The Nationals expect that Shawn Hill, who was likely going to be the #1 starter for the Nats (Ugh,) is not going to break camp with the team. I like GM Jim Bowden’s approach here, generally mediocre pitcher, combined with arm surgeries just this past November, sounds like an ace to me!
Ready to lead into scandal on day 1!
Manny Ramirez has been involved in plenty of controversies and other circus like actions throughout his career, particularly as a member of the Red Sox. However, over the weekend these two little bon mots appeared in the respective Boston newspapers, from the Boston Herald, “Ramirez has talked about his new commitment to yoga and meditation at the urging of his uncle. He is reading “The Secret” (Spanish version).” And then from Nick Cafardo in the Boston Globe, “Apropos of nothing…4. Something I never thought I’d see: Manny Ramírez sitting in the clubhouse, engrossed in a book that he’s marking with a pink highlighter.”
Now, call me crazy, but Manny, known more for his reticence in speaking with the media and his bizarre antics than for being a voracious reader doesn’t strike me as the type of man who is reading multiple books at any given time. Therefore, we can safely presume that the book he was so engrossed in and highlighting was the one and the same, The Secret.
It turns out that this is not something new in Manny Ramirez’s life, every year he arrives at spring training with a helpful new tome to guide him that season. As he wants to stay in Boston for the next few years, he has released some of this information to us, in the hard-hitting media of blogs for public consumption and I present it to you now
Wily Mo Pena has been diagnosed with an oblique injury and will likely be out for 4 weeks.
It looks like the World Series dreams for the Nationals are gone now.
I thought they had a great chance too…
Clay Buchholz, the star Red Sox prospect who threw a no-hitter in his second major league start, already is enjoying the life of a baseball superstar.
According to his father on a radio show on Boston’s Only Home for Classic Rock, WZLX, “I know he’s met her, gone out with her, but I don’t know if you consider that dating . . . but hey, a boy could do worse. It doesn’t surprise me any. Last year up in Boston he was dating a Victoria’s Secret model, so he’s moving up the ladder…I mean, he’s got pretty good taste.”
Oh yeah, this is the she that his dad is referring to:
2008 Penthouse Pet of the Year, Erica Ellyson.
And this is Clay’s feeling on the matter,
Once we look past the mild creepiness of his father really enjoying his son’s sex life, it seems that for Buchholz, who is likely to break camp with the Sox, life certainly seems to be moving in a positive direction.
(Some NSFW pics after the jump)
Continue reading ‘It’s Good to be a Phenom’
Thanks to the internet, it is a rare occasion these days for me to enter a video store but recently, when I was in upstate NY some friends and I decided to rent some movies. While in the store, we HAD to check out the adult section, if only as a sociological survey to see what was enticing the peoples of upstate New York.
Turns out upstate is all about the anal. But that’s a digression. In the porn section I came across this high-brow title.
Call me old fashioned, but I miss the days when pornos weren’t just rushed out the door immediately after filming. The days when some grizzled old sketchy dude in the valley, wearing a Gold’s Gym tank top and flip-flops over his yellowing toe-nails would at least glance at the cover to a movie before shipping it out to the masses.
Oh the golden years. It seems those days have long past.
Where I am confused by this movie is; if these women are slutty mothers, how are they also husbands? Are they their own husbands? Do they lead bigamous lives with two families, one where they are the husband and one they are the wife? And are they incredibly horny? Or merely presenting an homage to little-discussed Russian author Andrei Bely? Is this a tranny flick? It wasn’t labeled as such and it’d be a shame to mislead the good denizens of the Stone Ridge area.
I was forcibly dragged out of the room and overruled by my narc friends on renting the film.
These questions still haunt me…
So Mike Cameron, now a Milwaukee Brewer, has applied to get an exemption for amphetamines because of post-concussion syndrome suffered from the ugly collision he had back in 2005 with Carlos Beltran. Cameron is also already suspended by the MLB for the first 25 games because of his testing positive for amphetamines.
I’m no doctor, and maybe his head is still messed up from that collision, but to me, when someone says “”I may be fine, but [the test] can’t hurt. I just want to find out for sure, and whether I need anything to help me,” as Cameron told USA Today it reminds me of the kids in high school and college I knew who all had prescriptions for Ritalin and Adderall. Almost as a rule NONE of them actually needed the drugs and I think I knew of at least 5 or 6 doctors who would write me a prescription sight unseen.
I suggest Mike does what I do when I need some energy… Continue reading ‘Mike Cameron Drinks Your Milkshake (Filled with Amphetamines)’
Frankenstein Duncan doesn’t think he did anything wrong with his slide and doesn’t understand why he was thrown out. The money quote, “I go out there and I try to play the game the right way, I told [Girardi] what I was doing, how the play went through my eyes.”
Well, did the play go through your eyes this way?
Because that’s you sliding into Akinori Iwamura’s junk…
Over-eager uber-douche Shelley Duncan started what became sort of a brawl yesterday in a game between the Yankees and the Mephistophelian Rays when he, for no good reason, slid spikes up into second base. Duncan, who came up last year and showed all the exuberance of a kid straight after eating 37 pixie sticks and shooting up some ‘roids–not to say he does or is even rumored to do steroids, because that isn’t the case–was best known last year for being overly excited to punch his teammates in their forearms the moment they did anything noteworthy.
"Maybe later we can slam together other parts of our bodies..."
Duncan also earned notoriety last season when a 10 year old Red Sox fan asked for his autograph and he signed it “RED SOX SUCK, Shelley Duncan” so obviously there are few limits to his douchebaggery. Shelley is like that overly drunk guy at the party who keeps punching his passed out friend on the couch to wake up and mumbling about playing quarters or else his friend is a total pussy. Continue reading ‘Duncan Chasin’ Waterfalls’
For those of you unfortunate souls unlucky enough to have either Optimum (Cablevision) cable or Dish Network you are missing out on one of the best shows on television right now. Voom HD is comprised of increasingly more and more unnecessary channels for programming starved HD owners; was the demand really that high for Rave HD? Monster HD? But I digress. Treasure HD is a part of the Voom family of networks, with such fine shows as Treasure Seekers an almost identical rip-off of Antique’s Roadshow, it is almost amazing that no one out there watches their programming. there is one worthwhile show though, the single greatest action/adventure/treasure seeking show on TV, Treasure Divers, and it is hosted by THESE GUYS!
On this show you follow Captain Gary (left) and treasure diving legend, Carl “Fizz” Fismer, he’s legendary, because they tell you so.
These two corpulent men take you on a different adventure each episode. Shot in stunning HD, some of the underwater scenes are really breathtaking, most of them are cloudy and show nothing, the rest of the episodes… Well, let’s say that in order to fill their hour-long show there are A LOT of shots and moments that don’t need to be, and really should NEVER be on television not to mention the constant reusing of shots (especially underwater.)
Despite being panned by critics, audiences flocked to see Roland Emmerich’s newest opus, 10,000 BC, and I think I know why.
In 1996, Emmerich directed one of the finest action movies of all-time, Independence Day. More than just a movie, this film was a prognosticator of the future.
If only we had been listening.
Three different, very clear messages were placed in this movie. The first, seen here, is taken from the moment when Jeff Goldblum’s character explains to the President the idea of “line-of-sight” and how satellites work.
Notice the drawing that Goldblum does, look familiar? Maybe that’s because it looks awfully congruent to THIS!
Eerily similar no?
Now a random image in a movie is one thing, merely coincidence, but only moments later, after convincing the President that the time to leave is now, Goldblum and Pullman exit with others onboard Marine One. As they take off, Goldblum pulls out his handy mid-90’s Mac Powerbook and looks at the countdown timer…
DUN DUN DUUNNNNNNN! Now its starting to get a little bit spooky, you’re starting to feel that tingle up your spine… Continue reading ‘Why Maybe We All NEED to See 10,000 BC’
The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.
Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!
The Slanch Report 
Recent Comments