Archive for March 13th, 2008

13
Mar
08

Mike Cameron Drinks Your Milkshake (Filled with Amphetamines)

So Mike Cameron, now a Milwaukee Brewer, has applied to get an exemption for amphetamines because of post-concussion syndrome suffered from the ugly collision he had back in 2005 with Carlos Beltran. Cameron is also already suspended by the MLB for the first 25 games because of his testing positive for amphetamines.

I’m no doctor, and maybe his head is still messed up from that collision, but to me, when someone says “”I may be fine, but [the test] can’t hurt. I just want to find out for sure, and whether I need anything to help me,” as Cameron told USA Today it reminds me of the kids in high school and college I knew who all had prescriptions for Ritalin and Adderall. Almost as a rule NONE of them actually needed the drugs and I think I knew of at least 5 or 6 doctors who would write me a prescription sight unseen.

I suggest Mike does what I do when I need some energy… Continue reading ‘Mike Cameron Drinks Your Milkshake (Filled with Amphetamines)’

13
Mar
08

Duncan Chasin’ Waterfalls (UPDATE)

Frankenstein Duncan doesn’t think he did anything wrong with his slide and doesn’t understand why he was thrown out. The money quote, “I go out there and I try to play the game the right way, I told [Girardi] what I was doing, how the play went through my eyes.”

Well, did the play go through your eyes this way?

Because that’s you sliding into Akinori Iwamura’s junk…

13
Mar
08

Duncan Chasin’ Waterfalls

Over-eager uber-douche Shelley Duncan started what became sort of a brawl yesterday in a game between the Yankees and the Mephistophelian Rays when he, for no good reason, slid spikes up into second base. Duncan, who came up last year and showed all the exuberance of a kid straight after eating 37 pixie sticks and shooting up some ‘roids–not to say he does or is even rumored to do steroids, because that isn’t the case–was best known last year for being overly excited to punch his teammates in their forearms the moment they did anything noteworthy.

"Maybe later we could h

"Maybe later we can slam together other parts of our bodies..."

Duncan also earned notoriety last season when a 10 year old Red Sox fan asked for his autograph and he signed it “RED SOX SUCK, Shelley Duncan” so obviously there are few limits to his douchebaggery. Shelley is like that overly drunk guy at the party who keeps punching his passed out friend on the couch to wake up and mumbling about playing quarters or else his friend is a total pussy. Continue reading ‘Duncan Chasin’ Waterfalls’




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