, and so they benched him in favor of Bruce Gradkowski. BRUCE GRADKOWSKI!

With Gradkowski out with an injury, Oakland is left with the possibility of actually having to PLAY JaMarcus, which, even for the Raiders, is a disaster. So, they signed a CHAMPIONSHIP quarterback, former Buffalo Bill JP Losman who won the first UFL championship playing for the Las Vegas Locomotives.

Good thing the Raiders only have 3 more years, and about $40 million left with JaMarcus!

[Buffalo News]

02
Nov
09

I Guess We’re Setting the Bar Really Low for “Good”

JaMarcus RussellAfter Oakland’s 26-14 loss to the Chargers on Sunday, embattled quarterback JaMarcus Russell spoke with reporters regarding his performance.

I did a pretty good job. When it all boils down to it, you had a chance at the end to try and win. Didn’t do too much damage with the interception. No matter what happened, I think we came out and fought despite the score and just kept pushing and just came out short in the end.

He must be using a different definition of “good” because when you have a $61 million contract you should probably be doing better than going 14-22 for a mere 109 yards, especially when you have no TDs, an interception, 5(!) sacks and a fumble. That to me doesn’t spell G-O-O-D, more like pathetic. Or shitacular.

I would like whatever drugs Jamarcus is on that enables him to hallucinate so powerfully.

[Contra Costa Times]

03
Nov
08

Raiders Haven’t Figured Out Scoring Yet

In an effort to remind his players of the joy of scoring a touchdown, interim Raiders head coach Tom Cable had the team practice touchdown celebrations this past week, in anticipation of their game against the Atlanta Falcons. Cable has been frustrated by seeing his team coming off the field with too many field goals and not enough TDs and so thought this might remind his players of why they are on the field.

“Now we do a thing in practice, where guys run to the end zone,” quarterback JaMarcus Russell said. “Or we make it in the end zone, as far as the offense, [we] congratulate those guys, get used to doing it. The more you get used to it, the more you’ll be better with it on the field, as a team.”

The Raiders, who have scored only 1 first half touchdown all season, a 63 yard pass were hoping that this practice technique would help rid them of their field goal-itis. Good news! It worked! The Raiders did not kick a single field goal in this week’s game.

They also didn’t score a single point as the Atlanta Falcons shut them out 24-0. Looks like all that practicing didn’t help. Now I’m not football coaching expert, (though then again, neither is Tom Cable) but I feel like you end up getting more points if you practice the actual act of GETTING the points, rather than the post-points celebration. But heck, what do I know…




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