Archive for September 11th, 2009

11
Sep
09

Tom Brady’s Got ANOTHER Baby Mama

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Boston, Celebrities, Football and Hot Women
Tags: , , ,

Gisele-4It’s confirmed! Clearly, Tom Brady is not a fan of condoms. The long-rumored pregnancy of his new wife, Gisele Bundchen was confirmed by Tom Tremendous in an interview with Chris Berman. Hopefully that is the only time something so ugly and Brady/Gisele’s children are near one another.

During the interview Brady joked about going to the Lamaze classes with his wife saying: “Well, it couldn’t be harder than this training camp, so I’ll be prepared. The women are the ones who have to do the work, we just have to be there and support them, so it’ll be nice to do that.”

Wow. I bet Bridget Moynahan read that and just broke about 12,000 things in her home. That just has to burn her ass don’t it.

Also, I desperately need to find a pregnant lady in the Boston area who is in their class, I don’t care if she’s preggers, I’m still happy to steal Gisele away.

[ESPN]

11
Sep
09

That Seems Fast. Was That Fast?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Olympics, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , ,

I’m not so much of a runner myself; when I was in college and was regularly streaking it was usually more of a jaunt than a run.

Part of my distaste for running is that I am slower than slow. Like, really slow. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not fast.

Sarah though, Sarah is REALLY fast; but then, she’s a cheetah, she was genetically built that way. Here she is at her home in the Cincinnati Zoo setting a new record for cheetahs by running the 100 meters in a mere 6.13 seconds, besting her nearest (male) cheetah competitor by .06 seconds. By comparison, Usain Bolt, the fastest man alive holds the human record at 9.69 seconds. What a slowpoke!

[Barstool Sports]

11
Sep
09

I’m Sure She’ll Grow Up Happy and Positive

By slanch 3 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , , ,

Nearly free of the Chicago Cubs after their sale, the Chicago Tribune can finally see the team in a light-hearted manner. Or at least one clever editor in the Birth Announcements section can where this notice was slipped in:

photo_132576897Suki and Justa Crapi Yeare of Chicago’s north side are proud to announce the birth of our daughter, Waitle Nex, born Thursday, August 20th in Los Angeles. The entire Yeare family eagerly awaits her arrival back in Chicago. The first Waitle Nex Yeare was born in Chicago in 1909. It’s too bad great-great-grandma isn’t around to see her namesake.

Baby Waitle was born several weeks premature but is somehow perfectly healthy. Doctors tell us that the chip on Waitle’s shoulder will wear down over the winter and she will be 100% healthy by spring. You should see how cute she looks with the albatross necklace around her neck.

Hey, what’s a century of failure between friends? Don’t worry Cubbies fans, now you have NEX YEARE on your side.

[Chicago Tribune]

11
Sep
09

They’re On a Boat

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: ,

I don’t own a boat, I’ve never owned a boat, I’ve never spent much time on a boat, but I still find myself invariably drawn to sailing and the ocean. I can’t explain it, but my dream is to turn this blog into a giant cash-cow leading me to owning a super-yacht or the like. You know, small dreams.

So, it was with great interest I saw this video of L’Hydroptere (translates to Hydrofoil) setting a new speed record for sailboats by reaching 51.36 knots (59 MPH) in just 500 meters. Awesome.

How dope is that?!!?

11
Sep
09

Bears Can’t Count to 50

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Football and Mistakes
Tags: ,

Normally the team’s logo goes in the MIDDLE of the field, but the Chicago Bears, ever the trendsetters, instead are caught here painting their logo on the 45 yard line instead. OOPS!

They don’t play at home this week, so presumably this will get fixed. You know, or not, I mean, this is the team that thought Rex Grossman was a starting quarterback in the NFL…

500x_bearsfield

[Deadspin]

Follow The Slanch Report

 Subscribe to RSS Feed

twitter / slanchreport

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

September 2009
M T W T F S S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  

Categories