Archive for the 'College' Category


John Wall Shows Off His Inner Freestyle Walker

John Wall is the likely #1 pick in this year’s NBA draft, but for the meantime he is forced to ply his trade for the pittance that the boosters at Kentucky secretly pay him.

Despite all that, on the court, Wall is all business, and boy, does he have some skills. For example, while playing the Hartford Hawks on Tuesday Wall makes a hell of a steal and then goes for an inverse stall on the press table into a 180 jump back onto the court. Sign this man up for the X Games!


Talk About Gruesome

Derrick Roland is a senior guard on the Texas A&M basketball team, but last night was likely his last game in college after he suffered a BRUTAL double fracture of his fibula and tibia. Roland underwent surgery today getting an iron rod inserted into his leg. Unfortunately, because of the extent of his injuries and the need for immediate surgery, and it being an away game in Washington, Roland is stuck in Seattle for the time being. His basketball career is likely over after such a devastating injury. If you’re squeamish, I wouldn’t check it out.


The “Best” Names in College Lacrosse

I never played lacrosse in high school because that was at the same time as the tennis season and also the musicals; y’know, because I’m like THE most masculine dude ever. Since I never played, I have no compunction with poking fun at those who do, and who better to aid in the process then the folks over at Inside Lacrosse who cover the college game have released their 2nd annual Face-Off Yearbook All-Name Team. The criteria to be included are strict:

The main qualification is to have a first name that no one has ever heard of. Now, the tricky distinction comes down to differentiating between names that might have some ethnic heritage or lean more toward hippie than preppy.

The name has to be unique, and most importantly, it has to have a certain air about it. Basically, it has to sound like it fits in Judge Elihu Smails’ family, and belongs in a Tuesday afternoon foursome with Spaulding and his chums at Bushwood Country Club.

Without further delay, here are the 1st team winners:

Ridge Flick — Sr., A, Air Force

Ashton Hotchkiss — Sr., A, Roanoke

Gibbs Preston — Sr., A, McDaniel

Forest Sonnenfeldt — Fr., M, Princeton

Keaton O’Hara — So., M, Bellarmine

Caldwell Rohrbach — So., A, St. Lawrence

Zeppy O’Geen — So., F/O, Herkimer

Briggs Davis — So., LSM, Middlebury

Baxter Lanius — Fr., D, Lehigh

Dayton Gilbreath —So., D, Air Force

Brogin VanSkoik — Sr., Potsdam

Brewster Knowlton — So., G, WNEC

All excellent choices, and they have a second and third team as well that you can check out by going to their page HERE. Me, I’d have made sure Austin Milton Winter and Blaze Yeager were on the first squad, but then again, I’m the dude who played tennis and then did high school musicals so…

[Inside Lacrosse]


He Definitely Had Snot Bubbles After This Hit

When Appalachian State took on the University of Montana, I didn’t care. When AS’ Matt Cline caught a pass by the sideline I didn’t care. When Montana’s Keith Thompson absolutely explodes into Cline, I cared.

This hit is so hard that MY ribs hurt.



UNC Removes Opposing Fan — For Rooting For His Team

University of North Carolina’s men’s basketball coach Roy Williams thought it was important to teach his charges the true meaning of class during Saturday’s rout of Presbyterian College. Sure the final score was 103-64 but that doesn’t mean life-and-death don’t hang on every play. So, late in the second half, with the game already well in hand, two police officers conferred with Williams before climbing through the stands about 20 rows up from the UNC bench and removed a fan (video of it HERE).

The man, who was wearing a shirt with the Presbyterian College logo had drawn the ire of Williams after heckling UNC’s Deon Thompson while he was shooting foul shots with 6:45 remaining in the game.

“Hey Deon, miss it,” the man screamed.

The words had great affect; Thompson sank both shots. Williams though was too offended by this action and off went the gendarmes (ultimately three police were required to take the incredulous offending fan out of Smith Arena.)

“When an idiot runs out on the field, they don’t show the idiot running out on the field because it just gives them more publicity,” Williams said following the game. “I don’t think anybody should yell anything negative at our players. Period.

“Let’s don’t make it a bigger thing than it is. But I just don’t think anybody should yell negative things toward our players (when) you come in on our tickets to watch our game.”

Yeah, because running on the field and possibly endangering the players is EXACTLY the same as heckling from 20 rows up during a foul shot. Also, I’m sure the UNC crowd was silent and respectful during any of the Presbyterian players’ foul shots.

A North Carolina spokesman Steve Kirschner later said police “believed” the fan in question to be drunk and he had been asked to move because he was not in his ticketed seat. Riiiiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhhhttttttttt. If you believe that than probably think college basketball is interesting and good basketball.

It’s a good thing they removed that fan though because clearly he was demoralizing the UNC players, I mean, had he not been in the stands, UNC might have won by more than a measly 39 points. The players ought to be ashamed of themselves for getting so down from a little heckling from the stands. Especially from a fan of a college that has NO business ever playing sports against a powerhouse like UNC, that’s like the Celtics scheduling a game against a Charlestown high school

Or it could just be that Roy Williams, for this one moment at least, was a giant douche-fascist of the highest level. Either way.

[The Times News]


Erin Andrews Wants to Make Sure You Notice the Herpes

After the University of Texas’ defeat of rival Texas A&M on Thursday, star QB Colt McCoy stopped with Erin Andrews after the game for a quick chat. America’s sideline princess is all class calling out attention to the herpes explosion on his lip that he of course insisted was from “biting his lip.”

Sure thing, Danny.


BCS Hires Ari Fleischer to Defend the Idiotic

The BCS is probably the most idiotic, asinine, Rube Goldbergian system in all of sports. Instead of having a simple playoffs structure wherein the best teams would play each other to determine the #1 team in the nation, an incredibly complicated and obtuse formula (with so many moving parts and factors that it can ONLY be determined by super-computers) decides what teams play for the championship. This means that sometimes deserving teams like Boise State get jobbed when they needn’t be.

So, if you’re looking to have someone defend something idiotic, asinine and hated by everyone else, where do you turn? The Bush White House of course!

The BCS has hired former White House flak Ari Fleischer, who was the press secretary from 2001-2003. Who better to support indefensible procedures that run contrary to everything that makes intellectual sense and instead lose sight of the original purpose in the first place!

Looks like that playoff system should be in place right around the same time our deficit created by Halliburton starts to get down to the mere $1-5 trillion range.




Gophers Are Dangerous When Cornered

During the halftime of Sunday’s Vikings/Seahawks game there apparently was a fun bit of play with some college mascots taking on some pee-wee football players. Showing that mascots are all class, the Minnesota Golden Gopher stiff-arms, trucks and just runs roughshod over the youths.


Hot Cheerleader Gets Hurt, I’m LIVID!

As the final seconds of double overtime counted down in Saturday’s Oregon/Arizona football game, somewhere out in the crowd a nearly full water bottle came flying onto the field striking Oregon senior cheerleader Katelynn Johnson on the head. She managed to make her way to the sidelines after being hit before she passed out.

A stretcher came out to take her to the hospital where she was kept overnight for observation but she is expected to be fine. When the Oregon Ducks were leaving the field, according to their Athletic Director, they were being pelted with a slew of items, including batteries and bottles.

I for one am HORRIFIED by this incident. If you’re going to hurt someone, hurt one of the UGLY kids, I mean, for god’s sake, this girl is HOT, she doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment. Don’t you know hot people are your betters?

[Oregon Live via Sports By Brooks]


Drunk and Crazy is the Only Way to Watch College Football

This female West Virginia fan looks like she packed a few too many away during the tailgating and now, as the Mountaineers take on Cincinnati on the field she starts throwing some game at a fat middle-aged dude. Looks like someone is suffering from Fat-Father Syndrome!


No One Likes to See a Sad (Game) Cock

I love crowd shots where you see unhappy fans; providing of course that I am not rooting for one of those sad-inducing teams. Here is an especially displeased University of South Carolina fan putting the cock in Game Cocks as a slew of Florida fans around him celebrate.


Chick Fight! Dig it!

During a semifinals match between the women’s soccer teams from BYU and New Mexico things started to get a bit ugly after BYU took a 1-0 lead.

The main offender was Elizabeth Lambert from New Mexico who played more like a linebacker than a soccer player; she proceeded to punch an opponent in the back, grab a girl and throw her down to the ground by the ponytail, excessively trip and elbow, and later slapped another player as she drove to the goal. Vicious!

The score held and BYU ultimately pulled out the victory but you can guarantee they were bruised and battered afterwards and that no love is lost between these two teams.

While clearly Lambert is the aggressor for the most part, those BYU girls do have a bit of fight in them too…

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May 2023