Archive for October 8th, 2009


Former Porn Star’s Song May Save French Coach’s Job


Up until recently French national team coach Raymond Domenech was in very real danger of losing his job with many French citizens and media members demanding his head. Thanks to a new pop song from Catherine Ringer titled Je Kiffe Raymond (I Fancy Raymond) he’s likely received a reprieve.

With lyrics like “If he attacked my penalty areas, I would be without defenders,” Ms. Ringer’s song is just a tad bit suggestive. Considering her past, that’s no surprise. Ringer, who rose to fame with Les Rita Mitsouko, an alt-rock group before going solo started out in a very different field, ’70s porn. Perhaps you remember 1978’s Color Climax Special 257 or Stories of Bottom in 1979. And who could ever forget her phenomenal 1981 works Marathon Love and Deep Throats and Little Girls? I know I haven’t.

Thanks to her song becoming a hit, Domenech’s popularity is on the rise and calls for him to be replaced aren’t as prominent. Here’s the song below for you to enjoy in all it’s French-ness.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

[Sports by Brooks]


The Sun Doesn’t Want You to See the NLDS

Due to normal solar activity, TBS’ airing of today’s Rockies/Phillies game could be disrupted. Apparently every February/March and September/October there are certain days where the position of the sun can interfere with TV satellite broadcasts.

The period of interference is supposed to occur during 4:10 pm – 5:10 pm EST. Any disruption of service should only last two-five minutes. Let’s hope this goes better than last year’s horrific Steve Harvey disaster.

I’m still not over that. Not very funny TBS.



Giant Pumpkin Cannon in Ulster County Gets Me Excited

If you think I’m not going to post a 97-foot pumpkin cannon that can launch a bowling ball-sized pumpkin (or a bowling ball) over a mile than this must be your first day on my blog.

The cannon, built by farmer John Gill and Gary Arold in Ulster County, NY shoots its payload out at 600+ miles per hour and, tilted at 45 degrees, shoots 3,500 feet in the air. The friends built the cannon in 2006 after seeing another, smaller one and deciding they could top it.

97-foot-long barrel that shoots gourds roughly 4,000 feet, at a speed of 600 miles per hour. Tilted at a 45-degree angle, the cannon shoots about 3,500 feet high. Gill, a corn and vegetable farmer, and his construction buddy Gary Arold, built the pumpkin cannon in 2006 after they saw a friend’s smaller model.

The items shot out the cannon include pumpkins, scuba tanks, a basketball filled with corn and foam installation and of course, the bowling ball.

“The first time we shot a bowling ball, that’s was probably the worst thing we ever did,” Arold says. “It kept going and going and going.”

Awesome. I want in.

[Times Herald Record via Gizmodo]


Kilted Scot to Marathon Through the Amazon

Dave CowanCalling itself one of the most dangerous races in the world, a mere 136 competitors have signed up for the Jungle Marathon 2009 race. The seven-day 222km marathon makes its way through the Amazon rainforest near Para, Brazil. The runners will face intense heat and humidity as well as poisonous snakes, tarantulas, jaguars and many other dangers.

Dave Cowan, a Scot grocery store manager and father-of-one is one of the participants, kilt and all, hoping to raise £2000 for the children’s hospice charity CHAS.

He said, “I’ve put in hours and hours of training and I’ve been so focused on this for so long I need it to be done now.

“I’m like a coiled spring ready to be let go.

“When I watched the marathon on television I saw people having to be fitted with drips and be carried away.

“That’s what pushed me to see where my limit is.

Like the other participants, Cowan will carry all his food and equipment with him through the course in a backpack weighing nearly 30 pounds through a place where at night it “cools” down to a balmy 80 degrees.

Once the race begins Sunday, you can follow Dave and all the other racers via the Jungle Marathon website.

[The Courier]


Well, Fan IS Short for Fanatic…

lobster-knife-fightAfter Monday’s Vikings/Packers Favre-fest some Packers fans were noticeably on edge. Ryan Hinderaker was one of those fans. Wearing a Packers T-shirt he got into an argument with a Vikings fan at the Leaning Tower of Pizza restaurant in Minneapolis where they were watching the game.

The two men “bickered back and forth” for a few minutes and after the game Hinderaker followed him outside intending to confront the opposing fan.

Being rational, Hindraker did the only appropriate thing, he pulled a knife out of his pants pocket and stabbed the other man in the stomach.

Showing his gentler side, after stabbing the other man Hindraker then called 911 and turned himself in. What a guy! He was charged with felony second-degree assault.The victim was rushed into surgery, but fortunately the injuries aren’t life-threatening.

The police made sure to note that the victim wasn’t wearing Vikings gear.

Police said the victim wasn’t wearing Vikings attire.

[Star Tribune]


Freshman Dorm Gets 52-Year-Old Resident to Spice Things Up

Mike HamrickAt the beginning of the semester, the freshman residents of South Residence Hall on Marshall University’s campus were awfully confused, “who is that old guy wandering around here all the time?” they must have asked themselves. A few weeks into the beginning of the semester Mike Hamrick (far right) was even stopped by one of the RAs who wanted to know what he was doing there. Hamrick explained that he lived in the dorm and then pointed at the all-girls wing, saying his room was down there. That must have seemed awfully creepy to the RA.

Hired in July as the school’s new Athletic Director, when he moved from Las Vegas Hamrick informed school President Stephen Kopp that he would need some temporary housing. “He got back to me and said ‘I’ve got a really great apartment for you’ and I said great,” Hamrick said.  “He said it is in a residence hall and I said ‘Great, I can’t wait!'”

So now the 52-year-old 1980 Marshall grad is back where it all started, reliving his college experience; he hangs out eating pizza, watches sports with the other guys in the lounge and does his laundry on Sunday afternoons like any other freshman. No word if he has had any awkward walks-of-shame as yet.

“At first, the students looked at me kind of funny like ‘who is this old guy?'” Hamrick said.  “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of an athletic director living in a freshman residence hall.”

He’s having fun with the situation, getting to know the students, he even went to school with one of the RA’s mom! The other day while doing laundry a student came up to Hamrick,

“He said, ‘Excuse me sir, I’m not trying to be rude, but what are you doing,'” Hamrick said.

When Hamrick replied that he was doing laundry, the student then informed him it was a freshman residence hall. “I told him I live here and he said, ‘You’re a freshman?'” Hamrick said.

Hamrick said he jokingly told the student he was a 52-year-old freshman who had been out in the world and decided to return to college.

“After about ten minutes, I finally told him that I am the new athletic director,” he said.

…”I feel like Rodney Dangerfield [in Back to School],” he joked. “To be honest, it’s made me feel young.  I graduated in 1980 and living in the dorm makes me feel like I never left.”

At the end of the semester Hamrick’s wife will join him in Huntington and he will move off campus to his new home. In the meantime he’s emailing back and forth with his daughter, a freshman at the University of Nevada-Reno comparing freshman dorm experiences.

My recommendation is that if Hamrick wants the kids to really like him, he better man up and start buying the freshman some beer. After all, who is going to bust the Athletic Director for throwing a party? Also, he better pull his weight during the dorm water-gun assassins tournament or there will be hell to pay!

[The Parthenon]


Michelle Beadle Takes Off Brett Favre’s Pants

Former YES host Michelle Beadle (and dream woman of commenter Myummers) made this faux-commercial for her current gig of hosting ESPN2’s Sportsnation spoofing Brett Favre’s Wrangler Jeans ads. It’ s not incredibly funny, but she’s really attractive and her pants fall down so, there’s that, and really that should be more than enough.

[With Leather]


Let the Master Baiters Be Who They Are

master_baiters_catch_more_fish_t_shirt-p235643573184809689yii5_400For the longest time I didn’t know that netball was a sport, I thought it was just a weird New Zealand and Australian way of saying volleyball, I was wrong, it’s a real sport! One I find bizarre and don’t totally get, but still, a sport.

While attending the Sydney World Masters Games tournament in western Australia, the women’s netball team out of Greymouth, New Zealand were forced to change their name by tournament officials who were concerned about a “possible double-meaning.”

The Master Baiters whose name refers solely to the practice of Whitebaiting — the act of catching White Bait, a herring-like fish instead were forced to change their name to the Master Netters.

Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. I can’t believe the organizers thought that the Master Baiters had some double-entendre, can’t some women refer to catching fish without getting accused of having sex on their brains! It’s just WRONG!

[3 News]


Don’t Call Him a Billionaire

Tiger Woods Giant CheckYesterday at a press conference for the President’s Cup, Tiger Woods was asked how it feels after a report in Forbes Magazine claimed he is the world’s first billionaire athlete.

“Well, one, I haven’t, so I don’t know where that number came from,” he laughingly responded.

Forbes, who say their numbers can’t be 100% accurate arrived at their conclusion after looking at his tournament winnings, endorsements, appearance fees and Tiger’s golf-course design business. Toss in that he just took home a $10 million check for winning the FedEx Cup over the weekend and if he a billionaire yet, he sure as hell will be soon.

It’s good to be Tiger.

[NBC Sports]


Shannon Brown Slams in the NBA (Exhibition) Season

Last night was the start of NBA exhibition season which means we only have 9 short months until the end of the NBA Finals. Better rest up!

Shannon Brown of the Lakers hasn’t been resting up, here he is going coast to coast and throwing down a vicious dunk on professional stiff Mikki Moore.

Get ready for basketball highlights again!


Finally, a Chance to Own Your Own Stadium

large_WEB-Silverdome_ForSaleDo you have a couple million dollars just sitting in your bank account collecting dust? Well the city of Pontiac has got the deal of the century for you,  the former home of the Lions, the Pontiac Silverdome.

With seating capacity up to 80,311 you can throw a really epic party for all your closest Facebook friends. Finally live your dream of going behind the counters of a real hot dog vendor stand!

And remember, back when the Lions played in the Silverdome they weren’t the essence of suck that they are now, they played to 91-71-1 record in the Silverdome, so the stench of failure doesn’t totally permeate the stadium. Impress ladies at a bar by telling them you own the place where the largest attendance record for a sports event was set, the epic WrestleMania III where Hulk Hogan took on Andre the Giant. Any woman who doesn’t immediately fall for you after learning that factoid isn’t worth your time. What about when you tell the ladies that during their 1994 North American tour Pink Floyd played the entirety of The Dark Side of the Moon for the first time since 1975? Put THAT in your pipe and then pass it to your neighbor because, c’mon, you never take your own greens.

The city is accepting sealed bids for the stadium through November 12th and the 127+ acres it sits on, so you have limited time to get your ducks in a row. The Silverdome would also make a great stocking stuffer for those closest to your heart.

[Williams Auction via Darren Rovell]

Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

October 2009