The Slanch Report

If there’s anything I want to hear when a 67-year-old man is hitting me in the back of the head with a golf club, it’s the soon-to-be immortal words of Charles Kascinski, “That’ll show you to undermine me!”

It will show me.

Or it would have if I were the one hit, instead that burden fell upon 16-year-old Austino Blaydon of Langhorne, Pennsylvania. Two of Blaydon’s friends were hitting golf balls in the area and hit one through Kascinski’s upstairs window, inciting him towards anger.

Being a responsible adult, Kascinski called the police to report the incident. While he waited for the police to arrive, the two teenagers returned with a third friend, Blaydon. Because he’s sane, he started yelling at the kids, took one of their golf clubs and told them that the police were on their way.

Instead of that being the end of it though, when the police arrived, Kascinski decided to take matters into his own hands. As the boys walked towards the officer on the scene, Kascinski came up behind Blaydon and slammed the golf club into the back of his skull, giving him a 3-inch cut, a fractured skull and a concussion, leading to two days spent in the hospital.

Kascinski was taken into custody, charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, recklessly endangering another person and disorderly conduct and released on $30,000 bail.

Chris Blaydon was outraged. “I am one irate grandfather,” he told a Pennsylvania newspaper, Chris also happens to be the Mayor of Langhorne, so, I’m sure this will all end well for Mr. Kascinski.

According to Scott Blaydon, Kascinski has been duplicitious throughout the incident:

[Kascinski] proceeded to lie about the incident and say that my son was in a tug-of-war with him over the clubs, and that it had sprung back and hit my son. Well, incidentally, he’s hit in the back of the head, and it was so hard he has a concussion, he has a fractured skull. So it was just preposterous that he even tried to portray that.

My son never even grabbed the club from him, never even came in contact with the gentleman, never exchanged any negative words — he never even hit a golf ball that day! Wasn’t even involved in the incident.

…As soon as they all turn in single file, and start walking back [towards the police officer] this guy was behind all of them, he grabbed the club he had in his hand, and he hauled off with all of his might, and hit my son in the back of the head.

Seems like a normal reaction to a golf ball through the window.

[Trentonian]