Posts Tagged ‘Shelley Duncan

16
Sep
09

Posada Takes Exception, Provides “Cheap Shot”

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Toronto Blue Jay Jesse Carlson was never a pretty man, after last night he added a handsome welt to his grisly visage after upsetting Yankees catcher Jorge Posada. After coming around the bases, Posada threw an elbow into Carlson who was covering home plate in a move that home plate umpire Jim Joyce called “unsportsmanlike” and a “cheap shot.”

(video of the whole affair is HERE)

Previously the Yankees had hit Toronto’s Aaron Hill and so Carlson threw behind Posada as retaliation. Carlson didn’t hit him though and while both benches emptied in an empty gesture, there weren’t any ramifications beyond both teams being warned.

It was Posada who started the whole affair the second time by shoving of Carlson and that led to the full emptying of the benches and a full-on brawl. Of course, most of the players were just standing around on the outskirts afraid of being touched. It wouldn’t be a douchey brawl if Shelley Duncan didn’t get in the middle of it. Seriously, this dude doesn’t do anything on the field but always wants to fight SOMEONE. What the hell is his problem, take an anger management class or drink some herbal tea or something.

One player who apparently was eager to be touched was A-Rod, because, after all it wouldn’t be a big piling up of men without him throwing out a super gay-sounding quote: “It got pretty heavy and pretty thick pretty quickly.” Yowzers, you want some more dick with that quote?

[Big League Stew and ESPN]

09
Sep
09

Probably the Handsomest Doppelganger Yet

When not signing¬†obsenity-laden memorabilia for children or starting spring training fights, occasionally — very occasionally — Shelley Duncan gets called up to the majors for a few meaningless at-bats with the Yankees. A marginal talent who can hit fastballs and little else, Shelley is also the son of famed pitching coach Dave Duncan and brother to the equally medium-talented Chris Duncan. Star of the cult classic The Toxic Avenger, Toxie is forced to build a home in a junkyard while fighting crime in his neighborhood. His calling card was leaving a mop on his victims’ faces, which, if you think about it, is really gross. Reader Saint Dynamite‘s little bro, minizeges, sent this along so VOTE in the poll below to send it to the permanent doppelgangers page.

DuncanToxicAvenger

12
Mar
09

Yankee Stadium (But Not Jeter) to be Disease-Free

When the new Yankee Stadium opens next month it will be the first antimicrobial facility in Major League Baseball. Undergoing a special treatment, the stadium itself will kill illness causing microorganisms, molds, fungi and bacteria for up to 3 years.

No word on what this means for Shelley Duncan’s future at the stadium…

[UPI]

13
Mar
08

Duncan Chasin’ Waterfalls (UPDATE)

Frankenstein Duncan doesn’t think he did anything wrong with his slide and doesn’t understand why he was thrown out. The money quote, “I go out there and I try to play the game the right way, I told [Girardi] what I was doing, how the play went through my eyes.”

Well, did the play go through your eyes this way?

Because that’s you sliding into Akinori Iwamura’s junk…

13
Mar
08

Duncan Chasin’ Waterfalls

Over-eager uber-douche Shelley Duncan started what became sort of a brawl yesterday in a game between the Yankees and the Mephistophelian Rays when he, for no good reason, slid spikes up into second base. Duncan, who came up last year and showed all the exuberance of a kid straight after eating 37 pixie sticks and shooting up some ‘roids–not to say he does or is even rumored to do steroids, because that isn’t the case–was best known last year for being overly excited to punch his teammates in their forearms the moment they did anything noteworthy.

"Maybe later we could h

"Maybe later we can slam together other parts of our bodies..."

Duncan also earned notoriety last season when a 10 year old Red Sox fan asked for his autograph and he signed it “RED SOX SUCK, Shelley Duncan” so obviously there are few limits to his douchebaggery. Shelley is like that overly drunk guy at the party who keeps punching his passed out friend on the couch to wake up and mumbling about playing quarters or else his friend is a total pussy. Continue reading ‘Duncan Chasin’ Waterfalls’




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