I didn’t even know that the Lingerie Football League was advanced enough to have sideline reporters, let alone television coverage. Apparently they do! Here’s one of the Denver Dream showing that the ladies of the LFL may need a bit more time in media classes.
Archive for October 7th, 2009
07
Oct
09
This Man Nose Blowing
Jemal Tkeshelashvili is an 18-year-old Georgian judo champion but he has other talents too, like bursting hot water bottles using only his nose.
“My first and childhood dream is to become an Olympic champion [in judo], and I am sure I will do it for Georgia,” he says. In the meantime, he’s dominating these hot water bottles.
Ever the showman, Jemal also likes to give himself a degree of difficulty by bursting a hot wattle bottle while a man sits on it. Ta-da!
The official record for this is currently held by American Brian Jackson (USA! USA!) who did it in 50.8 seconds, Tkeshelashvili’s times are yet to be certified.
[ESPN and First Coast News]
Sometimes you’re just especially unlucky when trying to attack strangers on the street. Dean Gardner, 19, and Jason Fender, 22, two local toughs in Swansea, Wales saw two men walking in front of them in ladies clothes and figured them as easy marks. So they brazenly walk up to them, and the bare-chested Gardner starts throwing punches.
That’s when Gardner and Fender’s luck went to shit, the two men they attacked are trained cage-fighters. Immediately after Gardner tried to attack them, one of the men, dressed in a smashing short black dress, stockings and suspenders and on his way to a party comes up and knocks both Gardner and Fender out with one punch each.
The two thugs try to scurry away, but all concussed they find it a struggle to walk and ended up being caught by police shortly thereafter as they tried to recover from their wounds. The cage-fighters then pick their purses back up off the ground and go on their way.
Because it was in the UK, there was CCTV footage of the incident available , so you can appreciate the idiocy of these two guys firsthand. Both attackers were quite drunk, and had only a few minutes before attacked a man dressed in a Spiderman outfit.
Mark Davies, who is defending these two idiots in court told the judge, “Unfortunately they were extremely drunk, and you know it cannot have been a good night when you get into a fight with Spiderman and two cross-dressing men.” A bit of an understatement but, yeah, very true.
They were both sentenced to 4-months community service and must wear an electronic tracker as well as pay the prosecution costs.
[Sky News]
In town for the President’s Cup golf tournament at Harding Park, Michael Jordan received a polite chastising from the folks that run the course. A photo of Jordan — who is serving as an honorary assistant to US captain Fred Couples — puffing on a cigar during a practice round caused the controversy.
Owned by the city, Harding Park is a smoke-free facility, even out on the course, and so Recreation and Parks general manager Phil Ginsburg sent an e-mail to the PGA Tour. “It was a gentle nudge reminding them that smoking is illegaland that we would appreciate their support.”
It seems that Jordan knew he wasn’t allowed to do it, but said, “Fuck it, I’m Michael Jordan,” which, to be fair, he is. He told PGATour.com that he “heard this is a public place, so they limit what you can smoke. I’m not even supposed to be smoking, but this was a practice round and no one said anything.”
In a perfect world, Jordan likes to smoke a minimum of three cigars per round. A violation of the smoking ban can cost as much as a $100 fine, and methinks Jordan probably has that in the bank.
“But don’t expect me to ask him for it,” city attorney’s spokesman Matt Dorsey told the SF Chronicle.
[ESPN]
When the game ends, emotions often are still running high, particularly so for one fan after this Alabama high school football game. Apparently dissatisfied with some of the calls in the game, he slowly makes his way down to the field, then, as everyone is leaving the field at the end of the game he seizes the day and attacks the refs. That’ll show ’em!
I’m shocked something like this could happen in Alabama, I always think of that state as so rational.
At the age of 50, Jerry Johncock began running, in the 31 years since he has competed in more than 400 races, from 5Ks to 50ks and over 100 marathons; last year in the Twin Cities Marathon he set the US marathon record for men ages 80-84. This year during the same marathon he arrived at mile 21 with a problem.
Johncock desperately needed to urinate but he wasn’t able to get anything out. Having had a similar issue in the past, he recognized it as being caused by a blood clot in his urethra. Race officials at the aid station didn’t have anything to help him and were recommending he go to the hospital. However, since he started racing Johncock has never dropped out of a race.
“I wanted to finish. I didn’t want to go to the hospital.” He explained afterwards. An onlooker in the crowd heard about the issue and volunteered that he just happened to have a spare catheter in his car.
“I said, ‘Oh, you saved my life. And you saved my marathon.'” Then, in a feat much more impressive than his racing records, Johncock inserted the catheter into his own john-cock, “What a relief that was. I must have had a pint of urine inside me,” he said.
Finally relieved, Johncock got back onto the course and finished the marathon with a time of 5:22:17. While he was well off his record pace of 3:59:12 from last year he still placed first in his age group.
I feel lazy and inept compared to this upstanding gentleman. I think if someone told me I had to insert a catheter into myself I would probably just pass out. And to finish the race! Wow! I’m also very intrigued by this by-stander who just drives around with plenty of spare catheters hanging out in his car; who is this person and WHY is he always putting tubes into his pee-hole?
Ever since the Beijing Olympics I’ve been a fan of American sprinter and Rashida Jones doppelganger, Lolo Jones. Thankfully ESPN is releasing their much ballyhooed “The Body Issue” edition of the otherwise useless ESPN the Magazine where she is prominently featured. For this issue ESPN photographed various athletes (tastefully) nude and to highlight some of these incredible athletic bodies. I for one am most thankful they included Lolo.
Here is one of the photos they took, click on it to see a slightly more NSFW version complete with butt crack!
She seemed down with it all too, saying:
It was pretty cool and the whole shoot was done in a very tasteful and discreet way. The whole premise behind the shoot was not to create sex appeal, but to portray a strong, beautiful, athletic woman and I think we achieved that. I’m not very comfortable in those situations, in fact I’m quite conservative. But the whole crew helped me through any unease, and I felt a lot more contented with the shoot when I thought of it as being just like a drug test.
I can only hope this leads to many similar photos of Ms. Jones and none of fellow Bodies Issue photographee Joba Chamberlain.
Because there are few things funnier than a person getting hit in the nuts, here is a husky teenage soccer ref taking a shot directly off the ol’ grapes. He receives no sympathy from the on-lookers who laugh at his misery. Despite never blowing the whistle to stop play, the young kids in the game DID show some compassion and all sat on the field and waited until he was ready to resume his job. Classy!
07
Oct
09
I Will Forgive You
Are there sexier things than this music video? And what ever happened to the stand in one place and dip your arms dance move, that is STYLISH!
They shouldn’t be asking for OUR forgiveness, we should be just be thankful that the Triple Crown Line is in our lives at all. I know I am.
I do just have one question, what was the third guy doing below the boards before he suddenly pops up in the beginning?
The Slanch Report 
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