Archive for September 28th, 2009

28
Sep
09

It’s Time To Spray Some Dudes!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , , ,

It’s clinching season around the majors and as teams finalize their playoff spots they take the opportunity to pop some champagne and celebrate. Now, I for one am getting annoyed, and bored, with the constant celebration, great, you’re in, do you need the champagne buckets? Super, you won the ALDS, why not save the celebrating for something more meaningful. Champagne should be limited to winning the pennant or the World Series, nothing else.

Although, it is hard to pass up ejaculatory-like sprays of liquor on a teammate…

cardscelebrate625sept27

At least the Cardinals just celebrated with beer, but then, when you play in St. Louis and play in Busch Stadium I don’t suppose you have much choice… I just hope that after the Red Sox clinch (tonight?) they do so in an appropriate manner.

28
Sep
09

We Need More Shots of Face-Painted Fans With Signs

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Football and Television
Tags: ,

Via the funny folk over at Cracked comes this handy pie chart finally showing us exactly what we are seeing when we watch football on television. I think they drastically undercount the amount of time spent watching truck commercials, but otherwise I don’t have any quibbles. Make sure you check out and read the full article, because, you know, it’s funny!

summary_image[Cracked]

28
Sep
09

She Must Be Holding it For Someone Else

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, College and Football
Tags: , ,

Nicely done Des Moines Register, together we can all promote underage drinking! I for one am SHOCKED and HORRIFIED to find out that a college student not aged 21 was drinking any sort of alcohol. Although, now that I think about it, does Keystone Light even really count as beer, I mean, it’s like 98 % water anyways…

UnderageDrinker[Des Moines Register]

28
Sep
09

Meet the NBA’s Newest Owner

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Basketball and Random
Tags: , ,

If you’re going to be a billionaire, be a Russian one; they seem to have the most fun. First off, they naturally are well-suited to become Bond villains, which is always fun, and then there is the seeming lawlessness that is the Russian government which allows you to make billions more. Win-win!

For instance, here is Mikhail Prokhorov, the soon-to-be new majority owner of the New Jersey Nets just hanging out on his jet-ski doing some tricks. Because you know, what the hell else does he got to do, the man is 6′ 7″, made several billions of dollars in his mid-20s and is already essentially an oligarch.

I just hope he brings the jet-ski and does tricks during half-times. Let’s go Brooklyn!

[Sports by Brooks]

28
Sep
09

You Have to Protect What’s Important to You

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, College, Football and People Hurting Themselves
Tags: , ,

University of Minnesota’s Simoni Lawrence’s hustle doesn’t stop, he follows the play all the way to the sidelines no matter what the personal cost. If it means falling into the sticks on the sidelines, so be it; if it means telling your coach “Motherfucker hit my penis,” and then walking it off, so be it. At the least your coach will appreciate you using a clinical  term for your man-cannon rather than some colloquial slang.

28
Sep
09

Flipping Over NASCAR

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , ,

The only good thing about NASCAR is that when the drivers crash their cars, it’s usually spectacular. Really, how often will you ever see a man flip about 9 times and then have the wherewithal to put his sponsor’s hat on before he gets out, unharmed? Ta-DA!

I do think they’re coddling these drivers too much, if this guy can walk away from that wreck without a scratch there’s simply too much hubris involved. The gods won’t be taunted for long.

28
Sep
09

The End is Near for the Lingerie Football League

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Football and Hot Women
Tags: , ,

LFLPostponed

On October 2nd, the famed Chicago Bliss were supposed to take on the NY Majesty in a regular-season contest for the nascent Lingerie Football League, unfortunately, due to “issues with NY’s facility” the game has been postponed for 6 weeks. This bodes well for the future success of the league…Particularly since the league has otherwise been relentlessly promoting itself and in this instance tried to slip this bit of news past the press; in fact there’s really been NO coverage of this at all. Strange since the most-likely reason the game was canceled was the lack of ticket-sale, it’s almost like the LFL doesn’t want anyone to know…

Stay tuned, America won’t be the envy of the world if we can’t keep our vital struggling sports leagues alive…

28
Sep
09

Well That’s a Metaphor for the Franchise

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Baseball and Pop Culture
Tags: ,

Eddie Vedder is a rabid Cubs fan and so, what better symbol of the continued futility of the franchise than Eddie singing a song he wrote just for the Cubs — entitled “All the Way” — than him forgetting the words halfway through. Although, it being Eddie Vedder it’s not like you can understand the words he says anyways…

28
Sep
09

Pete Rose Gets Escorted to a Fight

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Baseball, Douches and Hot Women
Tags: , , ,

Over the weekend many celebrities came out to see the Vladimir Klitschko/Chris Arreola fight in LA; chief among them is gambling sensation, Pete Rose. And what’s classier than showing up to a prize fight than arriving with a woman who — how shall I say this delicately — looks like she accepts money in exchange for spending her time with you? Yeah, that’s subtle enough. And I mainly say that because LOOK at Pete Rose, the man looks like a troll, how else is he pulling this kind of talent. It’s not as though he has lots of cash coming his way and she just digs rich guys. She’s definitely not old enough to have been a fan of him during his playing days; she probably just loves the modern-Neanderthal-high-sloping-forehead-bad-hair-plugs look, I mean, who could blame her…

RoseFightsiderosefightside2[Sports by Brooks]

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