The Slanch Report

Before every sports season some lazy columnist somewhere will write the same tired article; X sport has started and some fans are really into it and don’t pay attention to their loved ones. The Globe and Mail’s Dakshana Bascaramurty churns it out this time, but at least he adds a fun wrinkle, some TMI from a New York couple.

Cori Stern-Torres (not pictured) retires her risqué lingerie and razor from October to April every year and lets her body become “a jungle.”

Her husband of seven years, Jim Traynor (also not pictured), is a rabid New York Rangers fan and she says she’s invisible to him during hockey season.

It’s why Ms. Stern-Torres, 46, relishes commercial breaks: She’s mastered the art of doing the deed in those brief minutes before her hubby’s focus returns to the glow of the TV screen.

But if Ms. Stern-Torres yearns for a longer session between the sheets, she has to share time with 21 hulking men – her husband’s beloved Rangers.

“There were times when we were having sex and he’s been watching the game,” she said from her home in New York. “If I want to get some and there’s a game on, that’s what we have to do.”

Last I checked, commercial breaks are only a few minutes which means that she spends from October until theoretically June being unsatisfied. Well, at least there’s always the summer!

Oh, and if, like me you’re a visual person, thanks to the magic of Google, here are Cori and Jim’s Facebook pages so you can put faces to this sexless couple. Enjoy!

[Globe and Mail]