Archive for September 2nd, 2009

02
Sep
09

I Could Take Her

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: ,

AshleyRomeroAt less than a year old, an injury left Ashley Romero paralyzed from the waist down; at age 5 she participated in her first arm-wrestling competition.

Today, the girl-next-door-cute 18-year-old is able to walk, although with a noticeable limp, but it is the arm-wrestling that is taking her places. She left on Saturday for Porto Viro, Italy for the 31st annual World Arm Wrestling Championships as a member of the US team.

As a high school freshman she won an arm-wrestling championship at the New Mexico state fair, leading her to Team USA and joining their team.

Since joining the big leagues, success hasn’t always been easy.

“This will be my second year to compete in the world championships,” Ashley said. “Last year I competed in Canada. I broke my left arm in the championship round of the 55-kilogram division (121 pounds). I was competing against this girl from Sweden. As the match went on I heard a loud pop. I just thought the referee hit the table. It was not until I saw my opponent gasp that I knew something was wrong.”

She tried lifting her arm but could instead only feel the bone in the upper arm move. OW!

At the championships last year she qualified as both a left-hander and a right-hander, but after the injury this year she’ll settle for just going out as a right-hander.

I’m not scared. Bring it on!

[QC Sun]

02
Sep
09

Old Men Tells Young Golfers to Get Off His Lawn, With Pummeling

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Douches and Golf
Tags: , , , ,

baseball1_smallIf there’s anything I want to hear when a 67-year-old man is hitting me in the back of the head with a golf club, it’s the soon-to-be immortal words of Charles Kascinski, “That’ll show you to undermine me!”

It will show me.

Or it would have if I were the one hit, instead that burden fell upon 16-year-old Austino Blaydon of Langhorne, Pennsylvania. Two of Blaydon’s friends were hitting golf balls in the area and hit one through Kascinski’s upstairs window, inciting him towards anger.

Being a responsible adult, Kascinski called the police to report the incident. While he waited for the police to arrive, the two teenagers returned with a third friend, Blaydon. Because he’s sane, he started yelling at the kids, took one of their golf clubs and told them that the police were on their way.

Instead of that being the end of it though, when the police arrived, Kascinski decided to take matters into his own hands. As the boys walked towards the officer on the scene, Kascinski came up behind Blaydon and slammed the golf club into the back of his skull, giving him a 3-inch cut, a fractured skull and a concussion, leading to two days spent in the hospital.

Kascinski was taken into custody, charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, recklessly endangering another person and disorderly conduct and released on $30,000 bail.

Chris Blaydon was outraged. “I am one irate grandfather,” he told a Pennsylvania newspaper, Chris also happens to be the Mayor of Langhorne, so, I’m sure this will all end well for Mr. Kascinski. Continue reading ‘Old Men Tells Young Golfers to Get Off His Lawn, With Pummeling’

02
Sep
09

Please God NO!

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball and Poor Governing
Tags: , ,

Curt SchillingIn an interview with NECN today Curt Schilling told Brad Puffer that he is considering running for the open Senate seat vacated by the death of Ted Kennedy. Schilling since his retirement has settled permanently in the Massachusetts area and is working with his video game company to create a new challenger to World of Warcraft. The big lug, a master on the mound, is never short of opinions which I guess, in his mind, makes him qualified for the seat. Considering that Kentucky sent Hall of Famer Jim Bunning to the exclusive club, Schill must feel like it’d be no problem for him to try it too.

Unfortunately for Schilling, and fortunately for the citizens of Massachusetts (and the US) there is ZERO likelihood of Schilling contending for the seat. He can want it all he wants, but Massachusetts doesn’t send Republican Senators to Washington, and if we did, they’d be at least MODERATELY qualified instead. Appearing before a congressional hearing on steroids does not count as experience.

Now don’t get me wrong, as a pitcher I have immense respect for Schilling, as a person, he strikes me — when not engaging in his many charitable activities — as a tool of the highest level. After all what kind of egomaniac needs to have his own blog to spew whatever comes out of his mind…

Oh.

Right.

Um.

I FORMALLY DECLARE MYSELF IN THE RACE TO BECOME THE NEXT SENATOR FROM MASSACHUSETTS!

[Boston Globe]

02
Sep
09

Stop Abusing Your Monkey

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Douches, Other Sports and Random
Tags: ,

COWBOY MONKEYOut of Japan today comes just your standard story of wrestlers being arraigned for abusing their pet monkey. Nothing to see here folks.

It seems that one former and three current professional wrestlers were arrested after police observed them abusing a pet monkey while at a gym in Kobe, Japan.

Now, the police are bringing the charges to court, saying that the 10-year-old female Japanese macaque was burnt with a lighter, sprayed with deodorant among other abusive treatments. The police were first alerted to the situation after images of the monkey being choked and having a nosebleed showed up online.

As well, the suspects are in trouble for not registering the monkey with local authorities.

It’s a shame when people can’t handle the responsibilites of proper monkey ownership.

[UPI]

02
Sep
09

China Lets Ping-Pong Master Paddle His Balls Around

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports, Poor Governing and Random
Tags: , , , ,

Img214217358Wow, living in China sure seems like fun. For instance, if you are the reigning world champion in table tennis and a two-time Olympic silver medalist like Wang Hao and you want to have a girlfriend, up until very recently, it was forbidden. The 25-year old was banned from dating other players in the national ping-pong program until team officials relaxed their stranglehold on Hao and allowed him to pursue a relationship with Peng Luyang, a 23-year old former member of the team.

“Both of them are old enough and it’s normal,” Peng’s coach, Qiao Yunping said.

As part of their ridiculously tight control over their national athletes, China’s state-run sports system generally bans athletes from dating or marrying until they reach a certain age. As well, many of their winnings are redirected BACK into the system — but then, that’s communism.

Wang has been in this situation before, when in 2004 he started dating another ping-pong player, Fan Ying. Chinese officials booted her off the team for the infraction with Wang receiving no outward punishment. The reason? His world ranking was much higher than hers.

As Sean Connery says in the immortal action classic, The Rock, “Losers whine about doing their best, winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”

[Stuff.co.nz]

02
Sep
09

OVER THE LINE!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , ,

Continuing today’s meme of people falling comes this hilarious clip of a British bowler by the name of Timmy who has narcolepsy. Stepping to the line for his turn, he winds up and…boom! on the lane asleep. Now, I will say this kinda looks like a bullshit clip, but it’s funny and so, who cares!

When he lets go of the ball after he gets dragged off the lane it fucking SLAYS me.

Also, that’s CLEARLY a penalty, mark it zero.

[With Leather]

02
Sep
09

Tony Romo Prefers Blondes

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Celebrities, Football and Hot Women
Tags: , , , ,

After breaking things off with Jessica Simpson, Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo has been spotted around Dallas with a new lady on his arm, former Miss Missouri Candice Crawford. The 22-year old hottie works as a reporter covering the team for a local TV station where she evidently met the young Lothario. She’s also the younger sister of Gossip Girl‘s Chace Crawford, who as yet hasn’t introduced me to Blake Lively, something that is a MAJOR faux pas.

Considering before Jessica Simpson, ol’ Tony was with Carrie Underwood, another blonde-tressed lass, I’m going to go out on a major limb and say Tony seeks out big-breasted blondes. Bold I know.

Candace Crawford 5

[Bump Shack]

02
Sep
09

A Dumbo-Ear Sized Doppelganger

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball, Celebrities and Doppelgangers
Tags: , ,

Appointed by his fellow owners to be Commissioner of Baseball, Bud Selig, America’s most successful used car salesman, has seen baseball’s revenues soar, attendance rise and has presided over an entire era of tainted numbers that he still has yet to apologize for. Had Selig stood stronger or done ANYTHING, we might not look back at the last 15-20 years of baseball as filled with cheaters. Of course, he needed the home run hitters to be prolific to cover up the mess that was the lockout and canceling of the World Series in 1994…Stephen Hawking is considered by many to be the smartest man in the world, quite the lofty position. When not figuring out complicated theoretical physics problems, Hawking is macking it on the ladies. After he and his first wife split up, he married his nurse, who happened to be the former wife of the man who created his first talking computer. Talk about SMOOTH! My man Hawking has got GAME! I say these two are near dead-ringers for doppelgangers, right down to the abnormally large ears.

Make sure to VOTE in the poll below and then to visit the permanent Doppelgangers page to enjoy the many others we’ve assembled.

SeligHawking

02
Sep
09

Ball-Boy Loses Battle of Foot Versus Wall

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, People Hurting Themselves and Tennis
Tags: ,

Formerly loyal commenter myummers used to work as a ball-boy at the US Open matches in Flushing, while he may not have the gracefulness of a ballerina, I am confident that something like this has never happpened to him.

During Andy Murray and Ernests Gulbis’ match last night the broadcast crew was given this delightful treat of a ball-boy trying to get off the court quickly by jumping over a sideline advertisement and instead falling FLAT on his face.

Are there funnier things than people falling, because I don’t know what they are. I’m also shocked that such an epic fail in Flushing didn’t involve the Mets!

[Sports Rubbish]

02
Sep
09

Looking Good D-Wright

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , ,

wrighthitinheadAfter taking a 94 mph Matt Cain fastball off his head, David Wright has announced that he will be wearing Rawlings’ new helmet that supposedly can protect a batter against balls up to 100 mph. I applaud his choice. When these new helmets were announced, most of the big leaguers laughed at them, saying they’ll look ridiculous, apparently saving their brains wasn’t that important.

Then I saw these new helmets. Yowzers. It’ s like that scene in Major League when Vaughn gets his glasses and the manager says “…besides, seeing is the most important thing,” and Willie Mays Hays replies, “It ain’t THAT important…” It looks like Wright took his older brother’s helmet and wore it by accident. I think I’d rather take the fastball off the old helmet…

DwrightNewhelmetWell, at least the Mets can now count the Great and Powerful Gazoo as a member of their team. Maybe HE can magically erase their 17 game deficit in the division…


657284-gazoo_large

Ha, I’m just kidding. Nobody is THAT powerful.

02
Sep
09

RC Plane Divebombs Dodgers Game

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , ,

Last night’s Dodgers/D-backs game wasn’t especially exciting in the gameplay department, but it did feature a notable appearance, a small RC plane executed some aerial moves to the delight of the crowd.

Is there anything that Vin Scully CAN’T make interesting? He continues calling the game while giving attention to what old-timers — I guess — call an airOplane and makes it all worth listening to.

Eventually, like Icarus and the sun, the plane flies too close to the dugout and a D-backs player comes out and rips the wings off, taking the plane out of service. Don’t let that keep you down though kids, you too should seek to soar for the untold heights, always reach for those stars!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

[The Fightins]

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