Posts Tagged ‘Joe Girardi

05
Nov
09

Girardi Comes to Crash Victim’s Rescue on Way Home

Joe Girardi in CarEarly Thursday morning after leaving Yankee Stadium — following that game that I have zero interest in talking about — manager Joe Girardi got into his car, headed home to Westchester. He passed through a police DUI checkpoint — despite the copious amounts of champagne consumed in the clubhouse — and continued on his way. A few minutes later the police at the checkpoint received word of an accident up the road and immediately headed towards it.

They came upon a woman who had crashed her car into the wall and the Yankees manager who had stopped to try and help. “He was jumping up and down, trying to flag me down,” Westchester County police officer Kathleen Christiano said. “You don’t expect him standing by a car accident trying to help.”

With aid from Girardi, the woman was able to get out of her car before the police arrived and she declined going to the hospital. Girardi, whose car was actually on the other side of the highway waited until the police arrived and the woman was safe before telling them he “had to get going,” then ran back across the highway, got in his car and drove off.

The woman didn’t know who Girardi, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans was until after he had left and police told her. The police were even more impressed because crossing the highway in that area is extremely dangerous, “He could have gotten killed,” county Sgt. Thomas McGurn said.

I’m not a Girardi fan in any way, but it’s not often the winning manager of the World Series stops and helps a fellow traveler at 2:15 in the morning. Well done Joe.

[LoHud]

27
Oct
09

A Yankee Killer Doppelganger

It’s been far far too long since we’ve had a doppelganger up, and in honor of game 1 of the World Series tonight we have a doozy for you.  Please make sure to VOTE in the poll below as well as visit the permanent Doppelgangers page to see the many other fabulous doppelgangers we have assembled.

When he was hired by the New York Yankees to be their manager, Joe Girardi took the uniform number “27” to show that he was being brought in to win championship #27 for the franchise. With calls for his head after last year’s disappointing non-playoffs finish, Girardi has somewhat redeemed himself by getting to the World Series this year. Then again, he completely mismanages his bullpen, makes decisions that seemingly make no sense and doesn’t always deal with the press in the best manner. Exactly what you want from the manager of the highest paid team in the history of baseball. Despite lacking opposable thumbs, in Jurassic Park the velociraptors prove to be the most deadly killing machines in the park. Sure, T-Rex has all the size, but look at those puny arms, the raptors meanwhile hunt in packs, communicate with one another and can jump and run like they’re in the Olympics. Basically, if it’s you or them, they’re going to win. You don’t mess with the raptors or they’ll cut you in half, here’s hoping the Phillies can likewise eviscerate the Yanks in this series.

Don’t forget to VOTE BELOW only YOU can make sure this doppelganger makes its way to the permanent page!

GirardiRaptor

03
Sep
08

Yankees Ruin Chamberlain for Next Year Too

The Yankees are seemingly intent on making Joba Chamberlain an ineffective pitcher for the near future. That’s because after his latest return from the DL, Joba is headed to the bullpen for the remainder of the season. And, unless something drastic happens, he is unlikely to pitch much more than 100 innings this year, which would mean the process of making him a starter would be exactly where it was this year. Meaning that Chamberlain will be forced to start NEXT season in the bullpen as well. Now, instead of merely wasting ONE year at the major league level, the Yankees are on their way to wasting a second of Joba’s prime years because he won’t be able to throw 200+ innings for at least another year. Chamberlain, who should be a dominant starter, is now being relegated to single inning stints for the next 9 months because the innings increase would be too much possible strain on his arm. Job well done fellas. Now, I appreciate the caution that they are exercising, in fact I think it’s wise, the only problem is that they should have stretched Joba out THIS year, in the minors to start the season. Instead they get 3 straight seasons where he doesn’t pitch enough innings to be truly useful.

Oh, but don’t worry, because the organization is totally aware what’s going on, particularly Joe Girardi who doesn’t let anything slip past him. When asked if the Yankees had mishandled the situation, Girardi responded that this season “had not stunted Chamberlain’s progress.” Brian Cashman, Girardi’s boss (at least for the rest of this season) however feels differently, saying that this season had done just that.

I am in full support of abusing Joba as much as possible, because he otherwise terrifies me. So, keep up the good work boys. Let’s keep him in useless one inning spurts instead of harnessing his incredible stuff to be a dominant starter. Red Sox Nation thanks you all.

13
Mar
08

Duncan Chasin’ Waterfalls (UPDATE)

Frankenstein Duncan doesn’t think he did anything wrong with his slide and doesn’t understand why he was thrown out. The money quote, “I go out there and I try to play the game the right way, I told [Girardi] what I was doing, how the play went through my eyes.”

Well, did the play go through your eyes this way?

Because that’s you sliding into Akinori Iwamura’s junk…

13
Mar
08

Duncan Chasin’ Waterfalls

Over-eager uber-douche Shelley Duncan started what became sort of a brawl yesterday in a game between the Yankees and the Mephistophelian Rays when he, for no good reason, slid spikes up into second base. Duncan, who came up last year and showed all the exuberance of a kid straight after eating 37 pixie sticks and shooting up some ‘roids–not to say he does or is even rumored to do steroids, because that isn’t the case–was best known last year for being overly excited to punch his teammates in their forearms the moment they did anything noteworthy.

"Maybe later we could h

"Maybe later we can slam together other parts of our bodies..."

Duncan also earned notoriety last season when a 10 year old Red Sox fan asked for his autograph and he signed it “RED SOX SUCK, Shelley Duncan” so obviously there are few limits to his douchebaggery. Shelley is like that overly drunk guy at the party who keeps punching his passed out friend on the couch to wake up and mumbling about playing quarters or else his friend is a total pussy. Continue reading ‘Duncan Chasin’ Waterfalls’




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

May 2019
M T W T F S S
« Jan    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Categories