Archive for October 2nd, 2009


Can’t Get Enough Fantasy Hockey?

Hockey-Heaven.jpgMe either, but I’m doing it anyways! There are limited slots available in the inaugural Slanch Report fantasy hockey league, and we’re looking for YOU!

If you think you have chops or you know anything about hockey you’re already a decent shot to win. We’re drafting MONDAY night, so, you must sign up BEFORE THEN. If you want in, send me an email here and I’ll send you all the relevant information.

If you’ve ever dreamed of being in a fantasy hockey league with a famous blogger, settle for me! If you’ve never played fantasy hockey and/or know nothing about hockey, join us!

Fantasy hockey forever!


I Always Preferred the Red Kind

3557444We have a new favorite in the Best Name in College Sports competition, meet red-shirted sophomore Gelo Orange from Wake Forest. A linebacker by trade, Orange has several blocked punts on his resume, once of which was integral in the Demon Deacon’s victory over Boston College last November. Originally from Haiti, Orange moved to Florida in 2004 to live with his father, and that is when he took up football.

[Wake Forest Sports]


So THAT’S What They Do When Guys Aren’t Around

I always knew that when I wasn’t around cheerleaders everywhere were playing craps, smoking cigars, helping each other stretch and of course, the pillow fights. Always the pillow fights. I don’t know what it is, but something happens once those pillows start flying and feathers fill the air, women live for that moment. Right? Yeah, that’s probably true.

If you ever wanted to know what goes on behind the scenes in the Washington Redskins cheerleaders dressing room, here’s your (incredibly staged) chance.

I just hope the NFL won’t come down hard on these ladies for their locker room gambling, it could really jeopardize the Redskins’ chances this season.

[You Been Blinded]


I’m Guessing Most of These Guys are Single

Some people are EXTRA passionate about their local NFL team, you’ve seen them on TV, dressed to the 9s in some outrageous outfit that somehow shows they care for their local 22. The terrifying thing about these people is that during the week they are probably just like everyone else, but come Sunday, some switch in their brain gets hit and the crazy starts coming out. Just think, next time you’re at the grocery store, this could be the guy in front of you, or behind you. Look out!


[DJ Mick]


Devoted Husband Chooses Hockey Over Sex

couchBefore every sports season some lazy columnist somewhere will write the same tired article; X sport has started and some fans are really into it and don’t pay attention to their loved ones. The Globe and Mail’s Dakshana Bascaramurty churns it out this time, but at least he adds a fun wrinkle, some TMI from a New York couple.

Cori Stern-Torres (not pictured) retires her risqué lingerie and razor from October to April every year and lets her body become “a jungle.”

Her husband of seven years, Jim Traynor (also not pictured), is a rabid New York Rangers fan and she says she’s invisible to him during hockey season.

It’s why Ms. Stern-Torres, 46, relishes commercial breaks: She’s mastered the art of doing the deed in those brief minutes before her hubby’s focus returns to the glow of the TV screen.

But if Ms. Stern-Torres yearns for a longer session between the sheets, she has to share time with 21 hulking men – her husband’s beloved Rangers.

“There were times when we were having sex and he’s been watching the game,” she said from her home in New York. “If I want to get some and there’s a game on, that’s what we have to do.”

Last I checked, commercial breaks are only a few minutes which means that she spends from October until theoretically June being unsatisfied. Well, at least there’s always the summer!

Oh, and if, like me you’re a visual person, thanks to the magic of Google, here are Cori and Jim’s Facebook pages so you can put faces to this sexless couple. Enjoy!

[Globe and Mail]


That’s Not a Balk, This is a BALK

I keep meaning to post this but forgetting. In Monday’s Phillies/Astros game during the 6th inning, Yorman Bazardo balked, allowing Shane Victorino to score from third. Yorman was SHOCKED and so home plate umpire Tim Tschida demonstrated exactly what Bastardo did. For an older guy, Tschida has some serious moves. He should be on the MTV’s The Grind.

Vodpod videos no longer available.
Hey, remember the Grind? That show was awesome, especially the spring break ones and the one where they did it simultaneously in 4 countries. Ah, good times. How has MTV not brought that back yet?

[The Fightins]

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The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

October 2009